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Old 04-19-2010, 09:53 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill View Post
Until she goes shopping for Italian shoes, French clothing and Scottish whiskey
Well, that's a good point.

But at least those countries don't support people who want to blow us up!
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Old 04-19-2010, 03:57 PM   #32
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When you look back at all the money you've spent on women, do you regret it?
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Originally Posted by CaptainMidnight View Post
Nope. Not a bit. Worth every penny.

(Of course, in some isolated instances I felt that I wasted my money. But I'm speaking of the overall experience.)
Word CM!

I only regret the money I spent on song (I can't sing worth a damn!) The money spent on wine and women was a good investment.

Now if you want to talk German autos...
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Old 04-19-2010, 04:18 PM   #33
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I only regret the money I spent on song (I can't sing worth a damn!)
Give me $1K some night and I'll tell you you're good at that too.
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Old 04-19-2010, 06:06 PM   #34
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Give me $1K some night and I'll tell you you're good at that too.
Sorry bub, but you ain't my type.
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:33 PM   #35
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So how many gals do you have lined up for this week?
Granted it is easier to laugh at the infamous than to be one. I still laugh at and deride those more infamous than myself in spite of my experience. It is only natural. Just remember not to bitch and moan should you find your own google search pages more than embarrassing. Like stupid, it can't be fixed.

As noted - for $1000 women will tell you anything they can figure you want to hear even if it is a lie. For 99% of men that is enough or they don't care either way. Few genuinely want to hear they are not good lovers when they are footing the bill. But how many women asked you if she was a good lover (to you), listened and responded in earnest? Key word lover. Not porn star, girlfriend, handjob or blowjob expert, ABCD LMNOP expert or whatever the fuck those things mean.

Either way you got to the right answer. I haven't had physical contact in a long time. Every so often I go looking. If I can remember a month later who I found, why she will be different, and what exactly is different than before, then I send an email. I am always wrong. I do save a ton of money at least.

Asking people if they have regrets is like asking if they masturbate. There are those who do and those who lie about it. Present company excepted, of course. Of course nowdays it is popular to talk about it but that wasn't always the case. Not a lot different with regrets.
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Old 04-19-2010, 10:16 PM   #36
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As noted - for $1000 women will tell you anything they can figure you want to hear even if it is a lie.
That's atrocious. I don't say things I don't mean - for any price. My time and talents may be for sale but my self respect is certainly not.
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Old 04-20-2010, 02:50 AM   #37
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That's atrocious. I don't say things I don't mean - for any price. My time and talents may be for sale but my self respect is certainly not.
I have no doubt that what you are saying is the absolute truth.

Cynicism, as you know, is a defense mechanism deployed to protect the cynic from feelings emanating from disappointment, rejection, etc.

As you also know; likely for evolutionary reasons, our bad experiences tend to make a stronger impression than our good ones.

Guys who say things like that are expressing cynicism -- very likely in response to experiences of disappointment where they paid a lady and she lied.

Overcoming such cynicism is difficult because it exists for a reason -- to protect the cynic.

As far as I know, the only way to effectively override it is to give the cynic enough reliable and repeatable positive experiences that a cognitive dissonance is created between those experiences and his attitudes; plus a push to help resolve that dissonance in favor of the experiences.

Like I said, I have no doubt that you have stated the absolute truth. And the providers I have seen have been much like you in that respect. Thus I have largely escaped becoming too cynical. However; it only takes a few rotten apples to spoil the barrel and they can create entrenched attitudes that are difficult to override.

Or, to give you the executive summary: the fact that your behavior might in all respects be exemplary and beyond reproach does not mean that others live up to your standards. Cynical defense mechanisms exist for a reason, unfortunately.
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Old 04-20-2010, 07:52 AM   #38
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Or, to give you the executive summary: the fact that your behavior might in all respects be exemplary and beyond reproach does not mean that others live up to your standards. Cynical defense mechanisms exist for a reason, unfortunately.
It's not just cynical - it perpetuates a horrible stereotype on a downtrodden class. It's about as civilized as "Jews are cheap" or "n****** steal".

It's hateful and vile.
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Old 04-20-2010, 09:59 AM   #39
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It's not just cynical - it perpetuates a horrible stereotype on a downtrodden class.
Yep...I think he just said (albeit, more eloquently and less obvious)..."Hookers will do or say anything for $1K...just not you, Lauren...you're the exception".

How quaint.
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:16 AM   #40
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Yep...I think he just said (albeit, more eloquently and less obvious)..."Hookers will do or say anything for $1K...just not you, Lauren...you're the exception".

How quaint.

That's OK, at this point he could say we are all a bunch of sociopaths heading straight to hell.I am just grateful that his posts are getting shorter
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:23 AM   #41
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i think we all look it at in a way that justifies our actions. No different from paying for cigarettes and alcohol for a month. Those purchases add up as well. We are often told that we cannot take the money with us when we die, so spend it and enjoy it now. I am sure one who has hobbied 20years has a few coins invested in the game.

