To all the married men that hobby

[Harmony<3]

Thanks i enjoyed reading your post






UOTE=Tiffani Jameson;1386712]And I'm being REAL general here and INTENTIONALLY making a blanket statement that may not be everyone's case, but the reason you guys are having these issues with your wives and girlfriends is because of the traditional relationship mess. It means that there are certain things that you won't share with her for fear of judgement. Then some of you are not marriage material, or really are loners, and only get married because of your families. Marriage is a contract, and not a guarantee of happiness. But for women, it's supposed to be. You're supposed to be a provider. And you're not into kinky sex, nor do you have any thoughts about it. You forsake all others, and only have eyes for her.

Women are more intuitive than you give them credit for being. You are more transparent than you know. Really, it's a rather depressing state of affairs for her. I'm not saying she's depressed and that's why things go downhill, but just that tradition sets expectation that humanity just doesn't live up to. Here are a couple examples:

You get married early. She's mentally ready to give herself to you. At 22, you are not. You cheat, hurt her feelings, etc. due to lack of maturity, you argue, break up, then you're back together. Repeat this pattern for a few more years, and by the time you're both 30, you've matured and ready to settle down, and she is sick of your ass. After you screwed your whore of a neighbor, although she forgave you, you didn't notice she stopped giving you BJ's. And the only time she doesn't elbow you for the 1am pole-poke is on your birthday. Where are you going to get your satisfaction?

You're not the lovey-dovey type. Really, you just want to be left alone. When you get home, you just want to surf the net, watch the game, play Call of Duty, eat and go to bed. She's saying something to you about her day, how the lady down the street said something smart. Whatever it is, you wish she'd shut up. She used to dress up in the cute lingerie, and parade around the house, and in front of the TV (while the fucking game is on. Damn woman!) and try to distract you from COD with a massage and kisses on your neck, but that's stopped. Now after 20 years, you're horny and she's on strike. What're you gonna do?

Trust me, the wives have it way worse than we do. They're crossed between loving your dirty drawers and being too hurt to care like she used to. Like most people, we're only aware of how people treat us. We don't consider what we did to make it that way. You did something, you don't think she knows, and she does.

Harmony, it's a rarity for a man to find a woman he can be totally honest with about who he is, what he wants, and his intentions. We are their confidantes. They may not talk about childhood mommy issues, or things like that, but they need the time they share with us. Take that into consideration when you meet someone. Being the thing that's missing.[/QUOTE]

[sofiaofhouston]

OMG! Just screw who you want to and get it over with! Tell if you want to, don't if you don't! Just DO IT!

[Harmony<3]

Again sofia ur nutz, go post in the spider whole, unless u have a genuine comment leave u sarcasm out.



QUOTE=sofiaofhouston;1387021]OMG! Just screw who you want to and get it over with! Tell if you want to, don't if you don't! Just DO IT![/QUOTE]

[1of3500]

Harmony;
You should talk to your future husband about all this, perhaps with a counselor too. This is all stuff you should work through before you start your lives together. Also, keep talking as you continue your lives together. That is a real problem with a lot marriages that don't work out. I hope God blesses your lives together in a wonderfull way.

[1of3500]

By the way, Sofia, Capernicus called.....you're NOT the center of the universe.

You're in another country now and yet here you are.....populating THIS board...hmmmm.

[Harmony<3]

Originally Posted by 1of3500

Harmony;
You should talk to your future husband about all this, perhaps with a counselor too. This is all stuff you should work through before you start your lives together. Also, keep talking as you continue your lives together. That is a real problem with a lot marriages that don't work out. I hope God blesses your lives together in a wonderfull way.

U point out another good question, so what should i be doing for him so that our relationship stays in good standings, hes a very understanding man. Wht should i know before making a lifetime commitment

[sofiaofhouston]

Your asking a question only YOU have the answer to.

[Harmony<3]

Originally Posted by sofiaofhouston

Your asking a question only YOU have the answer to.

Truebut it doesnt hurt to ask the guys that have been/r married for advice, from a guys perspective

[1of3500]

Originally Posted by Harmony<3

U point out another good question, so what should i be doing for him so that our relationship stays in good standings, hes a very understanding man. Wht should i know before making a lifetime commitment

Again, sit down and talk together about all this. What you should always do for him, and this is based on being in a failed marriage and divorced after 25 years, is talk. Tell him how you feel. My parents were married for over 50 years, and they stopped whatever they were doing every night and kissed and hugged, then went back to what they were doing. And they always, always talked. So communication is the key. There is too much to answer here in this setting. Get some pre-marital counseling and talk all this out. Things will change over the years, but keep on communicating.

[K2S0]

Originally Posted by Harmony<3

U point out another good question, so what should i be doing for him so that our relationship stays in good standings, hes a very understanding man. Wht should i know before making a lifetime commitment

you can try as hard you can to make sure that your relationship will always be in good standing...
but you'll find that that is a difficult if not impossible thing to do... no matter what you do... there
are going to be times where shit hits the fan and you will fight and argue and hate eachother....

a lot of relationships fail because people weren't right for each other to begin with and statistically
speaking half of the ones that get married will end up getting divorced anyway

but even after saying that, and knowing it to mostly be true i'm not a cynic when it comes to love....

