Can Providers and Hobbyists be JUST FRIENDS?

[Bob the Nailer]

Sure you can. You can get your heart broken just as easily by a provider as a civilian.

Because what we do with each other is about as intimate as we can get with anyone physically, there will arise out of that with a few people, feelings that may or may not be mutual. Sometimes, you can be friends, other times, you can, but it will cost you in the end.

Never knowing when an ATF will disappear into the rabbit hole and leaving you holding your dick in your hand all alone, when you thought you were friends, should help make the decision easier.

[Roger.Smith]

Sure. It happens to a lot of guys when they get friend-zoned. Being serious, if both people are mentally stable and understand boundaries, it can work. Guys here talk a big game about understanding boundaries, but their actions don't always match their words.

Personally, I don’t believe that people you pay are friends. There's one hobbyists who claims to be friends with a lot of providers, but every few months he's complaining that he got used, or the provider cut him off because he wouldn't do them a favor.

[Angel Ryder]

Cum....escape...same thing. Anyhoo, I agree Roger. You don't pay friends. And I don't fuck my friends. Because I need someone to have an objective outlook when I ask for advice, which is kind of hard to do when you're jaded by the Power of the Pussy. Like, for instance, if I needed friendly advice on, say, moving to another state. A hobbyist who is a "friend" is of course going to point out any and every reason why this is a terrible idea because he may not want to see me leave due to the close bond we have. He may feel like he found something special and doesn't click with anyone else like that and so his advice--any advice--will have ulterior motives. All solicited advice will have the common theme of "how will this situation benefit me or hurt me?"

To sum it up, I suppose the word "friend" is defined a little differently here. I have met some real gems here and although I may not share too much about my personal life, it's only because I don't want to hinder the great relationship we have established. I also do NOT want to put anyone in a situation where they feel the need to play captain save a hoe and come to my rescue, for any reason because I don't like people to feel used. All in all, I like to keep it light, keep it simple. No harm no foul that way.

[rf23817]

There is no real right or wrong answer. Every situation is different, and everyone has a different outlook on things. I will say personally, in one particular situation with me, the answer is a definite yes.

[dtx/tn]

Originally Posted by Slim.

Cum....escape...same thing. Anyhoo, I agree Roger. You don't pay friends. And I don't fuck my friends. Because I need someone to have an objective outlook when I ask for advice, which is kind of hard to do when you're jaded by the Power of the Pussy. Like, for instance, if I needed friendly advice on, say, moving to another state. A hobbyist who is a "friend" is of course going to point out any and every reason why this is a terrible idea because he may not want to see me leave due to the close bond we have. He may feel like he found something special and doesn't click with anyone else like that and so his advice--any advice--will have ulterior motives. All solicited advice will have the common theme of "how will this situation benefit me or hurt me?"

To sum it up, I suppose the word "friend" is defined a little differently here. I have met some real gems here and although I may not share too much about my personal life, it's only because I don't want to hinder the great relationship we have established. I also do NOT want to put anyone in a situation where they feel the need to play captain save a hoe and come to my rescue, for any reason because I don't like people to feel used. All in all, I like to keep it light, keep it simple. No harm no foul that way.

Exactly. It's a business relationship (for like 90% of us) - that does not mean altruism, respect, affection, and other mutually beneficial traits of friendship do not exist - they very much can and do exist - but Slim has it dialed in. There is very likely going to be boundaries for one side in the equation that need to be adhered to or the thing will not work out very well for somebody.

For the 10%, congratulations! You have solved a complicated but worthy mystery...now go figure out peace in the Middle East (or why I cannot find a FBSM in uptown).

[txcwby6]

Yes. A Provider in Austin. She lived in the same apartment project I did. Didnt know her profession. We did small talk, exchanged beer , food, etc.. flirted and became casual friends. She told me when we started talking about exchanging time to watch over one another's then 3yr old kiddos. She way unbelievable with my daughter and hers. We were intimate now and then,usually after taking the kids out together or we'd sleep over and end up every so often needing our horns trimmed. This continued for about 5 years until she moved home out of state to take care of her parents. Still miss that great woman.

[MD_4_HotFun]

I have never been close friends with a provider although I think it would make our sex more fun. I am close friends with many civilian married women who have sex with me and lots of other men including their spouse with no issues. Friendship and sex can work well together whether free or paid for.

[jimmy simpson]

Anything is possible. There was a provider I saw quite a bit in the past. We've known each other for a few years. She doesn't officially provide any more meaning she doesn't place adds or seek out clients but she still lets me come by for visits every now and then. I've thought about asking her to lunch.

[doug_dfw]

Originally Posted by thathottnurse

You either click with someone or you don't, just like real life. The point at which I start to unclick is if they start demanding my attention or blowing up my phone.

