NFL and Houston Texans Superthread: Are we ready for some football?

[One-Eyed Willy]

... oooohh, I want some beer and French Fries too!! and satin, man I would love to have coach Cowher... I've been dreaming of this since he retired and I heard talks of him showin interest in the Texans... However fellas, I think Kubes is here to stay.(sidenote: wonder what he'd look like wearing a Cowher flavor saver) But anyway the Texans offence is his baby! Change Kubes, kiss the offense goodbye and I doubt he'd be up for O coordinating position w/same team..

So if Texans fail to make playoffs, change Kubes?? NOPE! I agree with the others, there are too many injuries/excuses not to! Texans have addressed their past issues (run/defense) and finally got enough talent/chemistry for the coaches to showcase their vision. Therefore, I say LET THEM BE regardless of the outcome. Maintaining the roster should be the primary focus.

However, the coaches could use some makeovers! Kubes looks like a Country Club Director or could pass UTR for a banker or financial officer and Wade looks like a Teddy Bear Grandpa that plays Santa Claus in the shopping mall... They don't really have that football-coach look to them..

I think Kubes needs to grow either a beard, mustache,or both, wear a TXN snap-back cap, cut off his sleeves and start cussing out the press. Or just give the press long cold stares when they ask him stupid ass questions ...Although he is a beast on the sideline, he has an overall nice-guy look. He needs to get that "don't fuck with me look!"..hehehe

...Wade needs to borrow one of his daddy's cowboy hats, get a tattoo of a naked stripper on his forearm, grow one of those ZZ-Top beards, wear a patch over his right eye, and have a personal assistant follow him around with a comfy chair for when his D gets off the field. I mean hell, they're off the field for most of the game anyway.... "Relax coach, Hustle and Flow will be out there a while... Will somebody go get the man a beer??"

BTW BOTH need to wear sunglasses at all times, including interviews with the press... And if we get MNF next year, they need to be in the band with Hank!

But anyway, I was checkin out some Leinart Highlights and came across this video where he gets PUNK'D as Kutcher sets him up with a SW and police bust him... pretty funny shit! (starts about the 1min mark)

[kerwil62]

Catalyst said:

"And if we get MNF next year, they need to be in the band with Hank!"

Hank ain't coming back to MNF. Just sayin........

[Satin]

Cat-man, what happened to your name bro? Now you're 1-eyed Willy?

Good post BL...

Daddio, man I know he's studying up and hopefully he told all his stripper hoes he's gonna be busy the next few weeks....

Damn did you boys just see that game? Fucking Tebow mania out of control now. Hell, I'm going to get a Tebow jersey tomorrow...lol

[TheDon]

I hope they win their division and the Wildcard game play and play us after the first round bye!

[One-Eyed Willy]

Originally Posted by Satin

Cat-man, what happened to your name bro? Now you're 1-eyed Willy? l

Well, the Catalyst went in to the local SC and headed to the back for some dances and "extras"... As extras concluded, the Catalyst got shot in the eye by his own gotdamn load!!... Could hardly see a damn thing and the eye was stuck shut...

After vigorous rinsing in the restroom and once the vision slowly started to return,, a new version of my digital self was born

... Lover of the seas and tool which pussies please,,, I stand before thee,,, as One-Eyed Willy...hehehe... Now who's been drinkin my gotdamn whisky?? ARRRHH!

[One-Eyed Willy]

Well, awhile back some of my eccie buddies seemed to want to throw Schaub under the bus.. Him being the Captain of Captains of my favorite team, I figured I'd play white knight and slide in some stats to show how he has been the most consistent individual player of the franchise over the past 3 yrears.. With a BIG help of his buddy AJ80, of course!

However, I also eluded that neither he or Dre-the-Great are my favorite player.... In fact, my favorite Texan is ARIAN FOSTER!. Well, as promised, here are a few BIG reasons why (other than his play)....

(some shit U know some shit U wish U did. So my sincerest apologies if my rundown bores you)

(#1) I love stories of how underrated/bottom-of-the-barrel draft pics come to the league, camp out on the bench only to get that ONE SHOT and SHOCK THE FUCKIN WORLD. A few names on the list are: Joe Montana '79 3rd Round 82nd pick, Terrel Davis '95 6th Round #196th pick, Tom Brady '00 6th Round #199th, Shannon Sharpe '90 7th Round #192nd, UNDRAFTED: Kurt Warner, ARIAN FOSTER... Does he belong on this list??? hmmmmmm.... So Far

(#2) Foster is a Dreamer, a Writer, a Thinker, a Philosopher and Poet... and a NFL RB??? WTF?? The dude is the classiest man on the field. This is his twitter bio: "I am an aspiring human being. I don't take life too serious, none of us make it out alive. Understand the universe, you'll understand me" To normal fucktards this makes no sense!! However, if you happen to be a thinker, it fires up the brain cells and could spark up a whole debate over different interpretations....NEWAY.. Dos XX move out of the way, Ozzies, get rid of the "s" in your beer, sponsor Arian, change your slogan and proclaim you have The Even More Interesting Man in the World...hehehe.. However, I do wonder what he discusses w/the team after practice.... "Hey fellas, what do you think about Plato's views on the just vs. unjust in The Republic?" response: "Its kind of salty Arian, why do U still play with that stuff?"...hehehe.. and no, Foster I'm not tryin to say your articulate for a football player.. I'm sayin your articulate AND a football player... I like that!

