Wrong for denying client?

[lookingood]

It's your toys he wants to play with so you make the rules. He plays nice or it's game over for him....ijs

[PleasantSurprise]

A few things jump out to me in your post. I want to address each of them, but I want you first to know that I don't think you were in the wrong. We all have the right to deny any client out there. I don't think you were in the wrong. With that said…

I would have probably met with the client, because 45 minutes is better than 0 minutes. Do I want 45 minutes with the potential of him staying 2 hours, or is the length of the appointment so important to me that I end up spending no time at all with someone interested in putting money in my hands.

The length of time a person has been a member shouldn't have too much of an impact. Any person can join a site and write reviews. Even those who have been a member for a long time and with several reviews. Reviews can be written even when no date actually occurred, depending on if the reviewer is sly or gets caught.

The review that he did write, if it were good or bad, I wouldn't worry about it only because it was about someone else, it wasn't about me. The client could have met with any girl out there, and his date might be good or bad, but his experience with her shouldn't come into play unless you observe he is seeking activities which you don't enjoy.

The other thing is, always make sure to ask for references. I know you indicated he only had one review on here, but perhaps he frequents another board or could email you directly the contact info for providers who would vouch for him. Always ask for as much screening info as you need to feel safe.

I always recommend going with your gut. If you considered him as someone who might cause physical harm or cancel, those are reason enough to decline a date. But if it's a client interested in 45 minutes and potentially 2 hours, I would prefer that type of client over clients who say I only want 45 minutes and that's it. Him saying potentially up to 2 hours means he would likely have extra money available for spending on you. Make sure to inform him of both rates so he can know ahead of time.

If a review gets posted when a date didn't actually occur, there are steep penalties on here. If anything, the client would share his experience in one of the forums. These can be looked at negatively, or it can be an opportunity for you to have a voice; and rather than disputing whatever he says, just indicate what others can do to avoid being in his shoes.

One thing you might consider, and this is entirely up to you, but if his threat to review is result of him being angry that you wasted his time, what if you were to just apologize for wasting his time? Without justifying what you did, without any dispute, just say something to him like… "I apologize for wasting your time." And make sure to not include any if's, and's, or but's when sending the text or email.

Always make things as simple as possible. Guys have enough hassle in their personal life, at work and at home if they're married. When they contact us, they want it to be stress free and easy. Not to confuse easy with relaxed screening, but easy as in a smooth process.

With all this said, I don't agree with him threatening to write a bad review, but some of us do stupid things when we're angry. Outside of the bad review comment he made, was he rude in any other areas along the way?

I hope this post/reply is taken as nothing more than an additional perspective to consider. Good luck!

[19Trees]

Nikki White

Your growing popularity and glowing reviews should be helpful in getting enough appointment requests from reputable Members. Together with repeat meetings with existing friends you shouldn't have to see the marginal ones. Require either (or both) minimum of 3 reviews and 3 provider OK's on p411. If your spidey senses tingle be short, polite and hang up and don't reply to texts or calls. Use the Infoshare. Collaborate with other providers most pleased to help and often reply quicker than expected! Austin mods are helpful and supportive trio too.

Trees was delighted to meet you on Independence/Independent's Day in Austin you will be popular around here and most everywhere with best wishes for good health, luck and fortune.

19Trees

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

A few things jump out to me in your post. I want to address each of them, but I want you first to know that I don't think you were in the wrong. We all have the right to deny any client out there. I don't think you were in the wrong. With that said…

I would have probably met with the client, because 45 minutes is better than 0 minutes. Do I want 45 minutes with the potential of him staying 2 hours, or is the length of the appointment so important to me that I end up spending no time at all with someone interested in putting money in my hands.

Firstly, a lady has the right to screen for chemistry. His entitled response to that question says a lot about his character. Secondly, he should NOT be allowed to monopolize her time. Do you know if she had anything else to do afterwards? No. He should have booked an hour and asked her THEN if she had the ability to extend the appointment.

She should have been more firmer in her approach. Some of these guys prey on the DESPERATE. Apparently she wasn't going to get her money up front on a first time meeting. She would have allowed him to fool her with the HOPES of a two hour appointment, there's no telling how far he would've gone with this. It's good she didn't see him.