I am a romantic at heart and do believe that you should always try to make your relationship a happy one..
I do believe that love is about feeding your lover the breakfast you just made in bed, or surprising her out
of the blue with chocolates and flowers for no other reason than to show her you care. and looking into each
others eyes and not being able to stop from smiling... call me a hopeless romantic sucker... i dont care...

i believe it...

but bottom line is this.... The people who are truly right for each other aren't always blissfully happy, it isn't
all rose colored fun 24/7... no... they wade through the exact same shit that everyone else does.. But the
difference is that they don't let it bring them down... when shit happens, if that relationship is right, one of them
will fight for it every time

I'm not married but that's the best advice i can give

[boardman]

Originally Posted by Big Joe

Fixed it for ya

Finally, someone understands me!

[Big Joe]

Lol

[Eccie Addict]

Here's my 2 cents.... y'all knew it was comin' lol


Two of the hardest things you'll ever try to do perfect is marriage and raising a child. Those are two of the hardest things you will ever do in this life. While it's good to get other's perspective on things the only perspective that really matters is the man you choose to spend your life with. Even he can't answer your question right now because he isn't in that situation right now. That's why that unconditional committment that comes with marriage is so important. If you can actually stand by that committment then your marriage has a strong potential to stand the test of time.

Communnication is key. It's probably the most important above all else. You need to be willing to talk and listen. Don't point fingers, even if you are the one that is right. That will keep the other persons gaurd down and they will be willing to listen. If you don't know how to communnicate then I suggest you learn, start today. If he doesn't then he better learn as well. As someone else stated previously, seeing a counselor would be a good thing. Just because you choose to see a couselor doesn't mean something is wrong. Also if you do decide to see one then remember, it doesn't do any good to see one if you aren't willing to be honest and put it all on the table. Being emotionally stable is extremely important when deciding to spend your life with someone and a good way to make sure that you both are is to see someone.

Wish you all the best

[Valerie]

I've not read the whole thread, just the initial post so my apologies if someone's already said this.....

LADIES....THIS HOBBY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE!...Women take it so personal, it's just sex, human nature, we are all programmed to want it. I just recently wrote this on my blog...

To the married ladies...
This is for all the married women out there. I realize you are not exactly my target audience, but I’m writing this anyways.

So, about 85% of my clients are married, I am naturally very inquisitive and am always trying to learn men’s reasoning for seeing an escort. I do always ask if they’re married, and why they choose to see an escort, 99.9% of the time it’s the same response. Their wives have either stopped having any type of sexual relationship with them, or the ones who actually do still have somewhat of a sex life aren’t satisfied because their partner is too vanilla, has let herself go, isn’t interested, or refuses to perform certain acts. Now, hearing this never ceases to amaze me. There are some men whose wives have not had sex with them for 5-10 years, which baffles me. I’m sorry but that is not acceptable, if you are a woman and you have refused to have any type of sexual relations with your partner in years, and you honestly think your mate is being faithful, you’re a fucking idiot. We are all human, and it is within our nature to want sex, especially men, and there’s NOTHING wrong with that, so to think a man is going to be faithful to you if you are refusing him sex is simply an absolute mad and unrealistic expectation.

Oh but wait, your husband loves you and would never cheat!, right??...WRONG. You see contrary to what you ladies think, this has nothing to do with love, or lack thereof. Men don’t see an escort to find love, so you cannot categorize the two. The married gentleman I see very much love their wives & families. In fact, when I ask, they are usually happy in all other aspects of their marriage, except sex. The sad part is that the majority of these men are horrified of their wives finding out in fear of them leaving..... So you would leave your husband for seeing an escort because YOU (who should be the one having sex with him) refuse to have sex with him, and YOU are the one denying/ignoring his sexual needs, (which mind you are NATURAL)??? That’s completely selfish…. While you would think it okay to break up your family and probably think it’s completely justifiable, have you ever thought that one of the reasons your husband sees an escort is so he DOESN’T break up his family? That’s right, trust me I’ve saved a lot of marriages. They come to me discretely, to get what they are lacking from YOU, then they leave, happy and satisfied, go home to their families and all is well. Bottom line here, all of us, men and women, are going to do what we want. So if you’re unwilling to give it up, they will find sex elsewhere, perhaps not always at first, but eventually they will. So now I’m going to throw out some options to you. Which do you prefer?

1). Your husband sees an escort 1-2 times a month, no serious emotions involved, has no reason to leave his family, and continues to be a good husband and father.

2). Your husband takes a mistress, in which case emotions will become involved for both parties, and could potentially result in him leaving you for someone whom he can get satisfaction in all ways from.

3). You leave your husband for seeing an escort, go through a messy divorce, children are upset, and you’re all alone.

Don’t see any options you fancy? Here’s an idea, go fuck your husband, and if you still can’t even be bothered to do that, then you are in no place to get pissed off if he gets it from someone else.

[Eccie Addict]

Valerie.... remember, you are only getting one side of the story there. I'm pretty sure that if you talked to the wife you might view things a little diiferently. If they are willing to lie to their wife, who they love very much, do you think they won't tell you everything?