What Do Providers Look For In A Hobbyist?

[enderwiggin]

Originally Posted by theCFE

Well said, PleasantSurprise. Gents who mentioned money only - that may be the case for most, but it is at the very bottom of the list for me. I'm sure everyone is really curious what I'm looking for in a client.

Number one - must be able / willing to have an intelligent conversation. This is how I find out if we have anything in common; commonalities point to compatibility. It means the difference between WFFF vs NMTF. I will always prefer WFFF clients. If you can make me laugh, you're golden. My favorite bedroom antics have always been with men who were able to make me legitimately lol. It really doesn't matter what you look like or what your build is, so long as you have a great personality. If you're able to talk geeky with me, that is platinum. Knowing who David Tennant, Matt Smith, or Joss Whedon are and why they might be important will actually make my panties catch on fire.

Number two - age is a factor. I prefer my age (33) - twenty years older (53). I will see people outside of that range given other factors, I'm simply most attracted to that age range. Younger, and I feel creepy; much older, and I feel icky. Although that depends on the older man - how he keeps in shape, how vibrant and youthful his spirit is. This age range, in general, is filled with men who I share common interests and experiences with, which goes back to number one.
To put this rationale into perspective: my ATF client is twenty years older, great personality, attractive, very talented BCD; my ATF human being is my age, and I swear my brain was split in half at some point, and half was put in their skull. Every time I see them, conversation is on point, and the laughter is in mass quantities. I attribute this to growing up at the same time, leading to massive similarities.
My sexual attraction sweet spot seems to be for men in their forties. I don't know why; it was that way when I was twenty, and it's that way now. Watch, when I'm fifty, I'll be going Mama Cougar on every 40-something in the surrounding area.

Number three - how they treat me. This begins from first contact... Do they provide me with all requested info without argument, complaint, or falsehood? Do they take the time to introduce themselves, respecting my time and schedule, or do they send their request in a short burst of text-ese with no regard for my desire to not hobby past pumpkin time? (Example: "R u available?" - sent past midnight, no name or identifying info; not that it matters, messages like that go straight in the trash bin. ) Are they understanding of the fact that I have a life and career outside of this, and may not be able to answer right away? Are they willing to schedule in advance rather than expecting a last minute appointment?
I read profiles, and choose those with a clear preference for DFK. I love to kiss; it's the number one thing I'm missing IRL, and the number one reason I'm here. If a client doesn't greet me with a kiss, I suspect I'm going to have a shitty time; if their kisses never go past teeth, I KNOW I'm going to have a shitty time. I can count the number of times that's happened on one hand with fingers left over, but the fact I'm using any fingers at all makes me want to use one in particular. I don't care how much money gets tossed down on the counter - if you can't give me a BFE, do us both a favor and GTFO. I'm not here for the cash, I'm here for the sheet-soaking thrill of illicit lust... If you can't surrender to the moment with me and kiss me with passion, those sheets are not going to get soaked, and that makes me a sad panda.

Number four - attraction / attractiveness. This is ruled by number one. Physical attraction - I like a man who takes care of himself - not necessarily to the point where they're sporting a six pack, but cleanliness inside and out are wonderful traits. I abhor smoking; I'm allergic to it, and the stench and taste it leaves behind is repulsive. Imagine if I ate corpses and rolled around in dog shit right before you came over. It's no fun.
Facial hair - I LOVE it. Something about a well trimmed beard or goatee just makes me want to rub my tits all over it. Stand alone mustaches, however, remind me of gay pornstars or my grandfather - neither of which I find sexy. I would rather you be clean-shaven than mustachioed.
I like chest hair, and will snicker in my head if it looks like you shaved your body for any reason other than competitive swimming. Back hair is no one's favorite. Pubes are much nicer trimmed.
Brushed teeth are awesome, but making use of my mouthwash is better than nothing - especially if you just had onions for lunch. Or skoal, or boiled ass.
Hair - curly, straight, long, short, bald... I don't care. Keep it clean and un-dyed. Silver foxes make me wet.

I'm sure there are other factors, of course, but that's what hits my mind at the moment.
TL;DR - conversation, cleanliness, respect, age are all more important than money to me.

