While We're on the Subject of IOP, Let's Address the White Elephant ...

[oldbutstillgoing]

Blackmaleindallas, there is nothing wrong with not wanting IOP. The thread though is how a guy who wants it can maximize the experience. No one is saying you have to do anything but pay her. You might start your on thread if you feel its necessary to discuss something off topic like your post.

[Mojojo]

Originally Posted by blackmaleindallas

I'll play the role of contrarian. I'm not really into IOP. The illusion of anything ends once I leave the donation on the dresser or wherever, but that doesn't mean that I'm not cordial or that I treat said provider with any less respect than I would a woman that I was dating.

Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

Blackmaleindallas, there is nothing wrong with not wanting IOP. The thread though is how a guy who wants it can maximize the experience. No one is saying you have to do anything but pay her. You might start your on thread if you feel its necessary to discuss something off topic like your post.

Well to be fair he does give his method on what he does whether you agree with it or not. Here merely justify's why he's not interested in IOP yet still finds a way to make a woman comfortable. It's still all within the discussion and good information to intake for those who aren't IOP enthusiast yet still treat a woman nicely to have a successful session.

[Guest030824]

Blackmaleindallas your attitude is suitable for dealing with used car salesmen. In the hobby we are dealing with a person that is allowing us to use a very private portion of her body. My sole aim in meeting a provider is for both of us to depart realizing we had an enjoyable time. I have recently discovered I want to master the manipulation of the G-spot.

[Gentlemen Rendezvous]

Could not agree more, great post. It is a two way street, and it take two (at least two) to make for a great time

[Guest062217]

Great thread ED!

We have never met (yet..*wink*) but I can honestly say that any provider who has ever met me knows that I am very passionate and not at all mechanical. I really really really want the provider I meet to say to herself "damn that was a hot time..I'd love to see him again"...

I may not bring flowers but I will bring maybe a bottle of champagne or wine depending on how much time we have...but regardless I always bring my own Italian version of P-A-S-S-I--O-N.....

[Sir Lancehernot]

Originally Posted by Eva Damita

To the gents, how is it that you make a provider feel like SHE'S the only one, and dare I say, special? She may not be your ATF/Regular lady of choice, but do you feel it's equally important to make her feel so? What do you do to show this whilst in her company ?

I've been trying really hard to distinguish myself to two ladies who have become very important to me lately. I don't know if they realize the life-affirming nature of what they do for me, but I try to let them know.

The easiest way to show that is by showing up for an appointment and declaring it a "Her" day, rather than a "me" day. I let her know that the session is not about my pleasure, but about hers, and that I am available to do whatever she wishes. It's usually me rubbing her and tending to whatever other needs or desires that she expresses as they come up. Occasionally, it's fantasy fulfillment: Does she have any fantasies that she would like to engage in? My goal is to have her forget that she's working, and just lie back, relax, and allow her to enjoy the hour. Now, with one, that's damn near impossible, because she takes every session and makes it all about you, so I'm still working on turning the tables on her.

Gifts are another way. Initially, flowers, lingerie, liquor, perfume, candy, the usual stuff works. But when one lady told me she had three drawers full of lingerie, I began to reconsider -- not only for that reason, but also because I started to realize that, in my opinion, my relationships had moved beyond the "usual suspects" list of gifts, and my friends-for-an-hour in my mind now deserve something else. That, as you might suspect, presents a quandary that I'm still working on.

I remember their birthdays and try to find something nice and memorable as gift for those occasions. I recently bombed one birthday badly -- three times, in fact. First, I wanted to foot the bill for her and some of her friends to go out and blow off some steam. But the friends wouldn't respond to my requests for help. So, next, I was going to provide funding for a semi-major purchase that I knew she was about to make. I had so very badly wanted to be there and see her eyes light up and maybe hear a "thank you," but she proceeded on her own. So now the best I have been able to come up with is an envelope full of money, but it's been almost a month and I have not been able to get it to her, and I screwed up so badly when I did try to get it to her last week that I don't know when and where I might see her again.