I second the regret on the wasted time and money with folks in past that did not work out. Or business ventures that I tried and failed. Either way, these are life long moments that will stick with you. Key to living life is to live it at is best, in entirety and to the fullest.
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:35 AM   #42
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Default You know, Becky

You know, there are alternative explanations for the same behavior.

Have you ever run across a recently divorced woman who declared that men suck?

Do you think there might be other explanations for her behavior besides her just being an automatically mean and hateful person? Or do you think her experiences might have colored her perceptions?

Even if her perception is incorrect and many men would find it hateful and vile; it doesn't mean she is an incipient Nazi. She may simply be someone who has been hurt.

I know this is a bit of a stretch; but sometimes men get hurt too. And it causes them to develop attitudes similar to the one in my example.

Are the attitudes right and good? No they are not. Are they vile and hateful? Yes, they are.

But if you can see that the attitudes just MIGHT (I'm not saying they do in all cases, but they MIGHT) originate in earlier pain; you can see a solution to them.

Yes, one solution is just to stand up on a soap box and loudly declare the guy to be awful and evil. And then bash the crap out of him and publicly shame him into silence. Intimidation can and does work to silence a public statement.

But it doesn't change the underlying attitude.

You, Lauren and I do not substantively differ on the idea that the sentiment expressed is hateful and vile.

Where we differ is that I believe that public shaming is of minimal use in changing actual attitudes; whereas addressing the cause of those attitudes IS.

Now, reasonable people may reasonably differ on that.

But I really don't appreciate your quick rush to judgment.

Let's try this. Why don't you try, by default, to accept the POSSIBILITY that I am a kind and decent person.

Work from THAT as a starting point instead of thinking I'm here to bash you or perpetuate evil; and I think you'll find your initial judgments of me startlingly incorrect.

And -- for the record, just to make things extremely crystal clear.

My earliest occupation after getting my first PhD was as a MERCENARY. That is, someone who destroyed whomever he was pointed at in exchange for MONEY. Nowadays, we use polite euphemisms. "Military Contractor" or "Private Military Company." But the effect is the same. A person who takes up arms -- not for patriotism necessarily, but for dollars.

Now, HOPEFULLY you will not be hateful and vile and stereotype me because of that.

But my POINT is that I am in NO POSITION to be judging you to be a sociopath except based on how you treat me.
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:52 AM   #43
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It's not just cynical - it perpetuates a horrible stereotype on a downtrodden class. It's about as civilized as "Jews are cheap" or "n****** steal".

It's hateful and vile.
Oh BullShit. EVERYone lies sometimes. Some for money, some for kindness, some because its habit.

To say you NEVER lie is a lie. Or an example of a cruel person because there ARE times that it is most kind to lie. Or someone so delusional that they convince themselves what they say is always true because not to be able to say the truth creates some kind of conflict internally.

As a sidenote (and in the interest of honesty), I have been guilty of the latter. In order that my life match the sincerity that I felt was integral to who I was, I convinced myself of things that in retrospect simply aren't true. I DIDN"T love sex whether it was good or not. I loved helping someone, I loved making money in a relatively easy way - but no, I didn't always love the sex.

Bad sex is bad sex and I won't convince myself of something different. Its kind of nice to know that. I may lie to someone to save his feelings*, but I don't lie to myself anymore. Bad sex sucks. Getting paid for bad sex made it a nicer experience.

* I always gave someone the opportunity to be a better lover, but as a male friend pointed out - most men aren't particularly interested in GETTING better. They would ask and they would want to be good. But typically only want to be good exactly how they already do it. But I'd give it the old freshman try to every new lover. But over time (and a myriad of lovers), experience showed me that most men want to be good lovers, but don't want to learn or change to become that. Which means they don't really give a shit about being good lovers, the desire to be a good lover is tyically ego driven for men. So, I decided to enjoy building up a persons ego. Which is pleasurable, but vastly different than good sex.
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:55 AM   #44
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I don't think you quite understand that like blacks, immigrants, homosexuals and women before us (and still fighting to this day) - we are mired in a battle for equal rights, to gain a place in our society as equals not trash to be jailed and ostracized.

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Have you ever run across a recently divorced woman who declared that men suck?
Yes, and that doesn't make her behaviour excusable, nor the above statement any less horrible. I'm just as disgusted by women who believe "Men suck" as I am by racists, prejudice and bigotry in all it's forms.

No sympathy from me in mistreated and degrading a whole class of people.

I stated no opinion of you in this thread, I only addressed the awful statement made.
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Old 04-20-2010, 10:56 AM   #45
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Hi Laurentius, I do believe that we all make the choice in our lives to focus on the negative, or the positive.I am not saying that you should completely ignore your negative experiences,but why not just learn, and grow from them, and move on.

I have no problem with anyone expressing their concerns about this lifestyle, or any other for that matter.It is the constant beating of a dead hoarse in an attempt to bully people in to agreeing with you that bothers me.There have been many people here who have offered you great advice on the concerns that you have brought up, but if you are not open to hearing any of it that is when it can get a little frustating for some.

In my life I try to surround myself with what is positive.Life ts too short to constantly focus on all that sucks out there.

Sorry Lauren I did not mean to take your thread off the topic.
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