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11-09-2014, 03:32 PM
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#31
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Mar 28, 2012
Location: Tel Aviv
Posts: 6,287
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thathottnurse
My point is, I try not to use lawyers - unless we're in bed. Most overrated, made-up "necessity" I can think of. Its a racket. Like catholic priests before people could read the Bible for themselves - and just as corrupt. Lawyers like to create a cultural mentality that they are needed for practically everything. That everyone is entitled to this or that. The fault there is that only the people who can afford them get the entitlements. Its classism dressed up as "justice" and one of the biggest lies of America's concept of equality. Fuck lawyers. There's way too many of them encouraging way too many more that their overindulged entitlement is a right and not a privilege.
In all seriousness, I hold lawyers (not the law, but lawyers) primarily responsible for the cancer that's eating away at our culture.
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Ironically, I consider nurses and prostitutes two of the highest professions!!!
I apologize for my previous post to you, you had a nice reply.
As for the lawyer jokes, lawyer hating and what not, I could care less about that, I've retired, and everyone has heard it all before. Every profession has bad people in it.
Now, as to what is ruining society, it is feminists, faggots, freeloaders, freedom haters, and 'firmative action.
Why feminists at the top of the list?
If smart, educated women folk don't start having more babies in Western society, the Muslim motherfuckers are going to overtake us all. The feminists encourage women to waste their lives on a career, when they are more suited to taking care of children and making a home for their husbands, whether their husbands are whoremongering assholes or not.
(I think on this board we can all agree a woman shouldn't hold it against a man if he is a whoremonger!)
Women certainly have some grievances concerning Western culture and their place in it, but fuck - compare it to how the Muslims treat their women!
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11-09-2014, 03:46 PM
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#32
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 3, 2010
Location: Clarksville
Posts: 61,105
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What a schmuck.
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11-09-2014, 03:51 PM
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#33
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Sep 3, 2011
Location: Here
Posts: 7,567
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IIFFOFRDB
Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
A: Senator.
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: Accountants know they're boring.
Q: What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?
A: A jury.
Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?
A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.
Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
Q: What are lawyers good for?
A: They make used car salesmen look good.
Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
A: They're both extinct.
Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
A: Senator.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
A: Taller
Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick falls off when you are dead.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: Know how copper wire was invented?
A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: Their lips are moving.
Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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You forgot one.
Q: What do you call a Lawyer with a wooden leg?
A: Shit on a stick
Jim
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11-09-2014, 05:17 PM
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#34
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Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Location: Steeler Nation
Posts: 18,688
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yssup Rider
Welcome back Bambino!
You haven't been missed, except by the stupidest among us, who doubtlessly feel a shitload smarter now that you're here to occupy the bottom rung again!
Any other incredibly awkward personal shit you want to start up?
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So assup - is this your way of saying you missed bam? You definitely are "the stupidest among us" when it comes to discussing politics. The only topics you can speak semi-coherently about are UT football and the Hippie Hollow gay scene.
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11-09-2014, 05:48 PM
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#35
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 16, 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 51,038
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thathottnurse
In all seriousness, I hold lawyers (not the law, but lawyers) primarily responsible for the cancer that's eating away at our culture.
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Shakespeare didn't like them either.
I don't think he slept with any, or at least I don't recall him admitting it.
And I understand about the "cancer" ....
Keep screening well .... would hate for you to get a tumor.
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11-09-2014, 06:32 PM
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#36
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jul 7, 2010
Location: Dive Bar
Posts: 42,950
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lustylad
So assup - is this your way of saying you missed bam? You definitely are "the stupidest among us" when it comes to discussing politics. The only topics you can speak semi-coherently about are UT football and the Hippie Hollow gay scene.
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You're absolutely correct. I've been to Hippy Hollow twice. I saw lots of hot nude chicks. Asswipe Zifflle brought up the gaymo splash days. He must have them marked on his calendar. He prolly organized them. AssWipe Ziffle, the lazy stupid pig brother of Arnold Ziffle. Hey Ziffle, you broke the truce. Scumbags do.
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11-09-2014, 06:58 PM
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#37
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Account Disabled
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusLover
Shakespeare didn't like them either.
