Tactful Way To Shut Her Up

[Bull149]

You might try telling her, "you have some heavy stuff to deal with. Since I can not deal with that and what I came here for, how about us sitting and discussing this for a few minutes. Of course this well be off the clock." You would no doubt want to work on and make the statement a lot smoother and more tactful, but you get the idea.

[TexTushHog]

With respect to the issue of "inherent disrespect for the woman in question," if it's in a pay for play situation, I agree if the conversation is brief or germane to the subject. But for some reason, I have gone to any number of providers who just prattle on about nothing -- at length. Their personal problems. Their relationship issues. Their kids' day care issues, etc. If I'd wanted drama, I'd have stayed at the office! At some point, as a customer who as paid a tidy sum for the hour, it seems to me you can politely try to direct the procedings back on track without being accused of "inherent disrespect for the woman in question."

[China Doll]

TexTushHog, you misunderstand me. I completely agree that a provider should try to be professional at all times. I never talk about my personal problems during a session with a client. That's not what he is paying me for. Politely trying to "direct the proceedings back on track" is entirely different from "shutting her up." It was the seemingly disrespectful wording I objected to, not the disdain for being subjected to the drama in her life. I think Fastgunn cleared it up when he said that if I had received the "earful" that he had, I would have understood why he used that phrase. I hope this explanation suffices.

[Ava Allure]

This obviously bothered you, so the bottom line...Time to find a different lady!! In my opinion, the provider in question should never have burdened you with her personal issues. ASP 101!! You of course will run into this again, but know that there are those providers, such as myself, that are the reason you hobby!! As far as a way out of a situation like that, maybe say something like, it is so nice to relax and not have to talk about drama and the stresses of life, etc. etc. and that it is one of the reasons that keeps you coming back to her...So it is kinda a compliment and hopefully a subtle hint that you are not there to be her shrink! Well sweetie, good luck to you and I hope your next experience is the one that reminds you why you hobby! Muah!!

[pyramider]

One should never mention shrink or shrinkage on a SHMB. Some fellows might be a little sensitive. Muahhh

[Fast Gunn]

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

With respect to the issue of "inherent disrespect for the woman in question," if it's in a pay for play situation, I agree if the conversation is brief or germane to the subject. But for some reason, I have gone to any number of providers who just prattle on about nothing -- at length. Their personal problems. Their relationship issues. Their kids' day care issues, etc. If I'd wanted drama, I'd have stayed at the office! At some point, as a customer who as paid a tidy sum for the hour, it seems to me you can politely try to direct the procedings back on track without being accused of "inherent disrespect for the woman in question."

My objective with this post was two-fold.

Firstly, to come up with a strategy to deal with this recurring problem that I think all of us have encountered in the hobby and I've heard some good ideas. Good solutions to recurring problems will benefit all of us.

Secondly, it was meant as a reminder to the ladies that the gentleman do not want to hear a long litany of complaints about your life. Sorry, but the same goes for gentlemen bending the ear of the provider.

That's not what the session is for. If you really need that, then that's what therapy is for, but not the hobby.

I think life is full of problems for us all, but at least during a session, all the problems should be left outside the door and the primary focus should be on making the time as pleasurable as possible.

Is that asking for too much?

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Sorry, but the same goes for gentlemen bending the ear of the provider.

That's not what the session is for. If you really need that, then that's what therapy is for, but not the hobby.

I think life is full of problems for us all, but at least during a session, all the problems should be left outside the door and the primary focus should be on making the time as pleasurable as possible.

Is that asking for too much?

I have to disagree with this part. It isn't a skill or "menu item" every provider needs to have or offer, but it is a damn attractive one.

There are a handful of professions where listening to a patron's problems or just letting him ramble are an unwritten part of the job. Bartender and hair stylist come to mind. Provider, or "Companion," is another.

And it is a one way street. You don't want to go into the bar and have to listen to some guy babble on about his marriage or the grad school application process (his problems). You do want to be able to let off a little bit of steam about your problems. It is part of the deal when you are paying $10 + tip for the same cocktail you could make at home for a dollar.

The same is true with providers. You are paying her handsomely for her time. Listening to your problems is part of the deal

[China Doll]

I agree with you, ATL. Actually, I have a few regular clients who schedule sessions just so that they can talk for an hour! A gentleman's time can be used however he wants (within reason).

[okcdude1971]

This is the approach Strippers use time to time when they think they can get more $$ out of you; however the reverse is true in this hobby. Perhaps she is an ex-stripper yet to change her method of getting the extra $.