Guys have you ever just wanted to quit I thi I do but it is hard

[ItalianaPrincess]

Wow, and NO WOMEN have jumped in with their words of wisdom yet? (Hmmm...maybe they're mad that you are pondering breaking away...no more white envelope!)

James_Bond007 - First off, this "world" is a fantasy world. Most of these providers (and guys) would not open up their checkbooks to help you out if you find yourself in a real-world bind. They might say they would, but most would not actually "buck up" and do it.

It's hard, because you when you find yourself so physically connected with someone it becomes more difficult to separate/differentiate the 2 'worlds'. Especially when you consider them a friend, or possibly have feelings for them.

QUIT LISTENING TO YOUR SOUTHERN HEAD for a minute, and ask yourself this: If you could lay your head down at night peacefully (with no guilt or remorse) would you even be posting this thread?

Ultimately the decision is up to you. I know alot of friends that have "retired" from hobbying and I still consider them my friends (even though there has not been any white envelope for quite some time now) that are perfectly happy and have moved on to "real world" relationships & are doing great. We still talk, go to lunch, hang out on occasions with no BCD, and it's nice to see them happy.

Now as for myself....[QUOTE]As for the WOMEN-they have their own set of issues[/quote].....well, let's just say "It's complicated"....

I wish you the best of luck in what you decide, and would not think any less/more of you for it. No one else gets to live your life, except for YOU.


Be true to yourself & everything else will fall into place.

[txirishman]

WOW! That was a very kind offering to the Original Poster. I've never met you-but your "stock as a human being" just went WAY up in my book.

I'll be honest and candid here-there are women on HERE that I'd like to be friends with--without the BCD complications. The Dannie, for example. There are a few others as well-I just like their writing style, the way they handle themselves, and the way they express themselves.

Given that ALL human relationships are "complicated"--is it feasible to even hope that a friendship could evolve and how would one approach that WITHOUT having spent BCD time first?

Again-Italiana Princess--you ROCK! What a kind message, you're a "deeper" woman than I would have dared imagine. I hope the original poster takes some solace in your perspective. As for your own "complications"--I hear ya! Whatever they are-we all "got 'em"--for better or worse.

[TexRich]

when I leave there will be a parade matched only by the Mavs parade today....

[Da Bauce]

IP what great words of widom! I have nothing but mad respect for you stepping up to the plate and share a females point of view. I feel like I am sitting in TD Jakes on Sunday and 007 is preaching about me!!! Unfortunately This is a never ending cycle with no end in sight I will have to say that it is some what comforting to know that I am not the only one dealing with such awful demons......

Now if I could only find half the courage 007 has..... and maybe...just maybe...one day!!!

[safire_sweet]

007 I wish you the best am sorry that there is confusion between the real world and the hobby world I know you mention me in some post I never want you to be hurt i would suggest you guessed your account and just walk away like others have mentioned find a different hobby maybe even move as long as your job allows it there are great things out there.

Becoming consumed by this world is not its intentions.I as other woman you have seen wish you the best

There is no time like now guessed your account and go swimming
-Safire Sweet
***if it is a problem I suggest you take a break, some can control the thought that it is just an illusion some can not we are all human

[Guest010719-1]

I do understand how the hobby world could take over your way of thinking!! I spent half my life married to a man that was addicted to porn/spa's/strip clubs, but did not feel like he needed help I really wish he would of put his family before his addiction, but we all make our own choices! If you are not able to separate the emotional part from the physical part it will get the best of you! Sometimes I find it hard to separate the two myself in this hobby...We are human

[ItalianaPrincess]

Da Hammer - TD Jakes rocks! Do you ever listen to Freddie Haynes? What that man can preach in less than 5 minutes, grabs your soul...its amazing!

JessicaUTR & SSafire - Yes we are all human & we are genetically predisposed to constantly battle with self control. It's hard.

BTW - both of you ladies look phenomenal...and Hammer, I really hope you don't retire before the week of the 27th!


See, there goes my lack of self control again

[James_bond 007]

You know it is funny that it took the girl that got me into hobbying to open my eyes a little wider. Thanks Saifire I have tried to walk away before cold turkey but never had any backup or reason in my heart. Thank you IP for the break down thank you jessica for the warm and caring heart and finally thank you Safire who I think is the complete provider for opening my eyes and mind. You girls are the beat and are truly good human beings. This addiction I don't think you can quit that easily but it is possible. I never thought I had a problem I just thought I liked pretty girls. Well I still will like pretty girls just not act on it. I saw my first provider on my 18th birthday and now I am close to 36. This has been along time coming. The illusion has been great and the providers good and bad bless all of them. Like I sId before I am not a god freak or anything I just wanted a wAy out. I know this is possible because the last couple of days on eccie all I have looked at is the post of the people who have supported me and nothing else. Its a start for what it is worth. Thanks again all and of corse thank u Safire. Be sure to reAd my pm to you ass I try to walk away for good

You all are just good and great people


James bond

[BossyWillson]

Originally Posted by flboy65

Not to over-simplify, but I think that if I really wanted to stop, I could do so by finding another "hobby" that I'm really interested in and focusing all of my free time, energy, and disposable income on that new hobby... maybe skydiving, fishing, golf, or xyz... these other hobbies will take your time, and your money as well, maybe faster. The difference is that they are "socially acceptable", and you don't have to sneak around, or hide anything.