(#3) RESPECT! Titan's CJ-not-even-close-to-1K HOLDS OUT gets a $10mil signing bonus and a guaranteed base salary of $3mil for 2011-12 and plays like a scronny little shit-for-brains with a facial tick. Texans have their KICKER on the books for 2011 for 2.15 mil... Meanwhile, Foster as a Restricted-Rights Free Agent (he signs or leaves NFL) does NOT hold out (which he could have w/out penalty) gets offered 1yr ext for LEAGUE MINIMUM (3rd-yr-vet) 525K w/out bonus??? AND HE NEVER COMPLAINS!! .... WTF??? THE MAN IS CARRYING THE TEXANS TO THE PLAYOFFS AS OUR BEST RECEIVER AND RUSHER so far this year, setting all kinds of FRANCHISE RECORDS, but OUR kicker is making more bread??? WHY?? FOSTER, BAR NONE, IS THE MOST UNDERPAID PLAYER IN THE GAME!! His contract is up at the end of the year!! Well, shit do we want him or what??? So, I will remain glued to the Team's website and media outlets during this bye week, with fingers crossed.. And, I really hope the Texans will get it done before it becomes a distraction in the playoffs....Sign him and TAG him!
I think its about that time the TEXANS BOW BACK TO AF#23!!!

Hell, I like him so much I might even buy his Jersey NEXT YEAR AFTER HE SIGNS WITH THE COWGIRLS... I might make a few modifications to the team logos of course..
And he is having a MVP type year BTW but will probably be an honorable mention next to Aaron Rogers
______________________________ ___


Side Note:

guess who the butler is....hehehe

[Satin]

Cat-man, uh I mean 1-eyed Willy, what SC were you at bro? You better not be screwing none of my hoes...lol

Dude, I loved the post on Foster. Very nicely done. I love that dude. I saw a ESPN special on him and it made me respect him even more. I like everything about him. Now, with that being said, I still think Adrian Peterson is the best in the game right now, but Foster might be the most underpaid player in the game...

As long as you not trying to sell me on Dopey it's all good...

Lmao at the "picture" of Leinart & yeah, the butler looks really happy. I wonder why?

[Daddio]

I hope that pic of Lienert comes true and he bags all those trophies he is with!!!

I still Like Dopey, I never said he sucked, he is just so limited because he is so slow with his decisions and slower with his feet. He cannot extend the play when his protections breaks down. His pocket awaresness is not very good either. I hope he comes back this year if he can.

I also think Leinert will do ok, I am really hoping he bust out and becomes a star. Replacing Dopey won't be that hard. I also hope Kubes does not hamstring Lienert with boring or predictable play calling but I bet he will.

Bye week sucks. Satin never takes a bye week at the titty bars!! He is the man!! Can he play QB?

I did go to one of the training camp workouts and was impressed with TJ Yates as well. Strong arm, moves well, he could develop into something.

[Satin]

Dammit Daddio, it's like we're twins in our thinking bro. You just took my post out my mouth...damn you...

Take a week from the clubs? Are you nuts? Fuck that....

QB? Nah....tailback, WR & free safety bro....

[One-Eyed Willy]

Originally Posted by Daddio

I still Like Dopey, I never said he sucked, he is just so limited because he is so slow with his decisions and slower with his feet. He cannot extend the play when his protections breaks down. His pocket awaresness is not very good either. I hope he comes back this year if he can.

I don't intend to kick a dead horse but,,, I agree with all of the above except pocket awareness... There are a few bone-head plays where he's blind sided or gets ran down from behind. However, more times than not, I see him either taking shots to the grill upon pin-point pass delivery or laying down for an inevitable sack... TRUE, there have been those never-to-forget heart breakers on busted plays, so if that's where your coming from, I get it... and I want him back too. I think were better off with him than with out him...

Satin... I agree that hand offs and check down passes to Hustle and Flow may be our MAIN threat right now especially with an untested QB. However, I also believe in Dre (and OD for that matter)... But R U saying if Dre is in single coverage you'd rather see a rush or a check down?? Personally, I don't care if Kubes takes the snap, if Dre is in SINGLE COVERAGE,,,LAUNCH HIM ONE!! Come on man,,,He's comming back now will be itching for the ball, I know deep down you want some more of this!!!... As far as your man Peterson,, I love that guy too and it would be tough to say my man Foster is a superior RB... HOWEVER, the national debate between the two already started back in August. Check this out... BTW guess who missed 2 games THIS YEAR and averages more all-purpose yards than any other player at any other position than QB... If our beloved #23 gets a ring... He may just take the title of best RB in the league with him... We need to get this deal done now!! His stock may just rise beyond reach if we wait till the off season....


and satin just for my amusement, which do you enjoy more?? the SC?? or reliant stadium?? hehehe... I know I'm a MF for askin that.. just couldn't help myself... hehehe... and congrats on starting a thread w/potential to reach 50+pages

And fellas come on... who is the butler?
need a hint???... here is 2
1. he held out with CJ-lucky-to-get 0.7K...
2. what happens when you tell Dre his best bud is a looser?

