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Camille · 04-09-2011, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WTF

No I suggested you tell them about your job while taking them underware and see if they might be intrested.

Is that so wrong?

It's not realistic WTF....and I'll tell why since the coffee is kicking in.
When you go to a shelter, IF you are invited in you are chaperoned first of all. That conversation is going no-where with an onsite worker at your side. Secondly, they would call the police with no hesitation. It's tantamount to pimping...and that's a serious charge. I don't care how you dress it up, walking into a shelter and suggesting a woman prostitutes herself is going to get you in a shitload of trouble and you are NOT obtuse enough to fail to see that. Only a pimp would be stupid enough to try that why is why the suggestion came across as "pimpish" to me.
Finally, these women have lost everything. To suggest they put themselves in a position where they lose the last thing they have (their children) when they are already vulnerable is just plain stupid.
Your logic defies common sense on this one altogether. You can't fit a square peg in a round hole.
I agree with Lauren in that prostitution is NOT a lifeline you throw at someone.
It should be one of many options a woman has. The reality isn't always that true but nonetheless, taking a somewhat predatory approach to suggesting it is just plain wrong.

C

WTF · 04-09-2011, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camille

Give over. I'm only on my first coffee so I have no idea why it sounds as I said yet. It just does. I'll think about it some more after a couple more coffees

Back to what Lauren and Nina and others have said though it does seem that when we give to shelters (or think of doing so) we are not always giving basic enough things. As I said in my earlier post, I would never have thought of knickers...yet it's pretty obvious really isn't it? Bath/cleansing products too...another brill idea. I'm guessing that things like toothbrushes/tampax/hairbrush and perhaps things like face cloths would be very welcome too. I've taken lots of clothes and boots etc before...but never thought about anything as basic as the things that have come up in this thread. I'm going to making up a box of all the above which I'll take down when I've done a bit more travel so it's well stocked with the smaller toiletries.

C x

Well thank you for that reasoned response!

What they really need is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and jobs!

We can give them all the panties we want but that is a drop in the bucket. I know a bit more about this subject than I am letting on.

I'm going to go have a cup of joe myself and hope calmer heads have prevailed once I return!

WTF · 04-09-2011, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camille

I agree with Lauren in that prostitution is NOT a lifeline you throw at someone.
It should be one of many options a woman has. The reality isn't always that true but nonetheless, taking a somewhat predatory approach to suggesting it is just plain wrong.

C

Would you quit using the word ''predatory'' ? It is total BullShit to wtf I said. I never said to walk into a shelter and say ''Hey bitch's! Go work for a pimp!''

So please quit saying I said something I did not. You can see wtf ever you want to see but I will not let you lie about what I said. Please send me a pm and explain how you could ever see something like that in anything I posted.

I do not want to turn this into a pissing match which some of you seem hell bent on doing.

If you really want to fix this understanding feel free to pm me, if not the subject matter is closed as far as I am concerened.

''Thanks for the panties and Oh btw, what do ya'll do for a living?''

atlcomedy · 04-09-2011, 10:17 AM

Sounds like a few folks on here got their panties in a bunch...

NinaBrooke · 04-09-2011, 10:18 AM

I think what WTF is trying to tell all of us is that we should rather help these women to maintain a stable situation for their lives and assist them in finding a way out of these shelters rather than just dropping by our panties ;-). I don`t think he meant pimping these people into prostitution.
But taking our help a step further and really engaging with these people rather than getting a pad on the back for not really really helping.
He just brought it across a bit cynical, that is all.

I don`t know about the USA, but in europe welfare institutions or help funds don`t take anything that comes from escorting or prostitution, even if its meant to be well. Its a bit hypocritical I^d say, but that is the status quo.

WTF · 04-09-2011, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I think what WTF is trying to tell all of us is that we should rather help these women to maintain a stable situation for their lives and assist them in finding a way out of these shelters rather than just dropping by our panties ;-)..

You can drop your panties anytime!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I don`t think he meant pimping these people into prostitution.
.

Of course not!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninasastri

But taking our help a step further and really engaging with these people rather than getting a pad on the back for not really really helping.
.

Exactly!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninasastri

He just brought it across a bit cynical, that is all.

.

Thats me!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I don`t know about the USA, but in europe welfare institutions or help funds don`t take anything that comes from escorting or prostitution, even if its meant to be well. Its a bit hypocritical I^d say, but that is the status quo.

We call that politics here in the good ole USofA!

