The Unsuccessful Long-Term Hobby Relationship

[Treetop78759]

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[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Tequila Rose

..... 10 years is a long time...... you thought there was a friendship there. She owed you the truth at the very least. As a friend she owed you that. Plain and simple

I am glad that came from a lady here...... Well stated ma'mm.

Knowing both Z and the lady he was seeing, as well as how they met and what they had in place for so long, the one thing that surprises me the most is that she did not feel she could tell him the truth.

He's always been well balanced and knew her profession from the beginning. He chose to befriend her and be supportive of her in many ways outside of the professional relationship they started with. Whether or not he wanted more with her, he respected what they did have and I simply can't imagine her not telling him.

Finding something like this out it has to sting. Trusting and believing in someone for so long that did not trust and believe in him.

As bad as I would feel in a similar situation I think I would feel the need to contact the other guy and apologize to him for being a part of her deception for so long.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

Sorry Z that really sucks..Hopefully you find a nicer hotter little play thing to keep you distracted and lessen the sting a bit

I'm working in it! I'm thinking maybe a "bachelor" like setting where I arrange for a dozen ladies to meet him over the weekend...
Guess we will need a few roses...

[Tatonka]

You had a good run.
Relationships rarely end smoothly.
Move forward a wiser man.

Best of luck to you z

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by nuglet

...... Think how her "landlord" will feel someday..

Yeah..... THAT would make for an interesting story..... maybe he has been giving her money to "take classes" on Tuesdays or something.....

Sucks even more to be THAT guy in 3 scenarios....

1) he has no clue she was a whore before they met.... He loves her and is devoted to her buying whatever bullshit she told him about her Tuesdays.

2) he KNEW she was a whore before they met and trusted/believed in her enough to enter into a relationship and is clueless his love and faith was misplaced.

3) he KNEW she was a whore and was OK with her continuing to turn tricks and have a fuck buddy..... Now he has to pick up the financial slack her Tuesday's will no longer generate.

[Skip_8]

He got played from day 1.

This manipulating whore played the long game.
She slowly got Z to like him, then over the course of months, she did the woe is me act where Z felt like helping such a nice lady that he cared for.

These are the most insidious ones as they guy usually wants something to be real and will overlook obvious signs.

Was the money vs time spent worth it? If it was then don't sweat it. Call it a learning experience.

[Omnivor]

Thanks for sharing that, Z. Sorry to hear how it turned out.

[Treetop78759]

They deserve to know the truth? Wrong. In our society we don't tell the truth because we don't believe they should know. We are selfish creatures. I estimate that 50% of Eccie is married. Many of those who took that sacred vow have been married a long time, have children and even grandchildren. Does their wife and family deserve the truth? Hell no. We would rather shit on those who are supposed to mean the most to us so we can continue to live a double life full of lies. If our families have been minimized and don't deserve the truth why should any other relationship deserve it? We have all been hurt including me but we don't deserve the truth. That entitlement has been gone a very long time.

[FirePhoenix]

I want to feel for you, Z but other than the fact that she lied to you in the face, I honestly can't. To me it sounds like you wanted something that she couldn't give you and that you needed closure to the relationship. Most women are gna to let you know if they want to live,marry,friendship, ect within the first 2 yrs. Women like comittmint and knowing where they stand in a relationship. This sounds like an unspoken sugerbaby agreement. You never pressed wanting more and she never volunteered more. After 10 yrs do you really feel like she had no feelings for you? That is a lot of time and dedication from one person to another and it's impossible not to delvolpe true feeling of some sort.

Bottom line she shouldn't have lied. Would have it changed the outcome of the end of this relationship? A little, yes. Overall, no.You were ready to take your blinders off but remember that you were the one to keep them on in the first place.

Maybe one day we will hear her side of the story. I am not going to condemn her for using you because at this point in time I don't see that she did. Did anyone clarify the "unspoken sugerbaby" rules? Did she actively throw it in your face that you were not her boyfriend? Was there any type of agreements for her to pay you back? If the answer is "no" then you both agreed to the way this relationship went and saw no reason to change it because it suited both of your needs.

