nothing reply anything you want

[roscoe14850]

Originally Posted by anita germane

i thought id be gone for today..but my plans didnt work out...so..im posting this here..

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it''s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it''s $4.95 a minute.

Too funny!

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by anita germane

i thought id be gone for today..but my plans didnt work out...so..im posting this here..

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it''s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it''s $4.95 a minute.

But so much more fun at $100 to $500 in person depending on where one is shopping. mmmm 300/60=5
and only 5 cents more a minute. at current average rate.

[Guest091813]

A man lives on a farm, he writes to his son in prison, "I can't grow potatoes this year. I'm too old to be digging up the field." Soon he gets a letter back from his son. "You can't dig in the field, that's where I buried the bodies!" The next morning, people came from the police. They dug up the entire field but found nothing. Soon the farmer gets another letter from his son. "Now Dad, you can grow potatoes. It was the best I could do from here."

[NormalBob]

Originally Posted by anita germane

i thought id be gone for today..but my plans didnt work out...so..im posting this here..

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it''s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it''s $4.95 a minute.

For you young people, the joke used to be that sexual harrassment laws were written to protect women from the advances of ugly men.

Personally, I didn't find it funny.

[MC]

Always liked this joke:

A Marine and a sailor are taking a piss. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor says, "In the Navy... they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine turns to him and says, "...in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands.”

FYI, my Grandfather was actually in the Marines, although I'm not sure if I'd ever tell him the joke

[offshoredrilling]

its a old joke, and been told with every branch of the service in each spot. But yes its still a good one MC

[MC]

Usually, when it comes to my brand of humor, I prefer standup comedians who are a little out there (Patton Oswalt, Jim Gaffigan, Louis C.K., etc.)

[Guest091813]

News Alert:
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!" The next morning when his wife woke up, she looked out the window to find a box… gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. . . Bob has been missing since Friday

[offshoredrilling]

[Sam54]

An older man in his early 70's walks into a drug store and approaches a beautiful young lady pharmacist at the counter and sheepishly says: " I would like one condom and a small tube of "insecticide" please"! The pharmacist grins back and says: "Sir, I think you mean "spermicide". The annoyed man now declares in a gruff voice: "NO, I MEAN INSECTICIDE!!! My wife's got a bug up her ass, and I mean to get it!!!!!

[Jon Colden]

One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband was feeling frisky, so he tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm to indicate that he wanted sex.

The wife turned over and said, “I’m sorry, dear but I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow. And I want to stay fresh.”

Dejected, the husband turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later he rolled back and whispered in her ear, “Do you have a dentist appointment, too?”

[Jon Colden]

A busy couple whose schedules allowed them to have sex only once a month bought a box of 12 condoms so they would be set for a year.

Three months later, the wife went to get one and found the box empty.

“What happened to the other 10 condoms?” she asked her husband.

He replied nervously, “Er, I masturbated with them.”

Later she shared the story with a male friend and asked, “Have you ever done that?”

“Yeah once or twice,” he told her.

“You mean you’ve actually masturbated with a condom?” she asked.

“Oh, no,” he said, “I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my wife.”

[Guest091813]

Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
*The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded."
*The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"
*The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable

[offshoredrilling]

[brutusbluto]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

hmmm is that a troll posting on eccie?