Sweet baby Tebow... Just checked one provider off my list. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I hobby because its convenient and I like strippers and whores. Nothing about the above litany of desired hobbyist traits strikes me as convenient or "stripperish/whorish". If I wanted a girlfriend, wife or SO, I'd have one.

I show up on time with the correct donation. I'm clean, respectful and funny. I don't call or text a thousand times; I apologize if I have to cancel; I rarely try to do last minute appointments. In other words, I'm a good client and I reserve the right to keep our relationship strictly business.

Sure, it'd be great if my mechanic were a guy I got along with and liked and we had all kinds of things in common. But I'm still just paying him to fix my fucking car.

[PleasantSurprise]

Originally Posted by zme

Pleasant: nice to see that you like to see someone plan things ahead, I can't tell you how many times I have contacted a woman a few days ahead of time to have them say "Oh that is too far away, contact me closer to the time". One even asked to be contacted same day only. I find that annoying as I usually need to plan ahead. As it turns out even hobbyists have real lives outside the hobby and some require advance planning.
Just letting you know that sometimes people become what they are trained to do and now I am not sure whether a girl is going to get annoyed if I call her well in advance or not.

This could be approached from both sides.

The provider could indicate on her website, showcase, profile, etc when it is best to contact her for a date. If she prefers to be contacted......... same day, a day or two in advance, or if she needs even more of a heads up.

Someone like yourself could ask the provider directly....... I am considering scheduling a date with you, how much advance notice do you prefer? Do you prefer I contact you same day, or a day or two in advance, or do you need more of a heads up?

I find it disappointing when a client contacts a provider for a date, and she bitches at him for either calling last minute or calling too far in advance. If I were a client, that would be the biggest turn off for me. Any intelligent provider knows that word of mouth travels quickly.

Originally Posted by theCFE

Number two - age is a factor. I prefer......

Number three - how they treat me. This begins from first contact... Do they provide me with all requested info without argument, complaint, or falsehood? Do they take the time to introduce themselves, respecting my time and schedule........

Number four - attraction......

I agree that age can play a big role and is something that providers should indicate on the places they advertise online. I personally prefer men 45-70 years old because discussing business and a conversation that challenges me and makes me think is my ultimate. Compatibility would seem easier to determine if......... providers would indicate their top few things that they look for in clients, as it would give clients a chance pause briefly and read to determine compatibility, or if clients would join a site that allows them to write about their self, as it would at least give providers a chance at reading to learn more. It is a two way street that reduces the need for mind reading.

I find myself laughing sometimes when a client meets a provider and then complains, and when I look at her website, I think to myself, what in the world on her website made you think that you would be compatible? I try to understand things from that angle. I am more inclined to rock a mans world when I feel like he is interested in me and has done some reading to learn about me.

One night with friends at the bar I was speaking frankly to a friend that I new from ages back...... I told him three things....... brush your teeth, wash your dick, and be polite/respectful.

[sexxytexxan]

Originally Posted by enderwiggin

Sweet baby Tebow... Just checked one provider off my list. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I hobby because its convenient and I like strippers and whores. Nothing about the above litany of desired hobbyist traits strikes me as convenient or "stripperish/whorish". If I wanted a girlfriend, wife or SO, I'd have one.

I get what you're saying, but I really go for the whole gfe. It's a large part of my enjoyment.

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

I find it disappointing when a client contacts a provider for a date, and she bitches at him for either calling last minute or calling too far in advance. If I were a client, that would be the biggest turn off for me. Any intelligent provider knows that word of mouth travels quickly.

I agree. Some of the first providers I ever contacted bitched me out for calling to far in advance (a week was appropriate, I thought) and so I got in the habit of calling a day in advance at most. I'm a planner, though, so this kind of thing really didn't work too well for me. I've found that there are providers who don't live in the minute, though, and my experience with them is usually far more memorable.

[PleasantSurprise]

Originally Posted by Rubchasertx

To me, a great client is one who contacts me for a date a couple days in advance, or same day or a week ahead, but basically he schedules a time and then leaves me alone, understanding I have a life outside of my secret fantasy. Scheduling that far in advance is great as long as the provider doesn't forget about it. (Obviously this has happened to me several times) I would recommend clients asking the provider how much in advance it is best to schedule with her....... treating each provider as if you are trying to make scheduling as easy for her as possible.

