Have We All Gone Totally Mad?

[piquant2009]

Originally Posted by tsrv4me

Certain reviews have to be taken with a grain of salt ......Maybe the provider was not exactly what the hobbiest wanted .....but no need for a slashing review...I met a provider on Monday ....She is new and was new to me ...I thought she was very nice and tried to do her best ..but her best wasnt to my liking ...that doesnt mean I have to write a scathing review and have others think poorly of her ......The next person that sees her may think she is his ATF ....instead of a NO on her review I didnt post a review at all ...If she had been a no show.really rude ,or something extremely bad I would reviewed her and told the entire board ..but just because she was not my cup of tea she doesnt deserve a scathing review ......just my humble opinion .....gotta take the good with the bad...and I dont feel like I TOFTT...actually personality wise she was Very nice ..but performance wasnt what I expected ...But both of our lives will go forward I am sure ......Good luck to her in the future .......T

Very well put tsrv4me



I could have done my reviews and got my Premium Access back
But why....don't care for the drama


Could have renewed my Premium Access
But why....I just put it toward P4P

[Black Sedan]

This thread has become a pile-on itself. Each one of ya, start a thread about something. Most of you are great contributors too. Come on. Get creative.

Cheers to Mocha Kisses for her oral thread. Even to txcwby6 for his too skinny thread. Love it. The GPS thread... I see a lot of good stuff in just the first page of co-ed.

[txcwby6]

There's a growing loss of simple civility. I don't know if it's tied to people just being angrier with the world in which they exist or if it's a lack of good manners or patience with others. I was taught treat others like you want to be treated and don't criticize someone until you've walked in his/her shoes.

Is it simpler, perhaps more satisfying, to lash out than turn the other cheek?

[Black Sedan]

I just read the lame attack on FWOG accusing him of writing a fake review. I see that the mods put an end to it right away, and I hope it sends the right message.

It's too bad that happened, because I tend to prefer ladies in a certain age range, and would have like his estimate, but there's always PM.

Doesn't everyone ask the question of themselves, would anyone else give a shit about reading what I'm about to write?

[notdeadyet]

Originally Posted by DFK Hunter

But on a different level should we be surprised at all? I belong to several other forums both professional and other interests, and I have seen similar behavior there as well.

That's right -- we shouldn't be surprised. In any forum that allows anonymous communications and unlimited -- and generally uncensored -- comments and rebuttals, there will be some who write things that they'd never say face-to-face. It's not much different than a mob, whose participants will do things that they would never think of doing if acting alone.

The only way to manage the problem is to have moderators who have excellent judgement and a zero-BS tolerance, and who work from well-defined rules. Aside from clearly offensive items (racial bits, for example), there's a fine balancing act in judging what communication is acceptable and what is not, and when is enough enough. I wouldn't want the job.

So, maybe the best thing is to just ignore posters whom we don't like or don't respect, and maybe laugh at the stupider posts. And, if or when the board becomes an unpleasant place for too many members, someone will start another board and promise more civility, etc., and people will join that. And the cycle will repeat.

[fortwortholdguy]

I sure wish more ladies would add their comments. A lady started this thread and a few have posted, but now it's just us guys pontificating.

The ladies are the lifeblood of this board...without them there would be no members and no reason to even have a review board.

If the ladies complain about all the bullcrap (granted, a lot of it they're not allowed to see) then notdeadyet your call for tighter reins might be answered.

These Owners are not doing this because they're bored and have nothing else to do, believe me. It's a business and always needs and desires new members, which is fueled by having wonderful ladies to choose from. And we need to keep the ladies happy.

[5150]

Unfortunately we are seeing a common theme as a board grows. Initially the board has a “friend” or even family feel to it. We all know each other either through years of seeing each other post or even attending events together.

With the fall of ASPD thousand moved to this board which is a good and bad thing. With it revenues increase for the owners giving them the money to upgrade servers, add tools like showcase etc. On the flip side we gain individuals who have no common sense, are bullies or use the board as a way to humiliate others while attempting (feebly) to bolster their own narcissi self worth.

I proposed this once and will propose this again. IMO a code of conduct needs to be created and during sign up you acknowledge that code of conduct. In the early days that would have been easy to do tougher now. If you violate the code of conduct you have penalties for 1sr, 2nd and 3rd violation at which point you’re tossed from the board.

I know, people can easily sign up under new handle with different email address but point being is that everyone is aware of a base line code of conduct that is expected. Many of the code of conduct items are common sense; however there are a lot of people who have zero common sense.

Don’t leave the board or not engaged if you do you are letting the bullies win. Let the flaming begin

[Int3rested]

Not all...just weed thru it & u can find what works for you..

