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If I arrive early, I will usually wait across the street, or at a nearby QT or something so I'm not "lurking." If I haven't been there before, I may do a quick drive-through and then go down the street a bit. You can arrive early, know the exact address, and still be discreet (and less creepy). I don't think you're asking too much.
hotchick asked dude to call when 'he gets close'.
dude called when real close, i.e in the parking lot.
thus did not honor hot chick's request.
i have feeling, cant prove it, that if dude would have said something like 'sorry hot chick, i forgot to call, i'm going to 7-11 down the street, let me know when i can come up', it would have probably been ok.
there is also the lay of the land, some parking lots you can hang out in in a non-lurking manner, but in others you're kind of a sore thumb.
pro is right about the hotel bar.
sometimes, if logistics work out, the lady and i have a drink or two together.
just have to be clear about if the clock is ticking.
Edit: to answer hotchick's question - your mo, imo, is not too strict.
In my experience I usually build in a little leeway when it comes to travel time in case of difficulties. If I show up early I usually go to a fast food place or a store and wait there and check my phone every fifteen seconds. Got to love that nervous energy. Ultimately in a activity like this I think it is better to trust your gut and minimize exposure.
For me personally, I wouldn't have a problem giving someone like you my addy a couple hours early because you have a very long history on the board but when it is someone with very little history, I tend to use use more caution.
Lurking in my parking lot for 15 mins is NOT cool in my book.
I think you have it Kaylee. If they are new or newer to the game, treat them as such. They will understand and appreciate it for the most part. They may want to be discreet, and think they are trying to act safe. However, they may draw attention to themselves unknowingly. Afterall, you saw him lurking. No telling who else noticed him as well. If he knew what he was doing and arrived early, you and any other person wouldn't have been the wiser.
When I had my last apartment incall, I would guide gents in from the nearby C-store.. not due to concerns over my address, but my apartment complex was massive and easy to get lost in without good directions...even then, some gents would miss the turnoff.
But beyond that-- I've never really had an issue with this.
This is exactly what I prefer. I've always been a punctual person and plan for traffic, road construction, or anything else strange. To me, inot the real world, if you show up on time, you're late. That being said, I HATE hanging out in a hotel or apartment building parking lot. I will almost always be early, and wait at a C Store until the lady is ready for me. Text when I'm at the C Store real close, and when she's ready she can give me the final building room number etc... I don't feel awkward hanging at the store texting.
not exactly on topic, but important.. if a Provider lives in a large apartment complex, when you give the room #, also tell how to get to it.. I've wandered several apartment parking lots in a frantic pace, trying to locate that damn room, that seems to not line up naturally with the room numbers I see as I canvass.
that looks much worse to prying eyes, than a Dude sitting in his car.
not exactly on topic, but important.. if a Provider lives in a large apartment complex, when you give the room #, also tell how to get to it.. I've wandered several apartment parking lots in a frantic pace, trying to locate that damn room, that seems to not line up naturally with the room numbers I see as I canvass.
that looks much worse to prying eyes, than a Dude sitting in his car.
Ohhhhh, nothing's worse than an apartment visit, where the buildings look exactly alike, many turns, building are marked in a way that's hard to see/read. Add on some failing light or night time altogether, and this could be a real nightmare. She's giving turn by turn directions, which is going to be my next point.
The turn by turn method. I....won't visit if you have to get me there this way. "Make a left turn by KFC, on Smith Street. Go down to Brown Ave and you'll see a Merchant Bank. Turn right. [moments of silence on the phone] Are you there yet"
Getting instructions this way is difficult, dangerous, and highly frustrating. A, I don't like driving with a phone to my ear, because....it's ILLEGAL, aaaand, oh yeah, dangerous. Oh, I'm sure it's so much fun explaining to the cop at the [accident] scene that I'm on my way to see this girl from BP/Eccie.
C, there's always a weird sounding/spelling street that's hard to identify if you're not familiar with the area, or the street marker is hard to see. Of course, combine this whole process with bad weather and/or failing light.
Yeah, just give me an intersection, then a call where you can voice me the notel, if not obvious (some notels are grouped in proximity) and the room number. The smoother this goes, the better, for both sides.
Oh, and if I see a 'random' guy outside, on his cell phone, for no definable reason, I'm going to assume the worst.
I just hate trying to take an inconspicuous route and running into pimps. Fortunately, all the pimls I have run into have been some pretty cordial outstanding citizens and good Christian men. Except for that one guy, but that's another story for another time.
@ 'close' vs 'real close'