+1
< Gave up the Hunting, fishing, golf just to hobby...
CivGF and wives are expensive too.

There has been a time were it was not fun but if U find the right one it is a blast.

Safire A$$ets are hard to walk away from

[James_bond 007]

Amen lol but I will do it to show you guys that it can be done. Pray for me cause saifre is tempting but i wil prevail fir sure

[rachet3375]

I am in Bubbas shoes, had a void to fill and the ladies here were phenominal. The loss of my wife left me with a gaping hole where my heart used to reside and it amazed me how compassionate they all were even if it was a business arrangment. Now I have met a lady in the real world that enjoys my company and lets me talk and cry about my late wife. Our relationship has moved into a physical stage and it is my decision to be monagamous. I have truly enjoyed my time here, but this phase of my life is at an end and time to start a new one. Sorry to hijack 007s thread but this seemed an appropiate spot. I may stay in touch but probaby will not. Thanks to you all for the fond memories. Rachet

[mar6]

Reluctant to post this, but will share a moment of sheer honesty . . .

I got into this out of lust pure and simple. I never dreamed I would actually have sex with anyone other than my wife, but when I saw that "open" sign on a small dimly lit building off the highway as I was traveling years ago through Austin at 1 in the morning, I wondered what was going on in there.

Well it started for me that night with nude modeling and a handjob, then I progressed to allow BJ's and finally to all out sex. I then started doing internet searches for "prostitute," etc. which led me to ASPD. When ASPD shut down, I really tried to get out b/c I knew I had a problem and currently had no access to the girls for a while and it was a great time to stop. Needless to say, I found ECCIE and got hooked even deeper, and here we are.

007, I have wanted out for a long time but am too weak to do what it takes. I have resigned to the fact that probably the only way out for me is that eventually I will probably get caught and lose my marriage and possibly my job (I would have to tell you where I work to explain why I would get fired for infidelity).

For me it would be the Tiger Woods experience and everyone would assume that I am not sorry I did anything wrong, but rather that I'm only sorry I got caught. Nothing could be further from the truth. People that say that really have no idea what sex addicts are dealing with. I hide it well but hate myself most of the time and I hate my double life. I truly wish I could get out but I'm in so deep I am out of control. This will probably not end well . . .

[txirishman]

WOW! I appreciate your candor. I know it's easier to boast about paid sexual conquests than it is to drop the facade and be honest with others about the grip this has on you.

Anyone that doubts that THIS is an addiction-of some sort-whether recognized yet or not-need only read his post. He will HAVE to "hit bottom" before he can turn things around. Like a drug addict or alcoholic. And make no mistake-just as one can be a functioning addict or alcoholic-there are some high functioning sex addicts on the board here.

YES-and then there are "just guys" enjoying this hobby that can leave whenever they're ready. But MAR6 recognizes the man in the mirror for who and what he is--the OTHER MAR6.

So many times in our lives we sabotage ourselves, our potential success. I've often wondered-the guys that get "caught"-if they haven't set up there own "end game" to be faced with the consequences-the ultimatum. I suspect that the splintered parts of our fractured selves--the dual identities the "hobby" requires--allow some light to shine between the identities where we are neither the "addict" nor the "normal man"--and in those gaps--our subconscious chooses which "self" to sacrifice for the better of the whole. Thus the immediate frantic email to "guest my account," the hypothetical "what if" posts in the men's locker room, and other evidence that the splintering happens more often than we care to consider.

MAR6 -if you want to talk--send me a PM. You're NOT alone-I'm NOT a counselor. BUT-part of the hold that this "hobby" has on a person is that it isolates you from your real self and your support system (friends, family and co-workers). Knowing you aren't ALONE-even in a post like this, gives strength to you and maybe another.

Look at 007 and the decisions he's seem to make as a result of these posts and responses. Congratulations and best wishes to all who consider this a problem. And to the Ladies--God Bless you all for your kind considered responses.

[pyramider]

REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

[Budman]

Originally Posted by James_bond 007

Amen lol but I will do it to show you guys that it can be done. Pray for me cause saifre is tempting but i wil prevail fir sure

Good luck but you will never make it if you continually log on here. This can be an addiction and thinking that you can quit cold turkey while conversing on a SHMB is pretty naive. I have tried to quit before and have gone quite a while between visits but I stayed away from sites like this and watching porn. It only takes a little bit of temptation to fall off the wagon.