I know the birthdays of the children of one of my friends, and recently came back from a trip with birthday presents for one -- and, because I didn't want the other to feel left out, for the other, too.

Billy Joel once sang, "If I only had the words to tell you/If you only knew how hard it is to say/When the simple lines have all been taken/And the radio repeats them every day." I'm not a poet, and whatever I'm feeling for my special friends has already been expressed better by someone else in a song, so I frequently will borrow lyrics from some of my favorite songs, and put them in a note that goes in the envelope, or in an email. Those seem to go over well.

If a lady lets me know that such things are welcome, I've been known to send her a good-night or have-a-great-day text. One tells me that my emails and texts bring a smile to her face. That makes me very happy, and certainly encourages repeat behavior.

The women who have become special to me know that there's nothing (within reason or practicality) that I won't do for them. I have offered countless times, both specifically and n general. That they have not taken advantage of the "Please take advantage of me" sign I have placed around my neck suggests either that I have nothing of any value to add to their lives beyond being a client and e-pimp, or that I have chosen to spend my time and money on some women of remarkable integrity, especially for this business. I prefer to believe the latter.

[Chung Tran]

Originally Posted by tucson

My sole aim in meeting a provider is for both of us to depart realizing we had an enjoyable time.

Originally Posted by Gentlemen Rendezvous

Could not agree more, great post. It is a two way street, and it take two (at least two) to make for a great time

this thread is about IOP, you guys say you're about the provider having as good a time as you.. but.. where does illusion fit in? it doesn't in your scenario.. if your provider fakes having a great time, is that ok with you? would you even know if she's faking?

[Guest030824]

Chung
Some may be good actors and fool me but most convince me they have had a good time. All I can do is try.

[Guest030824]

Chung
I never know if she is acting but most have me convinced. I have never been to a spa or amp or SC how do they react to money spent on them? I do spend more time with them to get a feel for their reaction. The next time I see a provider I will ask her to submit to a lie detector test.

[Chung Tran]

Originally Posted by tucson

I have never been to a spa or amp or SC how do they react to money spent on them?

Spa girls often react with a form of passion.. but it's mostly illusion, and it's folly to think you're the one guy where the passion is real.. I tend to think Indies are the same, lots of illusion, not much that is true.. nothing wrong with that, it's just the way it is.. just like men paying women for sex.. it's the way it is..

[oldbutstillgoing]

Originally Posted by Chung Tran

this thread is about IOP, you guys say you're about the provider having as good a time as you.. but.. where does illusion fit in? it doesn't in your scenario.. if your provider fakes having a great time, is that ok with you? would you even know if she's faking?

Given enough time with someone, illusion become shard to maintain. But given the nature of the relationship with these ladies and the relatively short times spent with them, if they are good enough to convince me for hat hour they are as excited about being there as I am, I am OK with that. I know they may be faking it but I am willing to suspend belief for that hour or so and go with the flow. Just like with GFE, I want to believe it for that hour. A great movie, book, or even a game will create an environment that allows the participants to suspend belief and become part of the action for awhile. I know Star Wars was not real but while I watched that move I sure could see me as part of the story.

Guys who have no need for IOP sometimes have trouble understanding why some of us feel its so important. This difference in need also explains why some guys are willing to pay more to a gal when someone else may be hotter or have a better menu. If you cannot understand why IOP and GFE are so important to some guys, you will never understand why we are willing to pay a premium to get what we want if needed.

[Chung Tran]

one thing I haven't seen in this discussion.. the plain fact that some guys need a measure of IOP to get to that next step.. not for mental satisfaction, but physical.. I could never do a 15 minute BNG.. all the IOP a provider could muster would not matter in 15 minutes..

30 minutes is a good dividing line.. with zero passion, it would be difficult for physical satisfaction to reach a proper..um..climax.. give me an hour with a dead fish, and I can probably work my way around enough to do ok, but even then I would wonder why I didn't stay home and spend 10 minutes on XHamster instead..

