Best Advice from a Companion

[OneHotMale]

Originally Posted by WTF

Of course it is. If not you would be doing it for free!

I will say and this is a compliement. My weenie wish's to meet you before you leave this life but my brain (and my stomach) hopes we meet outside it. Good luck pretty lady!

LMAO damn you are just one rico suave dude huh WTF?

[Katy Alexander]

Originally Posted by Natalie

I

One of my provider friends taught me never to underestimate my worth. When I first began, I was so grateful for what seemed like enormous amounts of cash, and so I felt a bit too indebted to my first clients, like they deserved whatever they wanted from me. She taught me to be upfront, value myself, and say no when I wanted to.

Good advice, I went through the same thing when I first started escorting.I also went from a low paying regular job to being an escort, so I feel lucky that I know how valuable the income, and time that we are given really is.

I like to keep my lifestyle comfortable, but very simple.I am sure that most of my clients are on the upper middle class to wealthy end ,but I have never felt the need to keep up with them.It is fun to go on nice dinner dates,or evenings out to see how the other half lives, but it is also a comfort to return to my more moderate existance at the end of the day.

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

At the risk of being flamed I'll speak openly (and I speak only for myself and my own experience, as it seems important to note that).

As mentioned above, I'm not really looking for an exit. My experience has been extremely positive, save for the odd bad one. But that's life, bad things happen from time to time. In almost a decade of companionship, the good ones have way out weighed the bad.

However, other women don't have as good an experience, or it doesn't meld well with their psyche. So the advice of having an exit strategy is good. Even though I don't want to "exit" I do have a fallback career. So if I'm injured, ill, tired, in need of solitude - I have options. Always have options!.

Lauren, I think we are very similar when it comes to this.I really have no desire to quit.I get a great deal out of what I do that really does go beyond the money.I can not think of anything else that I would rather be doing at this moment, but like you I also keep in mind that there are situations that are out of my control such as getting sick,or injured. Having other options is so important, because even for those of us who do not want to move on anytime soon this is a business that offers no safety nets except for the ones we set up for ourselves.

This has been a great thread to read, and learn from.

Thank you for posting it.

Originally Posted by Nicole Preston

I've never been under the illusion that I've touched hearts, or that I'm special and meaningful in a client's life. Sure, we have a great time for an hour or two and I'm giving something that they are not getting at home, but that's where it ends for me. The man rarely leaves his wife for the mistress...providers are "the other woman", and it's just not the life I wish to continue.

I agree that most of our clients are not looking for anything permanent , or complicated. But if they were just looking for basic sex it would be much easier, and cheaper for them to just stay home, and masturbate.I like to think that if you are kind to people, and can offer them something sincere that you can have a positive influence on their lives.Maybe not permanent,but is their anything in life that is?

You are a smart woman. I am sure you have touched more lives than you may realize, but I also think that you will do great at what ever you decide to accomplish.

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by Becky

I do not bite the hand that feeds me lol.I prefer to side with the one who pays my mortgage

Not to pick on this post, but you all have taken my comment out of the context that the advice was given. If you read my follow up post, you will see it was the provider's hand that was feeding me. I was basically being told "don't bite the hand that feeds you."

IOW, if a provider invites me to join her and HER client, than I will defer to HER. She invited me and I would have never met him otherwise. And if I totally try to steel him from her than yeah, I may have won a client, but she (nor anyone else who hears about it) will ever invite me to join them again. But, more than likely, the client will find my tactics tacky and not be interested in me for being catty or sneaky.

The advice wasn't given as who's side to take if a conflict between a provider and client happened. However, if a client was rough with a provider and physically harmed her. I wouldn't run to the client and say, "provider X is telling everyone that you gave her a black eye. Well, she's such a bitch I'm sure she deserved it. But, now that you aren't seeing her, I'm available." No, I would tell him that what he did was wrong and I would avoid seeing him. Also, if I read a girl's post and her opinion on the board. Whether I agree with her or not, if a gent decides to blast her on it and attack her, I will stand up for her. I will tell the attacker that she is entitled to her opinion even if he (and possibly I don't agree) and I will not join in and flame her with him. But, I will also stand up and defend a male client who is also being flamed for having an opinion that differs as well. So, this is not just provider/client specific.