First meetings are not always easy at knowing exactly what a client wants, and discussing the details makes me hesitant as to your affiliation with Lewis Edwards and other government related agencies. With this in mind, I tend to lean towards clients who are members of websites that allow you to share information about yourself. It is helpful to providers knowing what you are into, at the same time it is a hard thing for us to approach. Couldn't this be taken care of within the first 5 minutes? Talking about activities....... very touchy subject to the providers that want to stay out of jail.

Perks go to the clients who make us feel special. Clients stand out to me when they bring me something, even when small in size. A five dollar this or that still shows me that you thought about me prior to walking in the door. Like what for example. A $5 box of chocolates? We don't want to hurt your diet or anything. 2-5 boxes (assuming a "low volume" provider) of chocolate per day would put you on the path to being Veruca Salt! Eliminate the guesswork...... Tell me about yourself, what is your favorite dessert, do you like cheesecake, candles, do you like to read, any books you like, gift cards to anywhere specifically?

Men that take their time will get more of me than those that jump my bones within 60 seconds of saying hello. As a romantic, I can turn into many things once my door has been slowly opened, but I personally tend to lean towards slow beginnings. Are time extensions granted to clients for the "slow roll?" Holly, I was pondering our date tomorrow afternoon and I am uncertain if one hour would be enough........ if we happen to hit it off and need more time, is your schedule flexible or should we plan for another day and time? I am not sure if I will need two hours, but I would like to meet you and start off with one.

When it comes to the money, discussing it is the biggest turn off and turn away that any man can do. Personally, talking about it makes the experience empty and nothing more than a dollar value. This I like. It eliminates the opportunity for the dreaded upsell. +1 Know what you are paying before you go in and leave it on the table when you leave. I don't view time together as thank you's for your dollar. I view time together as experiences, and after we have met, I want to see the clients that I view as an overall gentleman, respecting boundaries and....... paying the agreed upon donation with that, the rest falls into place. A favored client of mine would be one whom I don't have to tell what to pay...... but instead he stays with me as long as he wants, and can do the math on his own. I do not think a client should have to be told what to pay, it should not be confusing.

In response to your red statements, I added my $0.02 in black bold.

Originally Posted by enderwiggin

I hobby because its convenient and I like strippers and whores.

I show up on time with the correct donation. I'm clean, respectful and funny. I don't call or text a thousand times; I apologize if I have to cancel; I rarely try to do last minute appointments. In other words, I'm a good client and I reserve the right to keep our relationship strictly business.

Are you saying hobbyland is full of strippers and whores?

You come across as someone who doesn't make this complicated. You know what you want and you go after it...... great application of the KISS principle.

[Guest100613]

Golly, I'm so sorry that, as a provider, when faced with a thread that specifically asks providers what their preferences might be, that I went ahead and posted my preferences. How silly of me!
Let me allay any fears before they run rampant - nothing I said is an absolute requirement. They are simply preferences. I'm not here to find a boyfriend - I'm here specifically to avoid having a boyfriend. I don't look at this as match.com, I look at it as a p4p version of adultfriendfinder.

I get the impression that a few of you would be content with a well greased glory hole, so long as it didn't talk to you or expect anything other than your regular semen deposit. I get it - it takes the complication of human interaction away. That's not me. I am a very passionate individual; there may be a few who can attest to the value of compatibility when it comes to ramping that passion up to eleven. I was simply trying to let people know what really gets me going, which all goes back to intellectual compatibility. Since I DO enjoy my orgasms VERY much, does it not make sense to want to have as many as possible, as intense as possible?

Of course clean, on time, and drama free are the absolute minimum requirements. Are you only interested in the absolute minimum in your encounter, or would you welcome anything that helped the session go above and beyond?

Ultimately, if anyone is uninterested in seeing me because I dared to be forthright and honest on a SHMB, I can't change your mind. There are plenty of ladies in Houston who would be happy to take your money. Since I'm not in it for the money, I don't feel the need to crawl on the floor for the possibility of receiving an envelope, maybe. I would rather spend time with someone who values what I bring to the encounter, which is all encompassing lust on an atomic level. If this is of no interest to you, then feel free to check me off of your list; I would question, however, how I managed to get on your list to begin with, since I've never made my sensuality or motivations secret.