[vnurse]

Well you asked for it...for what it's worth, here's what I think...

As for myself, I haven't been on here to read and/or post much lately just because of travel and family stuff BUT when I HAVE gotten on here, I have only been skimming over topic titles and some areas I don't even look at at all.

The general "mood" here HAS been a bit testy and some things I have read are even downright hateful.

When I log onto this site, I do it for fun, relaxation, communication, and to establish friendships, relationships (well, you know...) and to learn things and laugh. That is more and more difficult to do but I will say this:

I WISH that folks weren't so serious and miserable and could just smile and have fun but if you can't, well, I am truly sorry but I am not going to let it get ME down.

I have read and read posts from different people stating 'I'm just going to get away from here and move on, etc, etc. Well, they are still here. Sure they may take little breaks but they are always here. No big deal.

I say that you can never please everyone so you might as well please yourself. Okay, no gutter minds here! LOL! If you write something and someone attacks you for it, so what? If you read something that you don't like or it pisses you off, so what?

I think people would just be SO much better off if they would lighten up and stop carrying their feelings around on their shoulders. I know I do. It's just WAY better that way.

Not too much exciting here but it's me and MY thoughts and they are worth what you pay for them. I think people (men AND women) should be getting massaged more. They would be MUCH calmer then.

Okay...carry on my loves!

[looiecypher]

I seldom post here other than my reviews anymore.
I am not worried about the flaming , its more that I really don't want my name associated with a lot of the behaviour that is creeping into this site.
Newbies don't bother me at all.That is what the site is for---information.More it's the veteran hobbyists who should know better ,that love to pile on anything negative and take it to the extreme.
Behaviour by others who are using the site for their own personal gains in the hobby.
Using threats of bad reviews and etc to bully the ladies.You know who you are.
We all have seen certain trends that are ...well disturbing and make some of us uncomfortable posting comments.This site has been great but it may be time for the mods,admins and owners to tighten the reigns a bit.The hands off approach can hurt this site just as much if not more than making a few rules and enforcing them would.
I am all for free speech but when it can be used to damage reputations and coerce,things need to change.

[Gonzo DFW]

This comments in this thread are the true answer to the original post.

[Sweet Heather]

Originally Posted by fortwortholdguy

Shit I spend 95% of my time lounging around in a t-shirt, flip flops, and gym shorts.

I want your life! Seriously!

[Captain Caveman]

I haven't been a member long and I don't post much. Mostly I lurk and post occasionally. I didn't know about this board until a provider asked me what my handle was (and I was never part of the ASPD old days). I've learned a lot from lurking on this board in the last few months.

This board behaves pretty much like any other message board. I have seen plenty of boards in my internet lifetime and no matter what the subject of the board is you are always going to have trolls. I don't understand the behavior. I think it is a self-esteem issue that enabled with anonymity. I think the trolls and their negative or bullying behavior somehow feel an empowerment that they lack in their lives elsewhere. Here they can be the "bad ass" while at work or at home they experience some sort on inadequacy.

I don't get emotionally invested in some negative attitude another member would have towards me. Really, for the most part everyone here is a stranger to me. Okay, call me a bad name or criticize something I wrote. I might chuckle for a few seconds and move on.

There is a particular aspect of trollish behavior I find a bit alarming. I was discussing this with a provider not too long ago. There are some hobbyists on this board who feel the need to intentionally bash providers in threads. Makes me wonder if that particular trollish behavior serves that person's needs to do belittle the provider.

Any, that's my opinion. Blast me if you want. I'll go back to lurkin'

[S-Man]

It's funny about the comparisons to ASPD. If the good & bad apples who were active on ASPD transitioned to this board, one would expect similar behavior.

There are many people who seem to live on these boards. With the anonymity of the Internet, people will say things to/about someone which would never have been said in person. I heard and used the description that ASPD was like high school.

If someone is flamed, it is taken personally and believe retaliation is in order. The person forgets that without a response, that thread would eventually get lost with the other old threads in the forum.

[Guest062124]

It kind of seems to me, that if you are a bully, mean person, or continually negative on a board that is supposed to be about good times...then you are more than likely that way in person. I appreciate when those bullies etc. come out of the woodwork. Makes my decisions on who I will see and not see, very easy.

On the other hand, it really sucks (not in a good way) that something that could be so great for all of us, gets turned into a gossip mill, pit of lies and place for bullies to hang and spew their venom. I am thankful that I have been around a few years, because I have to admit that if I was a newbie..I would probably be long gone by now. Thanks to all I know here that are great people.