Here's to nina and Ms C for taking time to listen.

BrynnLaraby · 04-09-2011, 01:45 PM

Thank you Lauren! And thank you for bringing the awareness of those in shelters to the board. We have all been so blessed in many ways, and it really doesn't take much of ourselves to give to those who don't necessarily need a hand out, but a hand up. I think that we all have been a place like that at one time or another in our lives. It’s good not to forget.

Guest050715-1 · 04-09-2011, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

I actually collect all the complimentary products the hotels give out. I travel with my own toiletry set, so I just clear the counters and let them refill everything. A four day stay provides a lot!

At the end I take a huge box of shampoos, conditioners, soap, mouth wash, moisturizers etc...

It's actually a small luxury when you live in a place like that, to get a little bottle of luxury moisturizer from a high end hotel. It doesn't seem like much, but when you've gone through a lot, and don't have a lot, the littlest of things can make a person smile.

Excellent idea. I always travel with my own personal items too. Another thing, I almost never use the make up and treatment in the gifts with purchase at the Lancome or Clinique. I have a ton of that stuff.

I sued someone once and donated the money I won to the Houston Area Women's Shelter and gave some extra to my lawyer.

BrynnLaraby · 04-09-2011, 02:11 PM

Oh my, what started off as such a wonderful reminder to all of us, to stop and remember those less fortunate then ourselves has turned into a mighty Pimp em out / Turn em out fest.

The women in shelters may indeed at some point turn to this lifestyle, out of desperation or need. But it is a thought that should come to them on their own, not be suggested to them by a stranger who has no idea on what it is that they have just gone through.

I will be blunt here. This business is not for those who are weak of strength and heart. It can be a ball busting, tear your soul apart, and spit you the hell out while taking even more from you then you had to give if you are not in the right mind place.

I am not going to sugarcoat it. This is a job that requires someone to be at a place in her life where she knows exactly who she is, where she wants to go, and has some level of self-assuredness to be able to stand her ground when confronted with someone who wants more from her than she can give.

To someone new in the business there are many of those that will take advantage of them, be it the physical or the mental.

A woman, who is fresh in a shelter, has just walked away from the only life she has known. She will be filled with grief, sorrow, anger, anguish, and a general feeling of being lost. To advocate to anyone at that point in their life to start in this business is not just a cruel joke- luring them with money, but inhumane.

If a woman lost her husband to death, bills were piled up (in this economy not many are with extra money) reeling in her loss and grief, would you suggest to her “Hey there darlin’, why don’t you start screwing random strangers for money so that you can get back on your feet?”

No, you would take her a plate of food, hoping to offer her substance to get through, and a time to heal. These women need the very exact thing, for they too are in a time of mourning.

To state any different shows a general lack of empathy and compassion for others and quite frankly makes me wonder how you would treat women in this business or in life general.

NinaBrooke · 04-09-2011, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrynnLaraby

[SIZE=3]
I will be blunt here. This business is not for those who are weak of strength and heart. It can be a ball busting, tear your soul apart, and spit you the hell out while taking even more from you then you had to give if you are not in the right mind place.

Hi Brynn, I agree with everything you stated above. And you are right with the business part of this escorting. Yet, to be close to reality i have found that most women start in this very young and don`t have what you would call the strength and the heart. It requires skills and many of us get adapted to that later on, once already started. I have found that when you are very young , and i am sure all of us have at some point, you are not aware of many things that come into your consciousness at a later point in life. I was very shy when i was 18 or something and now i am 35 and i am more comfortable in this business then when i was younger. So its an adaptative process and i see many young women being insecure or making mistakes i would never again make.

So i have to say that the heart that is required in this business is something you evolve over time and don`t have "right" from the start, too. Its like in any other job as well. For me personally it was harder to work as a cashier during my times as a student than doing escorting. Simply because the conversation was too onesided. Sitting whole days and the only thing you talk about is "how much does this item cost?" required for me a lot more strength than doing escorting. It made me feel like groundhogs day over and over again. But that is just me.
I think it requires a certain craziness to get started, but to keep doing it requires more than that :-).

Btw: I love your homepage, its really nicely done!

Fancyinheels · 04-09-2011, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pyramider

All shelters are in need of soap and shampoos, too.

I've been taking the little toiletries from the hotels I've visited and dropping bags full off at the local Salvation Army shelter every month or so, accompanied by toothbrushes and paste contributed from my dentist or purchased from a dollar store, along with combs and brushes. They are very grateful.