The length of time a person has been a member shouldn't have too much of an impact. Any person can join a site and write reviews. Even those who have been a member for a long time and with several reviews. Reviews can be written even when no date actually occurred, depending on if the reviewer is sly or gets caught.

Agreed, and it's up to her to set her ground rules. It is and will always be HER show, and if she doesn't make that clear to anyone, there will be more situations like this.

The other thing is, always make sure to ask for references. I know you indicated he only had one review on here, but perhaps he frequents another board or could email you directly the contact info for providers who would vouch for him. Always ask for as much screening info as you need to feel safe.

Again agreed, but references aren't always reliable. Her interaction with him was enough to give her the right direction. Your next bit of advice is the cherry on top.

I always recommend going with your gut. If you considered him as someone who might cause physical harm or cancel, those are reason enough to decline a date. But if it's a client interested in 45 minutes and potentially 2 hours, I would prefer that type of client over clients who say I only want 45 minutes and that's it. Him saying potentially up to 2 hours means he would likely have extra money available for spending on you. Make sure to inform him of both rates so he can know ahead of time.

Darling physical harm is not the only kind of harm that can be done. Dealing with jerks like that for ANY amount of time makes us burn out very fast. If that's the case, he should have booked the two hour appointment, respected her time, and if he had to leave early, that would have been on him.

One thing you might consider, and this is entirely up to you, but if his threat to review is result of him being angry that you wasted his time, what if you were to just apologize for wasting his time? Without justifying what you did, without any dispute, just say something to him like… "I apologize for wasting your time." And make sure to not include any if's, and's, or but's when sending the text or email.

Darling, we don't negotiate with terrorists. We don't repent to men. And who the fuck is he? GOD? He can get his monkey ass on with that. He runs nothing but his mouth. You can tell when a man has a vendetta against a woman. This is the reason screening for chemistry is important. People who try to make women feel that they are at the whim of assholes with a few bucks in their pocket shouldn't be able to buy puss- er, time.

Always make things as simple as possible. Guys have enough hassle in their personal life, at work and at home if they're married. When they contact us, they want it to be stress free and easy. Not to confuse easy with relaxed screening, but easy as in a smooth process.

Very true, and how they deal with that stress says a lot about them. Some men take it out on others when they're stressed. Some men assume that because a woman is in this industry, she's an easy target. It's up to her to prove these men wrong.

With all this said, I don't agree with him threatening to write a bad review, but some of us do stupid things when we're angry. Outside of the bad review comment he made, was he rude in any other areas along the way?

Isn't him threatening her ENOUGH? Why would we deal with a man who is so childish when he's angry? What ELSE should she allow him to do?

I hope this post/reply is taken as nothing more than an additional perspective to consider. Good luck!

BTW, brown nosing gets you no points with these guys. Respect yourself, and others will respect you. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't cast your pearls among swine.

Any of this stuff sound familiar?

@Mr. Trees. I agree with you to a point. But being a hobbyist doesn't make you the 'right choice' either. You guys review ANYONE sometimes, even girls that don't know they have reviews, or don't screen AT ALL, so that still doesn't make one legitimate. Her screening should be developed to a point where she should be able to see anyone who approaches her correctly and is willing to be screened and make her comfortable.

My only advice for her would be to continue to use your gut. Make a list of what you need from these gents to be a healthy, happy companion, and don't compromise. Be more firm in your rules, and anyone who doesn't follow them gets a no.

[PleasantSurprise]

Tiffany, looking at your reply above... My post seems to have ruffled your feathers.

Strange, considering it wasn't even directed at you. However...

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

BTW, brown nosing gets you no points with these guys.

I'm not sure if being a bitch does either.

I prefer the optimistic approach.
You seem to prefer the pessimistic approach.

We all, individually make the choice to highlight the pro's or con's.
I look at a situation from a neutral position.
You look at situations from a worst case scenario.

I know you read the words, but did you hear anything I said in my post? I know you've been fairly busy arguing your position. I wasn't sure if you stepped back long enough to consider a perspective other than your own.

You might consider adding narrow-minded to your profile so people can know what to expect.

I believe being so stuck in one's own way of thinking is what holds a person back most in life. Some people are so closed minded that they can't see out of their own little box, so they sit forever in this box, never stepping outside of it.

