What would you do if you saw a woman being abused? Would it matter if she were a prostitute?

[lilsmurf]

Nothing makes me more fkn mad than when woman or kid, gets pushed around and hit. At a mall once this guy backhanded his little kid pretty hard. We got in a fight right there. I dont think there is anything that needed to be said to him, Im not Dr. fkn Phil. He knew what he did.

[Shea Veile]

I donate to the Genesis Battered Womens' Shelter all of the time because it's the organization/charity I prefer to share with. The others get more than enough but this one in particular is often overlooked.

Clothing & accessories, linens & towels, housewares, candles and books.

I wish more people would consider sifting thru their homes. Anything that is no longer of interest and in good condition can be passed along to someone who may need it.

Thanks for the responses and feedback on the thread. Despite the general nature of it, let's try to be positive and proactive in our communities.

[LazurusLong]

Originally Posted by lilsmurf

Im not Dr. fkn Phil. He knew what he did.

Amen. And thanks.

Kids CAN'T leave. Someone hurts a kid like that in front of me that will not end well. For him.

I'm not against corporal punishment but smashing a kid on their face or head? game on.

[Tony Patella]

Originally Posted by Shea Veile

Copy & Pasted from The Christian Science Monitor

News & Opinion: Click Here


What would you do if you saw a woman being abused by her boyfriend?


**End of Article**

The question referenced above had nothing to do with whether or not the victim of abuse was involved in the hobby...it was a simple question. later repeated..."What would you do?" if you witnessed abuse. (In fact, as some have said here I also extend my interference when witnessing abusive treatment of children and pets.)

In my youth, I was a bit of a badass. I thought nothing of jumping in to a situation like that, and using my self defense skills to give some knucklehead a wake up call. One situation almost resulted in a legal mess, so I began to rethink how o better deal with that type of scenario.

As a result, and after a bit of maturing, even though I'm still physically capable I've learned that a calm yet forceful presence can be effective in many cases. (Many, not all...) Thankfully, I haven't had occasion to witness abusive behaviour in the last few years. Without a doubt, I would still intervene.

Respect for all things living isn't something that is selective based on race, age, profession, gender, species etc. (Evidenced here all too often...) Looking the other way is almost as bad as committing the offense. There are a host of ways to get involved, not necessarily relegated to violence or force. What is required, is using your head and keeping your rage and emotions in check. Clear minds function much more rationally and effectively.

Just my $.02

TP out...

[CoHorn]

I saw a girl get slapped by a guy while I was in college. I returned the favor and got booted from school for a semester. Would do it again in a heart beat. I have no patience for a bully.

[TinMan]

Originally Posted by Tony Patella

The question referenced above had nothing to do with whether or not the victim of abuse was involved in the hobby...it was a simple question.

The fact that she posted it in the Coed forum vs. the Sandbox makes it natural (and appropriate) to consider the question in the context of the Hobby. And I still believe most men here find themselves limited in what they can do, despite wishing otherwise.

[Randy4Candy]

Sad to say that most people are VERY reluctant to step in between a prostitute and her pimp, which is how most RW people would read the described situation between the "sexily" dressed lady and the angry "b/f."

911 is the way to go because when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro (HST)

[Clouddancer]

This is a very interesting thread.
I am also one who is very sensitive towards the abuse of women or children, either physical abuse, verbal abuse, or emotional abuse.
Most abusers become experts with verbal and emotional manipulation. This is so often why a woman will go back to the abuser or not protect her child from him.

I think it is easy to say what we would do in a situation, but the truth is we really don't know exactly how we might react until actually put in a certain circumstance.

I like to think I would intervene but
say the asshole pulls a gun........ would I take a bullet for the woman being abused?
would I react differently if with my children or spouse? .......(meaning their protection being more important)

Its an interesting discussion and the opinions expressed here are, for the most part, refreshing.

For me personally, the most useful post in this thread is to learn of
http://www.genesisshelter.org/

I have not heard of this shelter before. Rest assurred I will be looking into it.

[broes]

Originally Posted by Clouddancer

I think it is easy to say what we would do in a situation, but the truth is we really don't know exactly how we might react until actually put in a certain circumstance.

I like to think I would intervene but
say the asshole pulls a gun........ would I take a bullet for the woman being abused?
would I react differently if with my children or spouse? .......(meaning their protection being more important)

Finally someone with a honest reply. This thread has been cracking me up. Its real easy to play the tough guy on an anonymous board. And what a great way to show all the ladies on here how chivalrous you are. The fact of the matter is that most of these Eccie Mike Tysons probably havent seen any hand to hand combat since a childhood slap fight. And they probably cried during that.

[Shea Veile]

Originally Posted by Tony Patella

The question referenced above had nothing to do with whether or not the victim of abuse was involved in the hobby...it was a simple question. later repeated..."What would you do?" if you witnessed abuse.

It has EVERYTHING to do with it.

The article clearly addresses the situation(s) in civie AND hobby relations, as well as the questions in the title (not just the one printed at the bottom the post).

If you had taken the time to process the whole context of the article & questions, then your statement wouldn't be inaccurate.

[PODarkness]

This is a complicated issue, because there are so many underlying issues.

Intellectually, I'm with Steve. Adults make their own choices, and it's rare that they are just one small opportunity (or even many large ones) from choosing a different path To give assistance when none is asked assumes too much ( Children are a different subject ).
Emotionally, on the other hand, I hate to see people abused, and do react more strongly if it's a woman.

