Quote:
Originally Posted by topguntex
Lauren! and a everyone else who has had a successful non-monogamous relationship. In any world.
The truly polymorous who can live without jealousy can indeed have multiple partners and even multiple loves. I am truly blessed that I got over jealousy long ago. I had a wonderful relationship with a dancer who loved to swing. We had a great time together, and she taught me so much about life, love and sexuality.
I believe that there is no reason to love only one other person, as so many are worthy of our love and affection. We are all capable of an unending supply of both, so why limit either giving or recieving in any relationship. Monogamy is a crock, IMO.
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I think monogamy has a place in the world, some people can't handle multiple partners, and working through all the emotions and ideas would be a long and difficult process. I think the only time there's a problem is when different people spend their time trying to convince others they are wrong, rather then acknowledge they are not the same person and should not lead similar lives. People have an astoundingly hard time understanding that what makes them happy would make other people absolutely miserable.
I have always said that love isn't some finite substance, it isn't a pie being split up. I don't have less love for one person because I also love another. Love is infinite. I do find that I can only have one dedicated partner, because time IS finite, only so many hours in a day. So I generally have a dedicated partner, then I have playmates. As long as no one is mislead I find it works nicely.
Are you jealous of the ocean's generosity?
Why would you refuse to give
this joy to anyone?
Fish don't hold the sacred liquid in cups!
They swin the huge fluid freedom.
(Rumi)
Amusingly, all men I dated have been monogamous, save for one. I'm not sure how that keeps happening - but there it is! They all know when they get involved that monogamy from me isn't an option, and if they are hoping it will be one day, they're wasting precious time and should look for another partner.
They know they're free to wander, but don't. I can't imagine they were hiding relationships as that would make no sense since I don't give a damn and encourage them to explore. Interestingly, they are happy to accept me as I am. I haven't quite figured out this puzzle: how a monogamous man can seem perfectly happy dating a polyamourous woman. When relationships have ended, my wandering never played a role. I have been fortunately in that I could always talk about my life and experiences without any jealously from them. I think jealousy doesn't flare up because I'm very careful not to give them any reason to be jealous - being in a polyamours relationship means investing a lot of time into your partner's emotions. I suppose this should be true of monogamy, but there's more room for conflict when there are multiple partners, so it brings that need to the forefront on a daily basis.
I have had limited good luck in introducing my male partners to each other when I think they have much in common - in one case the two became amazingly good friends and seem to talk to each other as often as they communicate with me.
It's a fun world, full of unexpected goodness and adventure for those with the natural inclination to explore.
Being a prostitute or Being your mate?
And the winner is....