Maybe one of these days you'll pause long enough to let a perspective other than your own soak in before critiquing.

[Tiffani Jameson]

I saw your point, and you seem like a sweetheart. One that deals with losers on a daily basis. If being a bitch keeps ME happy, healthy, sane, and PAID, I'll be a bitch all day long. And I'll clue you in on something: men love women who love themselves. Coming across as a pushover only invites trouble..

I read your words, and you really sound desperate. I see you, putting your feelers out there for sugardaddy's on a hooker board. Thinking that the OP should be as desperate as you and take an appointment from a guy who threatens her if he doesn't get his way. AND apologize! And you're the ONLY provider that makes it known that she negotiates her rates. Makes me sad for you.

I only hope you find a sugardaddy before you burn out.

[PleasantSurprise]

You have a good point. If being a bitch is what keeps Tiffani sane, then by all means don't let me stop you.

How insane it would be for anyone to change their ways based on something little ol' PleasantSurprise recommends, that would just be ludicrous. Everyone should be turning to Tiffani.

Tiffani, I agree that you might know better than most of us at how to deal with losers. You win. I don't deal with them on a daily basis to know the proper technique. You however, you have made it clear on how to deal with them, providing us with all the answers anyone could ever ask for. I'm jumping for joy that you and I have crossed paths. I personally give you the "dealing with losers" award. I'll send you a PDF for you to print off and frame. You just, know it all. Me, I haven't dealt with enough of them, but now I know who I should be turning to for… sound advice. I had your mentality when I was 18. But you, you've reached 18 for the second time. You advertise 36 which means you are probably really closer to 40, don't you think it's time to grow up? You crack me up.

I have been called a pushover and desperate before. I have also been called a very intelligent and wise woman. Both sides of the list seem to be growing. Clients add to one side, while providers add to the other side.

Your turn Tiffani. This is fun!

[Tiffani Jameson]

No, that's my real age. I have the looks of an 18 year old, but not the mentality of one. I'm glad my wisdom can be of use to you in this life, since that's what it's there for. Feel free to print my posts out as needed for future reference.

Honestly, I don't have a problem with you. You know that wouldn't have been either of us starting this thread. You have a two hour minimum, and in no form or fashion would a man telling you that he may be there for 45 minutes or 2 hours would get away with that without paying your minimum. Of course, you're like, 'sure, no problem'. But you know that wasn't the case. You didn't put yourself in her shoes. If you were her, you wouldn't do the same thing.

And I'm sure you've been called both. I don't think you're dumb. You have this 'tame the savage beast' thing going. There is a wisdom to every way of looking at things. But there is a time and place for all forms of wisdom.

Darling, I don't know who you are. I don't know if you're a provider that's rebranded herself, since you have no presence other than your website, or if you're one of these guys on here that have female personalities. But you're the one who seems to not take criticism well. Just because I had something to say about your sad attempt to brown nose the clients of ECCIE doesn't mean that you and I can't be friends.

The difference between you and me is that I can admit when I'm wrong.

[PleasantSurprise]

I just clicked print. Ten points for Tif.

You love me. You like a challenge. Most providers probably don't dispute you. If the OP didn't offer 45 minute dates, she should have stood her grounds, however, it seems to me she chose to continue her conversation with the client. Luckily, not my problem. I'm still searching for one provider other than myself who has put herself in the clients shoes.

[Tiffani Jameson]

And you're right. I do love you.

Opposition is the least of my worry. And you really didn't dispute me. You said nothing of my rebuttal other than the part where I addressed you personally.

As far as ladies who put herself in the client's shoes, they're here. Had it been him here first, he would have just said she was a flake or worse, everyone would have believed him, and her reputation would have been damaged. She would have to show mods messages and prove her case before anyone would see her, and even then she would scare off some guys because of the drama surrounding her.

But the fact is, she does offer dates under an hour. And while she should have been firm in her business practices, that still doesn't give him the right to play her. Not your problem, but as a woman I sympathize with her, and offer the only advice I can to help something like this not happen again.

There are certain types of clientele that are drawn to ladies new to the industry strictly to give them this frame of mind. There's a lot of that going on, hence the reason she posed the question. But then again, we're talking apples and oranges in both companions and clients.

