Guys have you ever just wanted to quit I thi I do but it is hard

[guest032712]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_...ives_Anonymous

[T-Can]

For me, I can't say it is sex addiction. It's just fun and I've pretty much gotten through the thrill of it. If I kept up my pace from last year, I would say I'm out of control and that I'm some type of sex addict.

I have not hobbied in almost 3 months because of a civie relationship and some UTR chicks but have found many who have piqued my interest. Don't think I will completely stop until the relatinship is serious (engaged).

See James Bond, there are many reasons we do it and like many have said, you are not alone.

Maybe if we knew your reason, it could help us understand so we could give better advice.

[James_bond 007]

Yah know I think t started for me when I was younger. Had a string of bad relationships where I got hurt slash cheated on. I think I got into hobbying as an outlet for that because I thought that it would make me feel better. (thing is it is like a drug it only makes you feel good for awhile) I also looked for women I was attracted to like Safire because that is what I thought I wanted in life in a way I still do. But this is a business and the feeling that you are looking for isn't real its a fantasy and there is nothing wrong with that. However I feel like this which started out as a way to feel better about me turned me into a slave and a money drainer. I am glad I am not alone I feel alot better that I have support from people in here. Don't expect any support from providers lol

Thanks guys I really hope to be done soon


The funny thing is as I write this I am thinking of going out with a bang with safire and there in lies the problem. I think it's in my head and that needs to stop

I will get help I love the girls but I can do other things with my money and sanity

[Hercules]

This isn't the only expensive hobby. That shiny sports car? After a few years of depreciation, insurance, maintenance (and gawd that first nick or scratch!). You'll be standing in the garage looking at it thinking "For what I spent on this thing I could've gotten a HELLUVA lot pussy". That is if the g/f don't wreck it or the wife don't get it in the divorce.

There's an old saying. "If it floats, flies or fucks then rent don't buy". Ask any married man he'll tell ya. Ain't no such thing as free pussy.....we ALL pay.

Now if you have moral problems boinking professional women that's another thing.

[txirishman]

In a sense-even the mind set with which we view and speak about THIS is an issue. A Hobby. Really?

I guess here's a bigger question-and it goes to the subject of SEX, not just prostitution. Is it a problem, or causing a problem, in any way in your life?

Do your REAL LIFE relationships suffer-or have you stopped even seeking them out because SEX or prostitution satisfies what you need?

Do you find yourself doing things you never thought you'd do-like checking ECCIE from work, keeping a hobby phone/email to separate and protect your OTHER life, or setting aside money in a sneaky fashion so you can visit prostitutes?

Is there risky behavior that IF a buddy told you HE did-you'd shake your head and think HE was an idiot--like driving around during the day looking for streetwalkers, exposing yourself in "public" at strip clubs and seeking bare stripper slides, or propositioning legit massage workers hoping to get extras?

Guys-we're in a uniquely horrible time. In just the last twenty years the availability of porn has gone from magazines behind the counter at the 7/11 to secret availability with a few mouse clicks--and FREE. It feeds an appetite that is within us for a reason that most of us don't WANT to know. IF the issue (SEX) becomes a problem-and it often does--it might be in your (our/my) best interest to figure out the root issue and try to resolve it.

AND-for the guys who say it isn't a problem or issue. I applaud you. But don't minimize the fact that for many-it is. And for many-the glamor of calling it a "hobby" or creating NOT real life relationships with women that without our wallets wouldn't give us the time of day--it IS a problem. As for the WOMEN-they have their own set of issues. For some-SEX is an addiction they struggle with as well-and see a logical reason to getting paid for something they enjoy so much--think about your ATF or most recent GFE (girl friend experience.) But then-go back and read posts by wonderfully seasoned "veteran" workers like Lana and a few others-that struggle in relationships in the REAL world.

IF you have to have a DUAL life (hobby name, hobby persona, hobby email, hobby phone, hobby budget)--you might have a problem. You keep all those parts of your persona secret--it's a problem.

Now-about that expensive sports car. A hobby? Sure. It can be. You wouldn't hide it from your friends and family, right? No big deal if you want to talk about it at the office, right? If you have problems with something-you can turn to thousands for help, right?

Be safe. Be good to yourself. Forgive yourself and others-often and sincerely. And be careful.

[James_bond 007]

That was the best answer I have read. It is time for me to walk away I don't want to have a double life anymore I guess I want to just be normal again. It stars here , time to go back into the sunlight. I am not one of those God freaks or anything but I feel alot better since I walked away I feel free I know that sounds stupid but I won't have to worry anymore and just live.

