In life, there are always legal issues.
With that being said, I had noticed this topic a few months ago but everyone was being (well, somewhat) civil and I'm just getting caught back up.
This is my two cents ... and take it for what it's worth.
When I was in my 20's, the urge to procreate was strong. Not sure why. I certainly wasn't that maternal when I was younger, but there you have it.
I dated a lot. Lived with a few guys. And I would always think about how it would be to become a parent.
Then, I had a heart to heart talk with my godmother, who I admired very much. And I'll share with you what she told me. She said that having a child with a committed partner was difficult enough. But the odds of the child growing up, and remaining sane (alright ... this talk was over 30 years ago and so bear with me!) and healthy, was just better in a 2 parent household.
With that being said, I was also thinking (in my turbulent 20's) of having a child much like you are. Imagining what I would do. How I would dress him/her. Rules that I may or may not have. Ways I would educate this child. And other ways that I could make things work, financially. Activities ... the whole thing that most females consider when having a child. I cannot list them all.
And that was just that. Fantasy.
Fast forward 25 (+/-) years. I had a child as a single parent. I was older. Not that much wiser. And I've done the best that I can.
However, I can share with you that being a single parent isn't that easy, even as an older mom. Also, even though the father hasn't been in the picture, it was always in the back of my head that he could return and cause havoc.
In a way, with hindsight being 20/20 and all, it would have been nice if he had shown up a time or two. Helped out, etc. Even if a financial obligation wasn't in the cards, the emotional support would have been nice.
As it was, I HAD/have family support. So it was better for me than for some others.
But keep daydreaming about children. It's part of our inner need (Jung and that collective consciousness thing is working, if you believe in that theory) to want to fuck and create others. But since you're on birth control, I would suggest having a few more birthdays before making such a big commitment.
If you think that finding a life partner, while doing the work that we do, is difficult in your 20's, try being in your 40's as a single parent. It's really not possible. Or rarely.
So again, this is some cheap advice. Keep thinking of your options. I consider daydreaming about children along the same lines as daydreaming about your dream wedding, if that's your thing (never was mine).
But I'm an old sex worker. I've seen a lot. Frankly, the comment of "get a puppy" is a good one, although it was meant to be snarky.
I don't believe that having animals is a good precursor, or good practice (I've read some people do), for having a child. But if you cannot keep an animal healthy, with vaccinations, or vet upkeep with registration, etc. Then, take your time having a child.
And one last bit of advice: Having a child is more expensive than you could fathom at this time. And it NEVER gets cheaper. You think after diapers, it'll be less expensive to cloth your child. It's not.
Then, you think grade school will be less expensive because you won't have daycare. It isn't. Then you have other expenses.
And don't get me started about college. I'm still working (working full time) because of college. Well, and a few other reasons.
I liked your topic. It was certainly interesting. I've had several friends who have considered what you're considering over the years, including myself on some level.
But the total commitment, of having just one baby, is something that you'll never realize until after the fact. And sometimes, being a single mom with a baby really can suck, even when it's (mostly) wonderful.
Trust me on that one.
Take care,
Elisabeth
My Bio Page - Texas - Dallas
My Bio Page - Texas - Houston
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