HONOR is it dead or on vaction

[Marcus Aurelius]

Very nice boobs.........Mam.

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I find it kind of funny that the thread starter's stated age is 19...

Whether the poster's age is 19 or 99 one must be treated with respect. From a younger perspective if I appear at the door with a handful of roses and/or compliments, it is the approach that is most important. I'll try to present myself with flowers and an attitude of "yes, I find you hot enough to spend extra liquidity with you." And should it happen that electricity of two individuals finding *lust* in the spirit of the moment. To be honest I live for that *moment* whether artificial or actual.

[Guest050715-1]

I was assuming she was kidding about the Obama comment. Seriously, there is a complete deterioration of manners and common politeness. Whatever happened to sitting up straight; chewing with your mouth closed; holding the door for someone; opening a lady’s door; eating dinner together; not having your Gameboy on if you are managing to eat dinner together; and on and on and on.

My daughter was raised to say ma’am and sir; she was raised to have a good work ethic; and she was raised to be gracious. My ex-husband and I actually got into an argument once because I was instructing our daughter that to do whatever it was graciously. He said I was trying to raise her to be a silly Southern belle. No! I raised her to be kind and considerate to others; after all, manners and “polite” behavior are just small gestures to make others feel good and to maintain civility.

Someone mentioned women want to be treated like executives and princesses. Women can be lady-like and still be business professionals. In fact the surest way to get treated like an object was to be one of the guys and not be lady-like. For example, I dressed to accentuate my figure but no deep cleavage, tons of leg, overly tight clothing, too much perfume, etc. I firmly believe in light, social flirting, but I didn’t engage in sexual banter. How are men supposed to view women as equals if we are constantly reminding them of what is south of our bellybuttons?

[Guest083011]

Dear Oliva, et al:

You are correct in how you brought up your daughter. It has nothing to do with being a "belle" or otherwise it is "manners." If the other person is a male or female, I treat them right. "Ma'am" or "sir" is appropriate regardless of stature. If I do not know a client, it will be Mister or Misses "so-an-so" not John or Betty. I want them to correct me and say "please call me 'John' or 'Betty.'" Until they do that, I will speak of the formal of "Mr." or "Mrs." I know I am "old school," but us "Yankees" do that to do the right thing (trying to dispel other myths).

[am-a-pleaser]

Happy Birthday Chelsea!

ATLComedy mentioned the workplace. I agree. I've met many women in the workplace who see a man's courtesy as chauvinistic. Seems like they have something to prove. They seem to carry that attitude over into their private life. Since men and women work together, I think the men get conditioned away from courtesies.

One particular time, a woman I worked was trying to carry many heavy cases to her car. When I offerred to help her carry them, she called me a chauvinist. So i let her carry them all. Her hands were now full. So I opened the office door, she angrily glared at me. I would have done the same things had it been a guy.

I've learned some people appreciate common courtesies. Some ladies appreciate chivalry. Some people honor their word and are honorable people. Unfortunately, others are not. Some have manners, others don't.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by chelsea simms

I know its hard to believe there are still a few folks out there whose word means something to them, but I swear I saw five or six this past week, they seem to be a little ragged around the edges and some of the comments that come out of their mouths even though the truth, are embarrasing. They still run to carry a package for a lady or open the door. My question is what happened in the world to change all this ?? Was it war, or did Obama cancel it. What brought about the decline of the decent and honorable parts of our existance

The more I read about history, the more I think we look back with rose tinted glasses. Even when looking back at our own pasts, we view the past with an air of nostalgia, the good moments resonating clearer then the bad, and so little remembered actually as it happened, and more the way we prefer to remember it.

There was no golden age of honour - there have always been honourable people, and there always will be. What the past has, is a tradition of greater formality. Most of human history had a lawlessness to it that I don't think we quite appreciate, and in such a world where the wealthy and/or influential get away with a lot, it is wise not to make enemies. It was territorial posturing, etiquette that set up the board game for the fine play of power amongst the powerful. Though they bowed to each other at formal balls with haughty air, there was never any lack of treachery, betrayal or cruelety.

The only women who were treated with this romanticized gentility were wealthy and white - and even they could be legally beaten and raped by their husbands. It was about class and power, not kindness and empathy. What good does it do if you'll run to carry a woman's bags but don't hesitate to beat your slave? Or if your husband brings you flowers, but you can't vote or seek gainful employment?

Now men live with the additional problem, of assuming their gentlemanly manners are patronizing or look like they're trying to get your number. So they hesitate to carry your bags, hold an umbrella for a woman walking down the street without one or indulge in some other act of gentlemanly charm. And as women, we do live with some sense of fear and trepidation, knowing there are complete strangers that would enjoy harming us. So suspicion can be hard to shake.

If you go out of your way to show appreciation when men act in kindness, you will find that they repeat, and that other men who observe how you graciously accept such acts, are happy to indulge in traditional displays of kindness as well. You need to give them signals, to let them know you aren't a hard-line feminist who demands a standard that men can't quite make sense of.

I don't think honour is dead, I think one needs to know how to spot honourable people, and how to attract them to you, and understand and live with honour to keep them in your life. Be a Lady, and Gentlemen will find you.

I actually find gentlemen are looking for a place to safely express themselves and be welcomed.

[Katy Alexander]

word Very well said, I was thinking the exact same thing Lauren I just couldn't get the words out right.

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

The more I read about history, the more I think we look back with rose tinted glasses. Even when looking back at our own pasts, we view the past with an air of nostalgia, the good moments resonating clearer then the bad, and so little remembered actually as it happened, and more the way we prefer to remember it.