Hmmm, I could donate some of the once-worn bras I've tried that were a wee bit too confining for my 42C Irish peaks, but not sure what the religious organization's reps would think of pop-up, pop-out, see-through lace, fishnet, silk, satin, and leather. Might give them, GASP, immoral thoughts.

Camille · 04-09-2011, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I think what WTF is trying to tell all of us is that we should rather help these women to maintain a stable situation for their lives and assist them in finding a way out of these shelters rather than just dropping by our panties ;-). I don`t think he meant pimping these people into prostitution.
But taking our help a step further and really engaging with these people rather than getting a pad on the back for not really really helping.
He just brought it across a bit cynical, that is all.

I don`t know about the USA, but in europe welfare institutions or help funds don`t take anything that comes from escorting or prostitution, even if its meant to be well. Its a bit hypocritical I^d say, but that is the status quo.

I am in total agreement that those that have the time can contribute something of longer value than useful but short term commodities that get them by. For the last 2 years, I have worked on Christmas Eve and Christmas day at a shelter in Boston. Rather than sit on my arse alone, it was both fun and helpful to go and hang out and prep dinner for those that would otherwise be alone without food. It's a very humbling experience. I go once a month as part of a small group of us that help out with resumes etc for those that are ready to move into more permanent housing. I've taken a couple of this folks to interviews and waited forthem after. It's a small show of support but it's shitty going to your first interview and not having anyone to really talk to about it after. I doubt I could spend more time there but I'm aware they need it. It was actually via the shelter that I got involved with another organization that helps children that have been bullied (as well as those that bully) who get the bulk of any free time I have. All that said, EVERYTHING helps...be it panties, soap or time. Don't under estimate the value of any of it...it really does all go to good use.

C x

WTF · 04-09-2011, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrynnLaraby

Oh my, what started off as such a wonderful reminder to all of us, to stop and remember those less fortunate then ourselves has turned into a mighty Pimp em out / Turn em out fest.

Only if you keep on insisting that is what you read. It was not what was said. I have no idea why you think that was what was said.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrynnLaraby

The women in shelters may indeed at some point turn to this lifestyle, out of desperation or need. But it is a thought that should come to them on their own, not be suggested to them by a stranger who has no idea on what it is that they have just gone through.

What do you tell them when they ask you what you do to make ends meet? Do you tell them the truth? My suggestion was to actually donate $$$$$$$$$ and let the shelters buy what they need. That is the most efficient model.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camille

. All that said, EVERYTHING helps...be it panties, soap or time. Don't under estimate the value of any of it...it really does all go to good use.

C x

Agreed but if you are going to actually spend money and not donate used items, my suggestion was to give it to the shelter and let them prioritize. By all means take any discarded items to the needy. I give all my old clothes to my lawn guy. He dresses better than me now!

Camille · 04-09-2011, 05:42 PM

One thing I forgot to mention for anyone thinking of volunteering their time at a shelter is that you will be heavily screened before they allow you to volunteer (I assume that's not just limited to Boston). The do a full background check and require employments refs going back 3 years. They also ask for personal refs from people that live in the area. It's actually pretty hard to volunteer as you have to be able to commit to some kind of schedule too. You cant just drop in as and when....they take it seriously.

C xxx

atlcomedy · 04-09-2011, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camille

One thing I forgot to mention for anyone thinking of volunteering their time at a shelter is that you will be heavily screened before they allow you to volunteer (I assume that's not just limited to Boston). The do a full background check and require employments refs going back 3 years. They also ask for personal refs from people that live in the area. It's actually pretty hard to volunteer as you have to be able to commit to some kind of schedule too. You cant just drop in as and when....they take it seriously.

C xxx

I think the screening will vary greatly with the organization & level of involvement.

If you wanna serve lunch or build a playground etc. many places are happy to have you day of; no questions asked.

Anything involving kids and one-on-one interaction will be heavily screened.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WTF

My suggestion was to actually donate $$$$$$$$$ and let the shelters buy what they need. That is the most efficient model.

Agreed but if you are going to actually spend money and not donate used items, my suggestion was to give it to the shelter and let them prioritize. By all means take any discarded items to the needy. I give all my old clothes to my lawn guy. He dresses better than me now!

Add to that you can more cleanly deduct it and as a result be more generous.

Again WTF isn't talking about cleaning out your closet or dropping off what you took from the hotel, but donations where you are spending real cash.