[Wakeup]

I just show up, whip out my huge cock, and the providers are willing to not look for anything else...

[enderwiggin]

Originally Posted by theCFE

I'm not here to find a boyfriend - I'm here specifically to avoid having a boyfriend. I don't look at this as match.com, I look at it as a p4p version of adultfriendfinder.

I get the impression that a few of you would be content with a well greased glory hole, so long as it didn't talk to you or expect anything other than your regular semen deposit. I get it - it takes the complication of human interaction away. That's not me. I am a very passionate individual; there may be a few who can attest to the value of compatibility when it comes to ramping that passion up to eleven. I was simply trying to let people know what really gets me going, which all goes back to intellectual compatibility. Since I DO enjoy my orgasms VERY much, does it not make sense to want to have as many as possible, as intense as possible?

Of course clean, on time, and drama free are the absolute minimum requirements. Are you only interested in the absolute minimum in your encounter, or would you welcome anything that helped the session go above and beyond?

Ultimately, if anyone is uninterested in seeing me because I dared to be forthright and honest on a SHMB, I can't change your mind. There are plenty of ladies in Houston who would be happy to take your money. Since I'm not in it for the money, I don't feel the need to crawl on the floor for the possibility of receiving an envelope, maybe. I would rather spend time with someone who values what I bring to the encounter, which is all encompassing lust on an atomic level. If this is of no interest to you, then feel free to check me off of your list; I would question, however, how I managed to get on your list to begin with, since I've never made my sensuality or motivations secret.

Easy, princess. Perhaps I was a bit brash in my comments, because it was one particular thing you said that raised my eyebrows...

Originally Posted by theCFE

if you can't give me a BFE, do us both a favor and GTFO.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've made your point: you're not here for the money, you're here for the cock. But I call bullshit. If you were just a nympho lookin' for a deep-dicking, you'd sling pussy for free. I know nymphos; that's exactly what they do. You chose to enter this seedy little world of ours on the seller's end of the transaction. Your reasons are your own, they don't really matter to me. The bottom-line for me is you're conducting business. So don't look down your nose at me when I say I reserve the right to keep our relationship professional.

Look, all I'm saying is you can't have it both ways. On the one hand, some of you providers advertise "deep personal connections", GFEs, and how "the chemistry" is what you're all about. But then on the other, you'll get bent of shape if a hobbyist gets clingy and calls/texts regularly just to say hi, or invites you out for dinner or drinks or some goofy shit. You'll complain that they're "blurring the lines" and getting confused about what this hobby of ours is all about.

For me anyway, this is about money and fucking. And I've had some great sex with some awesome women in the hobby and we never got personal. In my jaded, dumb-ape opinion, if you're here for anything other than that, you're setting yourself up for trouble.

I understand this thread was just about preferences, but your "BFE or GTFO!" comment just seemed weird to me.

And let me further underscore my own ridiculousness and hypocrisy... I still want to fuck you.

[Guest100613]

Originally Posted by enderwiggin

If you were just a nympho lookin' for a deep-dicking, you'd sling pussy for free. I know nymphos; that's exactly what they do.
...
And let me further underscore my own ridiculousness and hypocrisy... I still want to fuck you.

I can neither confirm nor deny the amount of pussy that gets slung for free.

For what it's worth, I have no problem with OTC interactions, so long as there's enough time. My schedule is weird; sometimes it allows leeway, sometimes it doesn't. Preference goes to those who are understanding, and I'm more likely to spend that time with someone who makes me laugh, rather than someone who inspires a choir of crickets.

Why thank you! The line forms at the left. Remember, no fucking without tonsil-sucking.

[BatteriesNotIncluded]

Originally Posted by bbkid

I always wonder when she is yelling "gimme more, gimme more" if she talking about my little pee-pee or money. Damn, I wish they would just come out and say what they want.

Let me clarify that for you. She means more of your money

Be clean, on time, respectful and leave at appropriate time. She'll think you're golden.

[BatteriesNotIncluded]

Originally Posted by theCFE

Why thank you! The line forms at the left. Remember, no fucking without tonsil-sucking.

