Should you, or should you not?

[Marshpirate]

Give without remembering.
Recieve without forgetting.
I don't mind being asked for help. Just not from someone I don't know. If I can, I will help. But I have been hit up by friends for monetary help. "Loans" they call them. I don't loan anymore. If I help you, I'm giving it to you. If I'm in need someday, hopefully I've been enough of an example.

[Guest062114-5]

Originally Posted by Marshpirate

Give without remembering.
Recieve without forgetting.
I don't mind being asked for help. Just not from someone I don't know. If I can, I will help. But I have been hit up by friends for monetary help. "Loans" they call them. I don't loan anymore. If I help you, I'm giving it to you. If I'm in need someday, hopefully I've been enough of an example.

If I loan a friend money, I don't want to be in a position to scrutinize her spending habits until I'm paid back. It's not worth risking the friendship. Instead, I make it a gift with only the promise that when she can do the same for someone else, she will.

It's always worked well for me.

[asfva]

I am with ya Tbone!

[Guest071514-1]

Originally Posted by blowpop

I completely understand the desire when times are tough to contact a regular client and try to drum up business, or even ask for a "loan". Asking a client to be flexible isn't a bad thing, as long as the provider herself offers flexibility.

LilMynx said exactly what I was thinking. Does this work both ways? If the guy she's calling were to call her, in need of attention but is short on funds, will she see him and be OK getting payment later, or offering some other special arrangement? If the answer is "Hell no, this is a business!" then she'd be a hypocrite to ask for what she's not willing to give.

If a provider views any behavior on the part of the client beyond a strictly business arrangement as unacceptable, it should be unacceptable for her as well. If she's more flexible in how she deals with her clients, it's reasonable for her to inquire if a bit of flexibility is available on their parts as well.

I don't think either scenario is wrong or right. But I do have a problem with those who expect more from others than they themselves are willing to give.

It's a business. I have never given a free loan of a session. If a provider did that she would lose future business from those who don't pay back. Bad idea to loan pussy! IMO

[Guest072624]

Agreed. And that avi pic of Madonna i love it!

Originally Posted by LilMynx69

If I loan a friend money, I don't want to be in a position to scrutinize her spending habits until I'm paid back. It's not worth risking the friendship. Instead, I make it a gift with only the promise that when she can do the same for someone else, she will.

It's always worked well for me.

[texasaggie96]

I have no issue with helping out if I have gotten to know her. One girl on here actually became a close friend, she ended up getting out of the hobby and got a degree, etc. and we stay close.

She told me had I not been there, she would never have finished school. We became close when she needed help, I helped her out, she lived in my loft downtown til her situation got straight, and when the time came she needed help to get back in school. I helped her hunt down her old JuCo college transcripts and high school transcripts from North Carolina, helped her write her grant letters, got all her paperwork sorted, and got her back on track at UH.

She's now a project manager for an oil company, she's married with a daughter.

That was a severe exception for me because I did get to know her, we became close, and I could honestly see she wanted to completely overhaul her life. We still talk to this day, and I don't know what would have happened to her if I didn't answer her request for assistance. Glad I did, though.

In that instance, that help was a one-off for me. Or for any hobbyist. If you say you need help with rent, that seems less appealing than running a special. Ashley, for her part, was talking with me over coffee about a host of other things in life when the topic came up (how we end up where we do, etc.). At the time, I had the space and freedom to help her.

But these days, I really can't do that, so just say "a special deal" and we'll all be good.

[Guest062114-5]

Originally Posted by Kammye

Agreed. And that avi pic of Madonna i love it!

Thanks Kammye! Looking good! xoxo

[Guest062114-5]

Originally Posted by texasaggie96

I have no issue with helping out if I have gotten to know her. One girl on here actually became a close friend, she ended up getting out of the hobby and got a degree, etc. and we stay close.

She told me had I not been there, she would never have finished school. We became close when she needed help, I helped her out, she lived in my loft downtown til her situation got straight, and when the time came she needed help to get back in school. I helped her hunt down her old JuCo college transcripts and high school transcripts from North Carolina, helped her write her grant letters, got all her paperwork sorted, and got her back on track at UH.

She's now a project manager for an oil company, she's married with a daughter.

That was a severe exception for me because I did get to know her, we became close, and I could honestly see she wanted to completely overhaul her life. We still talk to this day, and I don't know what would have happened to her if I didn't answer her request for assistance. Glad I did, though.

In that instance, that help was a one-off for me. Or for any hobbyist. If you say you need help with rent, that seems less appealing than running a special. Ashley, for her part, was talking with me over coffee about a host of other things in life when the topic came up (how we end up where do, etc.). At the time, I had the space and freedom to help her.