But, "siding with the provider over STEALING her client" is what I should have said.

My hierarchy,

My client
Other provider
Her client

I will put my client first, followed by the other provider that is there. If we are with HER client then I will put her first followed by her client.

I hope that clears it up.

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Naturally I disagree that it's all about the money (because of my personal philosophy). I know many other women adopt it but I just can't do that. I spent my first 5 years believing it was all about money and it made me most unhappy and I think a worse companion (not that it makes all ladies worse, just me). In the second half of my career I met three men that changed my world and made my rebirth as Lauren possible.

I have formed friendships I treasure, and I have men I love. They haven't been happy to just abandon me when things weren't perfect, and in fact, I they've been most embracing of my imperfections as we've gotten to know each other. However, I was also happy with the fact that they were human, no selfless supermen. I still see some of the first men I've ever met, both on dates, and off the clock.

I make less money as Lauren, which is something I've not quite gotten used to, but have a much better time. Skimming the mens thread I see this fear of love. It is not rare for things to mean more then sex and money in this world. It doesn't always have to end badly or get complicated. You just have to be good at managing your heart (and few are). You have to have good relationship and boundary management as well. And when someone can't manage their heart or their mind, there's no use in trying to help/teach them. I'm not afraid of crossing boundaries, but I won't cross boundaries that my partner can't manage.

Lauren,
We are one mind when it comes to this. I couldn't have said it better. I couldn't do this if it was all about the money. The relationships I make are what life is all about!

[Nicolette Morgandy]

I didn't get any advice per se from a companion; I just read and use common sense.

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

An excellent point and it's never easy. I have three times been forced to say goodbye, because they weren't good for my psyche anymore. Good people at heart, but they were having a destructive effect on my self esteem and sanity, and I couldn't look forward to seeing them.

One piece of advice I often give women: Learn to say no to the money. No matter how high the number, if it's someone you aren't happy when you're together, it's better to turn away from the financial benefit. Women that never say no to the right number, seem to grow bitter and angry over time.

WORD! BEST ADVICE IN THIS THREAD!

[Ansley]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Morgandy

use common sense.

Ya think? It's amazing how well that works.

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Morgandy

use common sense.

Originally Posted by Ansley

Ya think? It's amazing how well that works.

And how seldom done.

[Katy Alexander]

I am sorry Nicolette, I was half asleep when I posted that, and did not read your entire post only the first line.It is so rare for me to have contact with other escorts other than this board, or when giving a ref for a client,so for me at least I probably would be more likely to take a clients word over that of another escort just because It is more than likely that I have spent time with the client.

I can also be a bit on the sexist side , because most of my closest friends have been men, so that is the other reason why I am likely to lean in their favor .I am not saying that it makes it right , but hope this helps to explain my half asleep comment from last night.

Either way it is only fair to read the entire post before commenting, so I do apologize for that.If you ever see me post after my bed time (9 PM or so) please keep in mind that I may be typing in my sleep

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

Not to pick on this post, but you all have taken my comment out of the context that the advice was given. If you read my follow up post, you will see it was the provider's hand that was feeding me. I was basically being told "don't bite the hand that feeds you."

IOW, if a provider invites me to join her and HER client, than I will defer to HER. She invited me and I would have never met him otherwise. And if I totally try to steel him from her than yeah, I may have won a client, but she (nor anyone else who hears about it) will ever invite me to join them again. But, more than likely, the client will find my tactics tacky and not be interested in me for being catty or sneaky.

The advice wasn't given as who's side to take if a conflict between a provider and client happened. However, if a client was rough with a provider and physically harmed her. I wouldn't run to the client and say, "provider X is telling everyone that you gave her a black eye. Well, she's such a bitch I'm sure she deserved it. But, now that you aren't seeing her, I'm available." No, I would tell him that what he did was wrong and I would avoid seeing him. Also, if I read a girl's post and her opinion on the board. Whether I agree with her or not, if a gent decides to blast her on it and attack her, I will stand up for her. I will tell the attacker that she is entitled to her opinion even if he (and possibly I don't agree) and I will not join in and flame her with him. But, I will also stand up and defend a male client who is also being flamed for having an opinion that differs as well. So, this is not just provider/client specific.