The bigger question that I see is- What is it that you are ready for? Only you can answer that and how much are you ready for whatever it is that you seek. My best of luck and wishes to your pursuit of it.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Always sad to hear when things turn bad for a good person.

[Observing]

> Did the two of you ever have a definitive talk about "Being exclusive to one another"?
> She was aware you are a Mod on a Hooker board and all the "perks" that the position brings,no?
> She has a computer and can access this site and read about the soirees at your casa with debauchery(thanks Whispers!),no?
> She was ok with you seeing other "whores" and writing reviews about those encounters?
> You saw her for part of ONE day a week?!What did you think a hot little hooker was doing for the other 6.5 days of the week?

But you had these fantasy dreams...

What's that sayin'?
"Ya lose 'em the same way ya found 'em"...

And let's get real here;if it was anyone besides a beloved mod singing this tale of woe,Whispers would be all up in your shit for "fallin'in love with a whore".
Example:
Cap'n Crunch

[ztonk]

Observing: You are so needy! Answers inline:

Originally Posted by Observing

> Did the two of you ever have a definitive talk about "Being exclusive to one another"?
Nope, we were both polyamorous and I thought we were sharing all our exploits with one another. Obviously wrong assumption on that one, at least for the last 3 years or so.
> She was aware you are a Mod on a Hooker board and all the "perks" that the position brings,no?
Of course she knew I'm a mod. She also knew that there are no perks to being one.
> She has a computer and can access this site and read about the soirees at your casa with debauchery(thanks Whispers!),no?
True (I bought it for her) but I didn't hide my soirees from her. They contributed to our pillow talk and some very hot sex...
> She was ok with you seeing other "whores" and writing reviews about those encounters?
Of course. She was involved in seeing some of those other whores as well.
> You saw her for part of ONE day a week?!What did you think a hot little hooker was doing for the other 6.5 days of the week?
Work, taking care of her kid, her dog, her house, her family... all the normal things a well adjusted person does.
But you had these fantasy dreams...
Not sure where you are going there. Friends should be able to trust one another. When one betrays that trust, it's hard/impossible to come back from that.
And let's get real here;if it was anyone besides a beloved mod singing this tale of woe,Whispers would be all up in your shit for "fallin'in love with a whore".
There are any number of hobbyists that Whispers would support if something similar happened. And a larger number that would be treated like you or Cap'n Crunch.

For the rest of you, thanks for the responses!

z

[ztonk]

Originally Posted by Skip_8

Was the money vs time spent worth it? If it was then don't sweat it. Call it a learning experience.

It was a wild ride and I have no regrets. Money and time well spent.

Originally Posted by FirePhoenix

To me it sounds like you wanted something that she couldn't give you and that you needed closure to the relationship.

Yes, she couldn't give me honesty! She had boyfriends over the course of our time together and that was never a problem. She flirted with girls, too. I thought I knew where I stood and I knew that the situation was not going to change in the near term and I was ok with that. It's the betrayal and lack of remorse that sucks. But that's in the past now.

z

[Observing]

"there are no perks to being one."
Whispers says he pays y'all,but ok...

"They contributed to our pillow talk and some very hot sex..."
Cool!

"She was involved in seeing some of those other whores as well."
Cool again!

" all the normal things a well adjusted person does."
You stated in your initial post:
"I'm sorry to have to report the sad truth that once a woman has been a whore, she always thinks like/is a whore."
Well adjusted indeed!

"Not sure where you are going there. Friends should be able to trust one another. When one betrays that trust, it's hard/impossible to come back from that."
"When you are deep inside the fairy tale, you believe that you are the special one..."

Once you lose trust and respect,there is nothing.
Must've been some dynomite pussy for you to not see the red flags for TEN years.
Happy hunting in the future!

[rockerrick]

It'd be nice if you stopped running your big mouth once and a while.
Hey maybe use the extra time to learn to use the fucking multi quote function so your post aren't so God damn retarded!