But these days, I really can't do that, so just say "a special deal" and we'll all be good.

What a great story. It's a rare opportunity to be able to truly change someone's life with your generosity and kindness. It's an added blessing when the recipient truly understands and appreciates what you've done.

It's a win-win situation. I'm lucky enough to have experienced this twice in my life. Once from each side. It's definitely made me a better person.

[texasaggie96]

Originally Posted by LilMynx69

What a great story. It's a rare opportunity to be able to truly change someone's life with your generosity and kindness. It's an added blessing when the recipient truly understands and appreciates what you've done.

It's a win-win situation. I'm lucky enough to have experienced this twice in my life. Once from each side. It's definitely made me a better person.

Thank you for the kinds words, and I do see it as a blessing.

As to identifying who gets help - I also think it depends on the person. When you can see it in their eyes that "yes, I want to change" that is different than if the person is slamming a Red-Bull-Vodka shot then doing a line of blow and saying "You know..." [sniff sniff] "...I soooooo need to, like, stop doing this" [new shot, new line].

I am just happy for her and her daughter, and the husband has asked me about that "time in her life" she doesn't want to discuss. I told him that for his sake, don't ask. Just know that the person she is now is 180-degrees different from that person. He got the hint, he never asked again.

I know she'll tell him when she is ready. I was blessed, as well, to learn what it means to be selfless. I was a pretty selfish a-hole up to that encounter.

[surcher]

Originally Posted by KatieKatie

If I wanted public assistance I wouldn't be here right now. Not all of us double dip and take advantage of the system, Trey. I do know that lots of girls do it though. It is infuriating.

I would never PM, call, or ask anyone to come and pay me. That is nuts. I would call my mother before I did that.

As a person well below the poverty line, on disability income, it pisses me off how many scam the system. We've got some pumping out kid after kid for more tax payer money. It's amazing how much someone can get if they know how to work the system. I'm talking near and above six digits. Food stamps are ridiculously abused. I don't get them and I'm pretty sure I'm eligible.

If ladies accepted them like cash I'd probably change my mind, lol.

[Guest071514-1]

Originally Posted by texasaggie96

Thank you for the kinds words, and I do see it as a blessing.

As to identifying who gets help - I also think it depends on the person. When you can see it in their eyes that "yes, I want to change" that is different than if the person is slamming a Red-Bull-Vodka shot then doing a line of blow and saying "You know..." [sniff sniff] "...I soooooo need to, like, stop doing this" [new shot, new line].

I am just happy for her and her daughter, and the husband has asked me about that "time in her life" she doesn't want to discuss. I told him that for his sake, don't ask. Just know that the person she is now is 180-degrees different from that person. He got the hint, he never asked again.

I know she'll tell him when she is ready. I was blessed, as well, to learn what it means to be selfless. I was a pretty selfish a-hole up to that encounter.

Happens more than you think, or pimp beating her ass telling her she better get him some mf'ing money NOW or the real ass whippin is coming! You never 99% of the time know whats really behind these motives. And this is the shit that puts providers in this situation 99% of the time anyways. And I'm not calling anyone out. Just the fact that I have known many ho's in the past, and there is a pattern. I'm a "do gooder" like Brooke, I tried to get some into "helpful places", even offered to help care for their responsibilities while they cleaned up, but 99% again don't want to! So they are stuck in a rut. I pray for these women all the time, but my helpful Captain Save A Ho days are behind me. Now I have a SD, ad I ask him to put a little something in my account at times, and he does with no strings attached, but thats when I know that something little is coming out like gym fees. (I don't keep a lot in the bank for obvious reasons). But I try not to take advantage! And again, I'm not calling anyone out, but with my history and helpful nature, I have tried to help many! I have known many. Why do you think I'm so proud of my lifestyle, I'm your average bored MILF. Nothing special, nobody important. But I draw a line, I work for tomorrow, not for a pimp or anything else!

[ICU 812]

"Help" . . .Doesn't this segway into being a SD/SB arrangement?

We have a whole forum on this.

[oilfieldscum]

Does this threAD seem very similar to this one....

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=750635&highlight=

or is it just me?

[Sarunga]

You are not the only one, OFS. Perhaps, Amy is running out of material.

[Guest071514-1]

I was on ban during that thread. Haven't seen it till now. And I didn't start this to see who I can hit up lol. Thus, the difference between myself and whoever might started a similar thread. This is about providers giving bs stories for $. A sd/sb relationship is completely different. There is an arrangement and agreement and a bit more personal relationship. IMO