[Guest030824]

I have never booked a BNG as I enjoy some time with the provider. I always attempt to find those with IOP but you never know until you are with them. I have several ATFs that at least make me believe they are into what I give. I have been with a couple that scream and yell but it seems fake. I joke and laugh so I always enjoy a woman with a sense of humor. Would that be considered IOP?

[Eva Damita]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

I've been trying really hard to distinguish myself to two ladies who have become very important to me lately. I don't know if they realize the life-affirming nature of what they do for me, but I try to let them know.

The easiest way to show that is by showing up for an appointment and declaring it a "Her" day, rather than a "me" day. I let her know that the session is not about my pleasure, but about hers, and that I am available to do whatever she wishes. It's usually me rubbing her and tending to whatever other needs or desires that she expresses as they come up. Occasionally, it's fantasy fulfillment: Does she have any fantasies that she would like to engage in? My goal is to have her forget that she's working, and just lie back, relax, and allow her to enjoy the hour. Now, with one, that's damn near impossible, because she takes every session and makes it all about you, so I'm still working on turning the tables on her.

Gifts are another way. Initially, flowers, lingerie, liquor, perfume, candy, the usual stuff works. But when one lady told me she had three drawers full of lingerie, I began to reconsider -- not only for that reason, but also because I started to realize that, in my opinion, my relationships had moved beyond the "usual suspects" list of gifts, and my friends-for-an-hour in my mind now deserve something else. That, as you might suspect, presents a quandary that I'm still working on.

I remember their birthdays and try to find something nice and memorable as gift for those occasions. I recently bombed one birthday badly -- three times, in fact. First, I wanted to foot the bill for her and some of her friends to go out and blow off some steam. But the friends wouldn't respond to my requests for help. So, next, I was going to provide funding for a semi-major purchase that I knew she was about to make. I had so very badly wanted to be there and see her eyes light up and maybe hear a "thank you," but she proceeded on her own. So now the best I have been able to come up with is an envelope full of money, but it's been almost a month and I have not been able to get it to her, and I screwed up so badly when I did try to get it to her last week that I don't know when and where I might see her again.

I know the birthdays of the children of one of my friends, and recently came back from a trip with birthday presents for one -- and, because I didn't want the other to feel left out, for the other, too.

Billy Joel once sang, "If I only had the words to tell you/If you only knew how hard it is to say/When the simple lines have all been taken/And the radio repeats them every day." I'm not a poet, and whatever I'm feeling for my special friends has already been expressed better by someone else in a song, so I frequently will borrow lyrics from some of my favorite songs, and put them in a note that goes in the envelope, or in an email. Those seem to go over well.

If a lady lets me know that such things are welcome, I've been known to send her a good-night or have-a-great-day text. One tells me that my emails and texts bring a smile to her face. That makes me very happy, and certainly encourages repeat behavior.

The women who have become special to me know that there's nothing (within reason or practicality) that I won't do for them. I have offered countless times, both specifically and n general. That they have not taken advantage of the "Please take advantage of me" sign I have placed around my neck suggests either that I have nothing of any value to add to their lives beyond being a client and e-pimp, or that I have chosen to spend my time and money on some women of remarkable integrity, especially for this business. I prefer to believe the latter.

It was certainly worth the read to discover how thoughtful, considerate, and kind you are - gentlemen like you make a lady feel more eager to please you...significantly more so than a quick unbuckle of the pants hurriedly without her own arousal. My code is that I don't do anything I do not enjoy sexually, therefore I prefer feeling the warm juices oozing through my labia lips, to a dry one while worshipping my Lover's Manhood.

[ktiix]

Originally Posted by Chung Tran

this thread is about IOP, you guys say you're about the provider having as good a time as you.. but.. where does illusion fit in? it doesn't in your scenario.. if your provider fakes having a great time, is that ok with you? would you even know if she's faking?

To be honest it would be safer to assume she was faking. When I was a kid I faked being happy at work, to make the customers happy. They thought I was a nice guy, the whole time I was picturing myself dunking their terrible kids in the dirty mop bucket. I didn't do this tho, because I needed to work. I think that was an IOP in it's own way. There would never be a time for me when I was enjoying myself as much as the customer, because I would not have spent my money to be at work.