What's not easy to find is a woman that hasn't dove head first into this life thinking about all the cash that she was going to make, and not about the sacrifices to herself taking place. When a woman is self aware, she can then focus on the client. It's like loving someone else before loving yourself. Outside of your children, it never works out well.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

You have a good point. If being a bitch is what keeps Tiffani sane, then by all means don't let me stop you.

How insane it would be for anyone to change their ways based on something little ol' PleasantSurprise recommends, that would just be ludicrous. Everyone should be turning to Tiffani.

Tiffani, I agree that you might know better than most of us at how to deal with losers. You win. I don't deal with them on a daily basis to know the proper technique. You however, you have made it clear on how to deal with them, providing us with all the answers anyone could ever ask for. I'm jumping for joy that you and I have crossed paths. I personally give you the "dealing with losers" award. I'll send you a PDF for you to print off and frame. You just, know it all. Me, I haven't dealt with enough of them, but now I know who I should be turning to for… sound advice. I had your mentality when I was 18. But you, you've reached 18 for the second time. You advertise 36 which means you are probably really closer to 40, don't you think it's time to grow up? You crack me up.

I have been called a pushover and desperate before. I have also been called a very intelligent and wise woman. Both sides of the list seem to be growing. Clients add to one side, while providers add to the other side.

Your turn Tiffani. This is fun!

I don't know you, and since you are in the KC area I likely never will--I don't get out that way very often. But I did notice that you signed up a bit under three months ago. I will offer you some free advice--which I am guessing you will quickly dispense with. That is your prerogative.

There are a lot of folks on here who take this place quite lightly. They rarely post anything deep and weighty. Absolutely nothing wrong with that--this is after all an anonymous board for people to kill time on and relax a bit.

There are also a few who delight in being snide, nit-picky, and negative. They contribute little, but so long as you stay out of the back alleys on here they mostly snipe at each other.

Then there are a few who over the years have demonstrated that they are worth reading and paying attention to because they post far more wisdom that the average lady or gent. It doesn't mean they are always right, but they are right far more often than not. And raking your claws at them will do very little to help your reputation. Tiffany is one of those wise folks. She usually responds well to reasoned difference of opinion, it might work better for you. You might discover you don't know quite as much about this world as you think you do..Just a thought.

[Valerie]

Originally Posted by NikkiWhite

So im trying to set an appointment earlier and dude seems nice enough but hits me with my.pet.peeve! He doesnt know how long he wants to stay and will decide when he gets here
Anywhere from 45min to two hours. Which to me is is usually a sign he's going to go.for the ahorter session and wants priority because he "might" stay longer lol. Then i check out stats hes only been a member for a month and has given one review which was a bad one. I tell him i cant schedule with him and he kinda freaks lol. Am i wrong for denying a client with one review when I'm constantly catching flak for only having one myself?

You wouldn't be wrong for denying him even if he had 50 reviews and loads of references because at the end of the day, this is YOUR business, YOUR body, and most importantly, YOUR rules... Don't ever let any of the fucktards tell you different or make you feel guilty. See you who want, when you want, and answer to no one.

[PleasantSurprise]

I might be the only person that does this, but I personally do my best to start at the beginning of a mess before dissecting it.

The beginning, where Tiffani and I first crossed paths, is post #34 in this thread. What I typed is in black. What Tiffani had to add is in magenta. This is where the mess between her and I started.

Old-T, here is my question to you:
Can you rewind to post #34 and let me know what I could have done differently or what Tiffani could have done differently to avoid things getting to where they did/are?

This will help Tiffani and I both realize where this mess started.

I appreciate your previous response and I look forward to your response to the question above as well.

Thanks

[Old-T]

Pleasant,

I did read from the beginning before posting. I usually try to though on some longer posts it is difficult if there are 100 or so posts in a short time. As you asked, I went back and reread the whole thread, including post #34. Personally I saw nothing wrong with your post at #32 or Tiffany's at #34--to me they were people having different views, likely based upon different experiences and expectations. #s 35 & 36 started slipping towards a bit ruffled, and from #37 on it turned hostile.

But then that's just my view of things, and the implied body language & tone I read into them. That's one of the difficult things about an board, the other in-person clues about tone are missing.

[PleasantSurprise]

That makes sense.

Do you think a wise person would know if their post is likely to be construed as snarky?