[TheDuck]

Good Luck Mr. Bond!!

[James_bond 007]

Thanks I will need It...This is not going to be easy at all.....

[Guest112413]

You will want to try some counseling in a sex addiction type setting as well at some point. It's been very tough for me, and I battle it daily. I have good days and bad days, and some days I just dont give a crap. Sometimes I really want to get out and do the right thing, but I'm struggling really hard to remember who I am and what I like to do outside the hobby. So, take it for what you will. I did some counseling, and learned a lot about myself, and why I hobby. But you have to really want to be out to do it successfully. I didn't want it bad enough, and now I'm left with even more shame and helplessness when I do hobby because I know the reasons and the lack of willpower to work my program on a daily basis. However, I've seen several different counselors in dfw, and the best by far IMHO is Lifestar Dallas. Give them a shout and they'll show you things that you didn't think were possible. But be really ready. It's tough to stop, and you will have to find your own rock bottom to be able to start the climb up. Don't do it for anybody else, do it for you. There's one counselor there that I'd recommend above the others, PM me if you want the name. And good luck to you, friend. It's a tough journey. So much easier to just play the game.

[Will Boner]

I ask myself, "why do I do this"? The answer is simple: Why does a dog lick his balls?

But, of course, the dog doesn't have bills to pay, a job to work, and a wife or S.O. to be committed. So that's the rub. It interferes with all those things, and not in a good way.

But sex is normal, and we all seek pleasurable sexual experiences, so how to control it? I think the answer, although not easy is, don't visit this website; don't visit any porn websites. Find something else to fill your time, and do it. Recommit to your job and your relationships. And don't beat yourself up.....technology has made sex so instantly available that almost anyone could be susceptible. With a little discipline, however, this can be controlled. The only important question is, do you really want to?

[James_bond 007]

At this point yes I really want this because this life has to stop all we are is money to these girls and nothing more. Not to say that we should be more but we really news to look out for ourselves in the long run. When all is said and dine and we are at rock bottom will the providers be there no it will just be us dealing with this issue. God bless the girls that do this I know it must be hard but it is hard on us to when we want to stop. I choose to stop ......and the battle for my life and future starts

[cowboyesfan]

[QUOTE=txirishman;1386811
Do you find yourself doing things you never thought you'd do-like checking ECCIE from work, keeping a hobby phone/email to separate and protect your OTHER life, or setting aside money in a sneaky fashion so you can visit prostitutes?

IF you have to have a DUAL life (hobby name, hobby persona, hobby email, hobby phone, hobby budget)--you might have a problem. You keep all those parts of your persona secret--it's a problem.
[/QUOTE]

Would any of these things be an issue if we all lived in, say, Australia where prostitution is legal and there are legal bordellos?

[TheWanderer]

Originally Posted by cowboyesfan

Would any of these things be an issue if we all lived in, say, Australia where prostitution is legal and there are legal bordellos?

Yes of course it would. It may be legal there but I doubt wives drop off their husbands at the bordello while they go to the market.

007's issue and he raises a good point is that there is no real contentment or satisfaction out of this pursuit. It just leads to more and more activity to attempt to satisfy this self-created desire. Plus it's not free, one could be doing something more constructive with their extra funds. Is it better to gamble away your extra money at a blackjack table or use it to help someone in need.
If you have no morals or beliefs or code of honor or just don't care about anything then it's fine....to you.
Unfortunately, we are born with them, some people nourish them, others suppress them.
I'm not judging, that just a fact. Some people are able to escape their morals, deep thoughts and convictions, some people are unable to escape them and some people don't want to escape them.

It seems like a curse.... but is it?
Which one is the real curse?

I'm not referring to you personally Cowboysfan, just to people in general.
I'm in no position to cast stones.

[Diver]

I often think about quitting but I get over that feeling.
Honestly the thrill is overwhelming to me and I don't have control over it.
I guess I don't want to bad enough.

[flboy65]

Not to over-simplify, but I think that if I really wanted to stop, I could do so by finding another "hobby" that I'm really interested in and focusing all of my free time, energy, and disposable income on that new hobby... maybe skydiving, fishing, golf, or xyz... these other hobbies will take your time, and your money as well, maybe faster. The difference is that they are "socially acceptable", and you don't have to sneak around, or hide anything.