In my younger days I tried to "white knight" on behalf of people who were being abused, and in most instances it ended up costing me dearly, but had no long, or even medium term, positive effect on the situation.
Once, I got my ass kicked by a guy who, as it turned out, was just pain faster, and stronger. I took my chances, like you do any time you square off with someone who is violent, and lost. The fight lasted about 5 minutes, which should have given any intelligent person time to get away, but the woman in question stuck around to see the fight, and he picked up his abuse of her right where he left off, blaming her for his now missing teeth.
Once, I ended up getting my ass kicked because the girl, much to my surprise, didn't like seeing her boyfriend get his ass kicked, and hit me from behind with what I think was a wine bottle. She never said "stop" or "don't", or "get off him". She just put 8 stitches in my head, then locked herself in their car and watched the tables turn. I'll never forget laying in that parking lot bleeding, and listening to him "appologize" to her, so she would unlock the car and let him in "before the cops get here". She did, and I'm pretty sure he punched her as they drove off. He was screaming at her, and then she started screaming. I guess some guys just don't appreciate loyalty in their partner Eh? (sarcasm)

I've admitted my emotional bias toward defending women, but even so, I'm going to play devils advocate on this one, because intellectually it's the only way to defend equality between the sexes.

I find it odd that everyone preaches the importance of equality, but nobody expects it, lives it, or wants it. All the guys who expressed their opinion of men beating up women imply that men beating up men is somehow less wrong. I wonder what the TV show would have found if the woman was abusing the man? What would those two women's excuse have been then?

Certainly there is an issue with the stronger beating up on, or through the threat of violence, taking advantage of the weaker, but nobody seems to get worked up about it unless the weaker person is a woman.

Statistically men are more likely to be the victim of a violent crime than women are, so I have to ask, have any of the women who are upset that nobody helped the hooker, ever waded into the middle of a fight between two people they didn't know, to defend the weaker one, when the victim wasn't a woman? What's your excuse?

Some statistics on the subject...
-Domestic violence against women in lesbian relationships is just as common as domestic violence against women in heterosexual relationships (about 1 in 5).
-The Department of Psychology at California State University, Long Beach compiled data from 219 studies on intimate partner violence and concluded that "women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.
-Data from the National Family Violence Survey (8000 men & 8000 women) consistently shows that men and women are equally likely to be physically assaulted by an intimate partner.
-From a Center For Disease Control Study- almost one-quarter of participants reported some violence in their relationships. Half of these involved one-sided ("non-reciprocal") attacks and half involved both assaults and counter assaults ("reciprocal violence"). Women reported committing one-sided attacks more than twice as often as men (70% versus 29%). In all cases of intimate partner violence, women were more likely to be injured than men, but 25% of men in relationships with two-sided violence reported injury compared to 20% of women reporting injury in relationships with one-sided violence.
-The rate of intimate partner violence in the U.S. has declined every year since 1993.

Devils Advocate Rant Over.
Flame away!

[enigma878]

Shea, i've stepped in between many spats which were about to result in a physical struggle or had already. i never interviewed a Woman about Herself before coming to Her defense. This type of behavior shouldn't happen.

[Randall Creed]

Lol.
I wonder how it feels to live as a coward, as someone who would spend more time rationalizing why they WOULDN'T or shouldn't intervene rather than actually doing what's morally right, which is acting in aid of another.

Let's take this another angle. Let's sayyyyy, the woman was your sister. She's got this douchebag boyfriend and he starts swinging on her. You're in the middle of a session with a provider. But me, I just happen to be in the vicinity of this situation. Let's say your sister's ohhhhh, a tiny thing, 5'2", 100lbs, one of those really GIRLY girls, and never been in a fight a day in her life. Here's her boyfriend, Bruno, amateur boxer (middleweight), spent some time in the pen, on parole, alcoholic, blah, blah, blah...the perfect 'storybook' douchebag. This joker's beating on her, yelling, acting an ass...the whole 9. Let's say he beats her to within an inch of her life.

Later on you find out ol' Rambro Creed (weighing nearly 230, strong as an ox) was 10 feet away enjoying a cup of coffee, watching sportscenter highlights, and only 'intervened' to say, "I'm calling the cops on you, you meanie!", and dailed 911 after she was laying in a pool of her own blood.

How would you feel? I pose this to the 'don't do anything you'll later regret' crowd.




Fwiw, the real Rambro Creed would've put the guy through a wall, poured my coffee in his face, and helped the female out. I'd rather be 'wrong' by doing something than be 'wrong' sitting there like a dumbass because I'm worried about the law or getting my own ass kicked or whatever. You can't always 'think' in those situations. The way I see it, it's no different that seeing someone choking or clinging to the edge of a cliff or about to get mauled by a cougar. You act, because that little voice within all of us that KNOWS when we should do the right thing is telling you to do so.

For the record, I HAVE acted in a situation like that. Guy was bigger than me (not grossly bigger, but bigger), and the female was literally half his size. At the very least I probably saved her a trip to the hospital, but at most maybe her life.

[Tony Patella]

Originally Posted by Shea Veile

It has EVERYTHING to do with it.

.[/I] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

I mis typed, and it was too late to correct when i realized. Let me clarify, for those who can't seem to comprehend.

What I meant to say is that it SHOULD HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHETHER IT'S HOBBY RELATED OR NOT. Respect and caring for others should not be predicated on race, religion, political beliefs, social status and chosen professions.

I'm done with this one...

[Randy4Candy]

Well, Shea, the original article you posted was slanted so as to postulate and conclude that the only reason people reacted the way that they did is because of the "sexy" appearance of the woman. I don't necessarily agree with either the premise or the conclusion. On one hand, it could mean that people are reluctant to step into a "business" disagreement - on the other hand, it could also mean that people are genuinely reluctant to get directly involved in a dispute between two people who appear to operate outside the "mainstream." PODarkness points out some unpleasant facts with regards to what the lady might actually do.