je suis arrivé..
me and BobbyMann went on a pub crawl together. we decided to celebrate our new sense of Collegiality (see the thread "AMP recommendations" in Men's Lounge.. I am not allowed to link it here), by tossing back a few drinks. we drank Dallas Whiskey and lost our minds.. briefly. then headed to Houston for Highballs (3 for a Dime). we hit the rooftop of the Scout Bar, and sang at the top of our lungs..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82FXizQPZyA
we had not made further plans, but Bobby said we should extend the pub crawl a couple of days, and hit El Paso.. we hit a Karaoke joint there, Bobby was throwing back Scotch and water like it was Kool aid, while I sipped Corona. Bobby got a little rowdy, and the Bartender cut him off. Bobby wanted to sing.. the Karaoke Machine Operator suggested "El Paso", by Marty Robbins.. Bobby snarled that "El Paso" was a dumb song, he rambled on about the song having the storyteller dying at the end, so how can he be telling the story if he's dead? Bobby looked over the song list, and asked if they had "Asshole from El Paso"..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AH_Owld5UI
the Operator said "we don't have that".. Bobby deadpanned, "yes you do, he's serving drinks behind the Bar". minutes later El Paso's finest showed up to read us the riot act.. and to test our levels of intoxication. I blew a .07, Bobby blew a .23.. the Cops told us to get lost or face trespassing charges. I promised to drive, and keep Bobby secured in a seatbelt; the Cops let us go, one of them high-fived Bobby, saying he would be passed out before he could get to .23..
we headed towards Amarillo, but I got lost after a while.. "GPS, read me the GPS Bobby"! Bobby pulled a piece of paper from his shirt pocket, and began reading off female names and prices. "never mind", I yelled back.. we ended up in Dumas, Texas, at another Karaoke spot, where Bobby delighted the locals with his version of "I'm a Ding Dong Daddy from Dumas"..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZQjJus-tso
the applause was heavy.. "perhaps y'all would like to hear some of my poetry"?, Bobby inquired.. "no poetry Old Boy, let's get out of here while we are in their good graces"!, I rejoined. Bobby suggested we hit Abilene for our final pub stop, before returning to DFW.. "why Abilene?", I asked.. "women there don't treat you mean", Bobby said.. ok, whatever. we rolled into Abilene, but Bobby paused.. "I need to get some pussy, do they have any Cat Houses in this town"? I told Bobby I doubt it, he started to log in to ECCIE.. "look, it says I'm manned"! "no Bobby, it says 'banned', you and I are banned".
disgruntled, we decided to keep going, and make South Dallas our final stop.. we hit a Karaoke pub on MLK Boulevard.. Bobby and I spied 2 young (and FINE) black ladies sitting together.. "watch this", Bobby told me. he wandered to their table, bottle of Hennesee in hand. I followed close behind, ears perked as Bobby told them "the Yellow Rose of Texas" was written about a black woman. the young ladies were unimpressed, but half-heartedly applauded when me and Bobby duetted on "the Yellow Rose of Texas". we rejoined the ladies at their table, Bobby whispered in my ear.. "the song was the set up, now they will give themselves to us".. I trusted Bobby, we threw back a few drinks, and the girls told us they knew a backroom we could use.. me and Bobby accompanied them, Bobby glanced back at me with a grin.. "I told you I could score us some pussy" he whispered.
we woke up about 5:00 the next morning.. the ladies were gone.. the joint was locked up. our wallets were empty.. Bobby was missing $845, I had $690 that disappeared. "so those girls were Hookers", Bobby decided. "I must have blacked out big time.. I hope the sex was worth $845"! I didn't want to spoil the end of our adventure.. I simply nodded.. I didn't have the heart to tell Bobby we got rolled.