There was no golden age of honour - there have always been honourable people, and there always will be. What the past has, is a tradition of greater formality. Most of human history had a lawlessness to it that I don't think we quite appreciate, and in such a world where the wealthy and/or influential get away with a lot, it is wise not to make enemies. It was territorial posturing, etiquette that set up the board game for the fine play of power amongst the powerful. Though they bowed to each other at formal balls with haughty air, there was never any lack of treachery, betrayal or cruelety.

The only women who were treated with this romanticized gentility were wealthy and white - and even they could be legally beaten and raped by their husbands. It was about class and power, not kindness and empathy. What good does it do if you'll run to carry a woman's bags but don't hesitate to beat your slave? Or if your husband brings you flowers, but you can't vote or seek gainful employment?

Now men live with the additional problem, of assuming their gentlemanly manners are patronizing or look like they're trying to get your number. So they hesitate to carry your bags, hold an umbrella for a woman walking down the street without one or indulge in some other act of gentlemanly charm. And as women, we do live with some sense of fear and trepidation, knowing there are complete strangers that would enjoy harming us. So suspicion can be hard to shake.

If you go out of your way to show appreciation when men act in kindness, you will find that they repeat, and that other men who observe how you graciously accept such acts, are happy to indulge in traditional displays of kindness as well. You need to give them signals, to let them know you aren't a hard-line feminist who demands a standard that men can't quite make sense of.

I don't think honour is dead, I think one needs to know how to spot honourable people, and how to attract them to you, and understand and live with honour to keep them in your life. Be a Lady, and Gentlemen will find you.

I actually find gentlemen are looking for a place to safely express themselves and be welcomed.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Becky

word Very well said, I was thinking the exact same thing Lauren I just couldn't get the words out right.

Did you have something stuck in your purty lil mouth?

Originally Posted by pjorourke

I'm not sure you want to be that open-ended with WTF. He can be pretty twisted.

Don't listen to PJ chelsa....I do not twist boobs, I cherish them. Cherish Chelsa's ChicaChicas is my motto. I don't know what he talking bout Willis.

[Rudyard K]

Any act of gallantry consists of -

1) Recognition of a needed action.
2) Conversion of the recognition to action. (i.e. doing something about it)
3) An ability to carry the act through.

I agree with LS that we tend to remember things better than they really were. But I also feel certain that if there is a lessening of gallantry today (and I think, to some extent, there is), it is a result of incremental shortfalls of both the recievers of gallant acts and the producers of gallant acts.

One would think that if gallantry is waning today...that an act of gallantry would be much more noticed and appreciated. I'm not sure that it is (present company excluded, of course ). If I had to take a guess why there are less gallant acts today...I would blame it on an increasing sense of entitlement in today's world, by both recievers of gallant acts and producers of gallant acts. Entitlement breeds from a lack of appreciation of another's efforts. If we lack appreciation of another's efforts?...there is less to feel like we need to be thankful for. If the gallant feel unappreciated?...there is less impetus to convert a thought to action...and frankly, then there is less entitlement to be appreciated...but we still seek it.

[Katy Alexander]

[quote=WTF;298480]Did you have something stuck in your purty lil mouth?




Yes, Pringles potato chipsPringles are like a drug. One taste of that over salted chip, and you forget all about honor,cruelety in man ,and even horny Dolphins.

[Guest050715-1]

Where I agree with Lauren about the past, I’ve never beaten anyone. Additionally, where it has been technically illegal to beat your wife, let’s face it – it really was legal to do so up until the very recent past. A sad and sordid past dosen't excuse bad manners, and it is bad manners to glare at someone that is holding the door open for you. It just is. By the same token, it is equally bad to glare at a man for not opening the door for me. Either way, I’m guilty of being rude. And it is the worst manner to be rude.

Again, Laruen is right, manners were intricate gestures created to demonstrate that wealthy were more cultured. They were also constantly tweeked to keep nobles at court and not out plotting. If you wanted to stay up on the latest and greatest way to do this or that, you had to be at court. These manners are more haute couture manners, not the everyday manners of making others feel good, being nice, being respectful or being helpful. Those manners transcend class or they should anyway. And these are the manners that I think are deteriorating and replaced with Facebook and Gameboys.

I don’t expect a man to do anything for me. I’m pretty self-reliant, but I like and appreciate men and their gentlemanly gestures. I live in the South. If I’m walking up to a door at the same time as a man is, I naturally prepare to stop because he is going to open it for me – every time unless he’s not paying attention. I’ve noticed a difference in but not a lack of chivalry and gentlemanly manners in NYC (Sorry SR J), Chicago or even worse Southern California.

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

I’ve noticed a difference in but not a lack of chivalry and gentlemanly manners in NYC (Sorry SR J), Chicago or even worse Southern California.

Dear Olivia, I just wasn't at the door as you were coming up. I would have opened the door and then recommended that you and I have lunch together.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by SR Only

and then recommended that you and I have lunch together.

He says that to all the gals

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

He says that to all the gals

Gee DG you're spoiling my MO on how I spoil them. Does "Macy's" tell "Gimbels?" It's not my fault LLSRO (Ladies Love SR Only).

[Guest050715-1]

Originally Posted by SR Only

Gee DG you're spoiling my MO on how I spoil them. Does "Macy's" tell "Gimbels?" It's not my fault LLSRO (Ladies Love SR Only).

And here I was blushing