Stands patiently to the left side...

[zme]

Originally Posted by theCFE

I can neither confirm nor deny the amount of pussy that gets slung for free.

For what it's worth, I have no problem with OTC interactions, so long as there's enough time. My schedule is weird; sometimes it allows leeway, sometimes it doesn't. Preference goes to those who are understanding, and I'm more likely to spend that time with someone who makes me laugh, rather than someone who inspires a choir of crickets.

Why thank you! The line forms at the left. Remember, no fucking without tonsil-sucking.

CFE: I am sure you of all people know that different hobbyists look for different things and find different things desirable.
There are hobbyists who might just put up with your desires because you are hot as hell and they want to see you and there are others who want to see you specifically because of the things you expect.
Both hobbyists and providers are unique in their expectations and that should be no surprise. And it should equally not be a surprise that just because one or the other does not match ideal expectations it does not mean that a hobbyist won't see a provider or vice-versa. My understanding of the spirit of this thread is that it is not a list of things from a provider that would completely rule out seeing a hobbyist so much as a providers statement of what an ideal hobbyists would be.
To the earlier allegory of a car mechanic, the minimum I expect from a car mechanic would be that they would fix my car. But my ideal mechanic would also strike up a conversation, explain his understanding of what problem my car had, the way he thought about the choices of action and why he was recommending a particular one. But I would see a mechanic if all he did was fix my car reliably. He would not be my ideal.
I think the provider views on this thread also seem to skew towards those who do hope for a little more sense of connection beyond the business transaction. That is probably because those whos POV is hey just give me your money, do what you need to do and GTFO don't really feel the urge to put that out in public. Might get in the way of the IOP in their next session. But they clearly exist too, maybe even in the majority.
And that is okay too, nothing wrong with feeling the need to pay your mortgage. I don't show up at work every morning to do the crap I do have to do because of my deep love and sense of connection to my employer either. It is a way to pay the bills, any enjoyment I might derive from it is welcome but not absolutely necessary. We are all providers in different ways at different times.

[sexxytexxan]

Originally Posted by theCFE

Remember, no fucking without tonsil-sucking.

super hot

Originally Posted by sexxytexxan

Stands patiently to the left side...

Originally Posted by zme

I don't show up at work every morning to do the crap I do have to do because of my deep love and sense of connection to my employer either. It is a way to pay the bills, any enjoyment I might derive from it is welcome but not absolutely necessary.

fair point

[Raptorcg]

If you treat a woman well, she will do the same and there is nothing better, sounds to me like the general consensuses from providers.

I both applaud and appreciate the insight from the CFE and other providers, anything that helps improve the mutual experience is good information and should be taken as such

I personal go for the more sensual GFE experience providers, I prefer to connect on some level and hope for grace on my poor BFE skills. I find it beyond measure that these ladies can generate a simulated short term relationship out of thin air, a challenge I have yet to master from a hobbyist point of view, for which these ladies do daily. So I tip my hat to them.

“You can love money and you can love woman, but anytime you combine them, things get complicated.” -me

Set phasers too full, cup of earl grey...hot, that's not a moon, Shiny, By your command...geek references brought to you by raptor. (if you use all these terms in a session it was a good day

[Glynette]

Originally Posted by Raptorcg

If you treat a woman well, she will do the same and there is nothing better, sounds to me like the general consensuses from providers.

I both applaud and appreciate the insight from the CFE and other providers, anything that helps improve the mutual experience is good information and should be taken as such

I personal go for the more sensual GFE experience providers, I prefer to connect on some level and hope for grace on my poor BFE skills. I find it beyond measure that these ladies can generate a simulated short term relationship out of thin air, a challenge I have yet to master from a hobbyist point of view, for which these ladies do daily. So I tip my hat to them.

“You can love money and you can love woman, but anytime you combine them, things get complicated.” -me

Set phasers too full, cup of earl grey...hot, that's not a moon, Shiny, By your command...geek references brought to you by raptor. (if you use all these terms in a session it was a good day

You. Me. HoloDeck. NOW.

[Raptorcg]

Originally Posted by Glynette

You. Me. HoloDeck. NOW.

LOL...love it!!