I don't think he slept with any, or at least I don't recall him admitting it.
And I understand about the "cancer" ....
Keep screening well .... would hate for you to get a tumor.
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Some of my favorite and best clients are lawyers. I couldn't care less what they do in their personal/professional life. No doubt I have given the best of myself to pleasure some pretty despicable POS, lawyers or not. Their money treats me just fine. No need to find out how great or deplorable a person in outside our time together. Its one of the things I like best about being a whore.
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11-09-2014, 07:08 PM
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#38
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 16, 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 51,038
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thathottnurse
Its one of the things I like best about being a whore.
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Then the least you could do is to extend them some professional courtesy.
They are whoring to whore with whores.
It's the trickle down theory. That's what gets your sheets wet.
And keeps the economy moving toward redistributing assets.
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11-09-2014, 10:08 PM
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#39
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 3, 2010
Location: Clarksville
Posts: 61,105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bambino
You're absolutely correct. I've been to Hippy Hollow twice. I saw lots of hot nude chicks. Asswipe Zifflle brought up the gaymo splash days. He must have them marked on his calendar. He prolly organized them. AssWipe Ziffle, the lazy stupid pig brother of Arnold Ziffle. Hey Ziffle, you broke the truce. Scumbags do.
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When you came in here and shot off your mouth, you did, Pissant.
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11-10-2014, 12:26 AM
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#40
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Account Disabled
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusLover
Then the least you could do is to extend them some professional courtesy.
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Bahahaha!!! Ya right! Because they would be so professionally courteous to me in the real world. What universe does that happen in?
Lawyers have basically created an industry for themselves that deliberately tears apart people's lives for money - and they love it. An industry that deliberately destroy companies and business owners for money. To hell with right or wrong, when lawyers see a weakness, rather than attempt to heal or fix it, they exploit it, exacerbating the mental, emotional and financial difficulties of others for their own gain without any shame or cognisance of the ripple effect on others.
If lawyers were hookers they would have no problem gathering info on a client and blackmailing him with it. Hell, if the fish were big enough they'd just say, fuck the blackmailing, I'm getting a book deal..what's collateral damage? Think: Erica Bass.
Thank God most of us established, reputable whores make an effort to do no harm. Most reputable lawyers make doing harm their daily goal and reward themselves accordingly. I'm just happy to get some of that money and actually put it toward something good in the world: my family.
The professional courtesy is that I don't kick them out of my incall when they tell me what they do for a living. I even smile bigger and take their cocks deeper down my throat. Its the least I can do for the most successful bunch of sociopaths in the world.
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11-10-2014, 12:45 AM
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#41
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Sep 3, 2011
Location: Here
Posts: 7,567
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thathottnurse
Some of my favorite and best clients are lawyers. I couldn't care less what they do in their personal/professional life. No doubt I have given the best of myself to pleasure some pretty despicable POS, lawyers or not. Their money treats me just fine. No need to find out how great or deplorable a person in outside our time together. Its one of the things I like best about being a whore.
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You at least have something in common with most lawyers. They'll fuck anything too if the money is right.
Jim
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11-10-2014, 12:48 AM
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#42
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Account Disabled
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Ya but if they die.....I stop.
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11-10-2014, 12:55 AM
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#43
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Sep 3, 2011
Location: Here
Posts: 7,567
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thathottnurse
Ya but if they die.....I stop.
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Well it's nice to hear you're not that low.
Jim
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11-10-2014, 06:59 AM
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#44
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jul 7, 2010
Location: Dive Bar
Posts: 42,950
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yssup Rider
When you came in here and shot off your mouth, you did, Pissant.
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That's wasn't The Dealio asswipe and you know it. Stupid, lazy pig brother of Arnold Ziffle. Oink oink you dirty pig.
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11-10-2014, 09:12 AM
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#45
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 3, 2010
Location: Clarksville
Posts: 61,105
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Must be boring in Pissburgh, for one of their best and brightest to come back here.
Great job, Bambino.
I guess we've got to do this again until you beg for mercy?
How about NO?
Save your elementary school taunts and unintelligible spewing for the short bus.
Thanks for playing. Now fuck off.
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