BTW if you couldn't tell already, I'm lovin this thread fellas. I'm the dude that annoys the co-workers with all the TXN talk and watches every game twice. Praise, critic, or otherwise I love all the posts and we got some GREAT TXN fans on here...BTW where did all the Steelers/Boy fans go??? hehehe
Like I sense in most of you, I also have that knot in my stomach due to years of heart-breaking Houston Football... However we have the most complete team in the NFL right now with a champion-like attitude to boot. I've got my eyes on INDY this year and disappointed or not, I'm not going to stray next year..

[One-Eyed Willy]

Since there is a hard salary cap in the NFL, and TXNS may face having to loose 1 of 2 great players, who goes?? SUPER MARIO OR ARIAN???...And the debate is on..... Both have good back-ups, both will be offered near-record-breaking or record-breaking contracts from other teams that TXNS may not be able to match.... Both are arguably top 5 if not 3 at their position and look to have their best years ahead of them... Neither have played for any other team and seem to be loyal to the TXNS...Solution I want to see,,,, offer both a deal/extension before playoffs, and avoid the distraction... If one of them or both bite great!...

Foster, I think, wouldn't mind even being franchised.. The franchise tag would allow him to get a great deal, he doesn't seem to be the type to hold out for the highest bidder... (but who knows?)

Mario, seemed to get acclimated to the new system well as OLB and seemed to be on the way to racking up more sacks this year than ever before... However, I've heard former NFL coaches say that the 3-4 favors Reed more than Mario... hmmmmm

[Satin]

Willy, man I gotta be honest, I liked Cat-Man better. Dude you bring up some excellent points and you're adding a lot of life to this thread. Even when I disagree with you, it's all good.

I had a 3-some tonight at my new favorite spot with 2 hoes that I've been fucking, so I decided to ask them to both be with me together and they were cool with it.

Damn bro that's a tough one...Reliant or strip clubs? Wow, I have to think about that one. The only thing that makes me blow off pussy is football and basketball...but strip clubs are high on my list too....

As far as Foster or Mario...dude that's easy...not even a decision for me....Foster without a doubt....fuck Mario. (yeah I said it)....Brooks is doing just fine...

Can't wait til GameDay tomorrow....there should be plenty drunk hoes out there & I'm excited to be going to the game. Go Coogs!!! Eat 'em up!!

[One-Eyed Willy]

Originally Posted by Satin

Damn bro that's a tough one...Reliant or strip clubs? Wow, I have to think about that one. The only thing that makes me blow off pussy is football and basketball...but strip clubs are high on my list too....

!!
LMMFAO ....Well ok play the politician...
As far catalyst, I liked the name too as a catalyst in chemistry speeds up a chemical reaction by cuttinng out the activation energy yet it remains unchanged by the reaction. I figured on eccie the catalyst would cut out all the bs needed to get the pussy. And just go straght in by way of donation and information among peers. That's the thought process. I will always be the catalyst.. but like Jay-z I dumbed down for my audience.... much easier that way. Besides, going back to the basics, are'nt we all dicks on pirate shipes looking for pussy island? "Have you heard of the place, there is one of each race, where they look so much
better with cum on their face? PUSSY AHOY! PUSSY AHOY! PUSSY AHOY!. When the windpicks up, weather gets rough, u think of the one who can't get enough, PUSSY AHOY! PUSSY AHOY! PUSSY AHOY! When the whisky runs dry, and not another in sight, were do we go to make an end of the
night? PUSSY AHOY! PUSSY AHOY! PUSSY AHOY!...hehehe

[Satin]

Damn dudes it's freaking nuts out here...wow! Willy, Don, Daddio, you boys here? lol

Wait....I think I just saw Bigtex with some U of H cuties...lmao...

Game on!!

[TexasGator]

First, I agreed with Wakeup. Now I'm agreeing with Satin? Fuck it - just pull the trigger now and put me out of my misery.

Unless Mario is willing to take a SUBSTANTIAL reduction in pay, let him go. Need the cap room to sign others. I like him and he turned out to be the smarter 1st round pick than the unnamed 2, but he's damaged goods and he costs too much for what you get in return. He's had a Yao Ming - like injury-plagued career with moments of greatness interspersed. BUT he's been more than adequately replaced.


Arian may be lost to big salary demands, but I hope not