But, "siding with the provider over STEALING her client" is what I should have said.

My hierarchy,

My client
Other provider
Her client

I will put my client first, followed by the other provider that is there. If we are with HER client then I will put her first followed by her client.

I hope that clears it up.

[Nicolette Morgandy]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

And how seldom done.

You're so funny, but you made a valid point.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Morgandy

You're so funny, but you made a valid point.

Nicolette, Please do not encourage him

Originally Posted by Becky

But if they were just looking for basic sex it would be much easier, and cheaper for them to just stay home, and masturbate.

Becky!

I'd forgotten about that option.

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

Also, if I read a girl's post and her opinion on the board. Whether I agree with her or not, if a gent decides to blast her on it and attack her, I will stand up for her. I will tell the attacker that she is entitled to her opinion even if he (and possibly I don't agree) and I will not join in and flame her with him. .

Nic, everyone is entitled to their opinion, just not the facts. That is the twenty thousand dollar question. One, how to point out misleading opinion in a nice way. Two, the person acknowledging that their opinion was not based in reality once pointed out. Those two things can be a beautiful thing. It is how we learn things. I love this process and readily admit I really need to work on number one!

[Katy Alexander]

Originally Posted by WTF

Becky!

I'd forgotten about that option.



!

Shush now do not tell the others that masturbation is free.Someone has to pay my property tax next month

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by WTF

Becky!

I'd forgotten about that option.



!

I figured being his own biggest fan that could be accomplished very quickly.

If we don't hear from WTF, he rediscovered himself

[jessejames]

PHD from the School of Hard Knocks

[Anne Shimizu]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

...
Naturally I disagree that it's all about the money (because of my personal philosophy). I know many other women adopt it but I just can't do that. I spent my first 5 years believing it was all about money and it made me most unhappy and I think a worse companion (not that it makes all ladies worse, just me). In the second half of my career I met three men that changed my world and made my rebirth as Lauren possible.

I have formed friendships I treasure, and I have men I love. They haven't been happy to just abandon me when things weren't perfect, and in fact, I they've been most embracing of my imperfections as we've gotten to know each other. However, I was also happy with the fact that they were human, no selfless supermen. I still see some of the first men I've ever met, both on dates, and off the clock.

... Skimming the mens thread I see this fear of love. It is not rare for things to mean more then sex and money in this world. It doesn't always have to end badly or get complicated. You just have to be good at managing your heart (and few are). You have to have good relationship and boundary management as well. And when someone can't manage their heart or their mind, there's no use in trying to help/teach them. I'm not afraid of crossing boundaries, but I won't cross boundaries that my partner can't manage.

Great advice. However, not all of us want to quit. I'd just add that, even if you're in it for life (or as long as men desire you), one should still have goals outside of Demiland, and pursue them. Keeps the head on straight...

One piece of advice I often give women: Learn to say no to the money. No matter how high the number, if it's someone you aren't happy when you're together, it's better to turn away from the financial benefit. Women that never say no to the right number, seem to grow bitter and angry over time...

I find none of this a wast of time. I find it intellectually and spiritually enriching. However, this goes to a faith-based philosophy that I have adopted. The world is a wonderful place to explore, but so is the human mind...
However, this is probably something I ought to never post on a forum anywhere, I come from a faith that in ancient time believed hookers belonged in temples. Aside from there, my faith also believes in something called "Solitary Priesthood", so you participate in no congregation, but take matters of the faith seriously and care for the souls of others.

So exposure to this over a long period of time has engraved itself in me and I embrace that. I will never have children, I will never marry. I find it very fulfilling to do what I can to care for people's psychological and emotional well being in a way that they allow and are comfortable with (boundaries).

... Though I don't "counsel" the people I meet in this life, if they invite me to, and lay out the ground rules, I am more then happy to be part of their journey in life as a friend and lover - which unlike counseling abused women in shelters, leaves me feeling full of joy and still gives me that fulfilling sense of happiness (selfish, but not a bad way to be self fulfilling lol)
...

Thank you for sharing, Lauren - this was a wonderful post.

My favorite line: I'm not afraid of crossing boundaries, but I won't cross boundaries that my partner can't manage.

That requires a high degree of awareness and empathy.