Most importantly (to me anyway) is that I am NOT their type BCD. That takes a lot of the mystery out of it as to whether or not they are just trying to get freebies. If a guy wants to fuck you, he mentally and emotionally can't be a genuine friend to you because he is in hunting mode, not friend mode. It would be like expecting him to be friends with a deer. Won't happen.

As far as the hustle...well some hookers are REALLY good at that longggggg hustle. And some guys are too. Its called having a shitty character. That's it. Some people have one and some people don't, hobby or not. They're easy to spot though if you aren't a total pushover. Some people don't want to believe they are smelling bullshit even when its crammed up their nose and that's no one's fault but their own.

Friendship takes mutual respect, observation of boundaries and a good chunk of time. It doesn't happen overnight or even over a month. Its not forced or planted or anything else. It just happens one day like "damn, this fucktard is like a friend to me". And then he is.

And btw, money should not come up. If it does, then it should be paid back immediately and if not then they are not your friend. Friends pay each other back. No room for error on this piont. Same in the real world.

Yea You took the time i did not take to explain important parameters on this subject. Right on thanks

[doug_dfw]

Originally Posted by Prolongus

Fixed that for ya, baby...

Regarding your post, the Provider/client roles can, and have been reversed.
Friendship happens. Ya never know when, how, why or where. Sometimes the right chemistry is...just there.

Glad Slim used the main reason; not all. But she is young. She will find many is more appropriate.

[TallDallasGuy]

I would assume that as an escort, her primary goal is to get paid for sex and
if you become friends with an escort, then the concept of Business will overlap with Pleasure.

More than likely, something bad is gonna happen because misunderstood mutual agreements may be misinterpreted by both parties.

example - you two are good friends, you are hitting it off, you think shes doing it just for fun, and next thing you know she wants money from you.
If a problem arises between you two, its gonna end up bad.

You CAN be friends with an escort IF you DO NOT have sex with her.
You CANNOT be friends with an escort if you DO have sex with her.

As an escort, she is being professional by being objective at her job (do her bidding, get paid, and leave). An escort should not be subjective (she should not develop feelings for clients or perform any acts that will hinder her job).

You can either be a client of the escort and not be a friend, or a just a friend of the escort without being a proper client since then she is no longer being professional in that line of work.

So, I think you can be friends with an escort as long as the relationship is platonic, i.e. No more sex. They are people as well. This is why a lot of professionals draw the line, doctors don't treat their friends or family, attorneys don't represent friends and family, etc. emotions can get involved with business, and they can't then be objective, etc.

[berkleigh]

Yes.

I have several friends I have made along the way.
Some that I have seen consistently as a regular client or had an arrangement of some sort.

I have many Hobbyists that I have never seen BCD that we have met at Events and just happen to click as friends. Some that I am so close to have been to know me in the Real World, have been to my home or met my Family.

But then, I have quite a few I have cut off and could never have a friendship with . . .

[Alastair]

Friendship takes on so many levels - especially in the RW. Generally I think sex with friends is a bad idea, but that's predicated on how the friendship started. Between Provider and Client I think friendship could happen if no one falls in love and sex (if at all) remains business. I imagine jealousy or possessiveness could creep their way in or the guy may decide he's no longer a client when it comes to sex. I assume most people would screw it up, but nothing's impossible!

[EZ.]

Originally Posted by Roger.Smith

Personally, I don’t believe that people you pay are friends. There's one hobbyists who claims to be friends with a lot of providers, but every few months he's complaining that he got used, or the provider cut him off because he wouldn't do them a favor.

I went through this back in the ASPD days. Honestly, I would rather catch the clap ...you can cure that in three days.

2:00 AM in the morning and the phone rings, "are you sleeping"?
Got into a fight outside a strip club, "can you bail me out?"
Pimp shows up at the house looking for someone I've never heard of wanting to search the place. He didn't know how close he came to getting shot.
Text message, "you wouldn't believe how my life sucks" (that was recent) Who wants to respond to that?
I'm entertaining a new RW girlfriend. I'm busy cooking so she gets the door and it's two girls dressed like they just got off of Harry Hines.

Raise your hand if you get any of these calls:
I need money to pay my cell bill
I need money or I'm going to get evicted
I need money because my Mother is sick and I need to go out of state.
I need a ride.

This street is named "One Way". I moved, changed phones, dropped off of ASPD and quit going to the socials.

Understand most of these women don't want you trying to get close. I don't want drama in my life. Keep it strictly business.








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[Muscleup]

Originally Posted by Slim.

Okay, I had to bring this subject up...ladies, how do you feel about it? Is it something that's possible? Can clients turn into friends, or is it something that needs to be addressed when a client begins to consider you his friend? Does it put up red flags? And as for the men in the hobby, have you ever had a close friendship with a provider? Did it ever end badly? Share your thoughts on the subject, everyone.

I guess it depends on your definition of "friend". To me, this means significant social interaction. For me, this would not be possible. But cordial acquaintance? Of course. I luv you guys. ;-)

However, I guess f---ing might be considered significant social interaction. LOL