It's All About the Provider ????

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by LynetteMarie

My personal example is living for my higher power first.

All of my decisions in life are based on the fact that this life is NOT all about me. It is about my higher power first, and my personal higher power is Christ Jesus.

I am sincerely curious how a person can live live for his or herself FIRST. I am attempting to keep this question as simple as possible for now...

There are people who don't believe in a higher power (whether it be Jesus, Mohamed, Buddah, etc) so that can easily fall out of the equation. Some people are just selfish thinking of nothing but themselves. It seems your question, poised in this form, has a fairly simple answer.

[terbul]

Originally Posted by LynetteMarie

My personal example is living for my higher power first.

All of my decisions in life are based on the fact that this life is NOT all about me. It is about my higher power first, and my personal higher power is Christ Jesus.

We don't need to get into the Bible here or the "you're a hypocrite, Lynette" discussion as it goes much too deep and theological for a simple thread to address here. I do welcome your private messages and insults, however!

I am sincerely curious how a person can live live for his or herself FIRST. I am attempting to keep this question as simple as possible for now...

I'm still not clear.

Is there then only two choices; Living for a higher power or living for oneself?

[Camille]

Deep breath...

I first entered into this business for ALL the wrong reasons.
I was hurt but also lonely. The actual hurt I felt at the time made me question the motives of everyone around me...including my own family...I really was in that much pain. From that comes a sense of isolation which is the WORST thing in the world for some hurting to experience. I'm not a loner by nature, though I am happy to spend time alone so it was a matter of time before that was going to become a big problem. Providing allowed me company without any emotional attachment. Men were in my life on my terms and as crap as that sounds that was how I wanted it. To be fair, everyone was in my life on my terms at that point but no-one really challenged me about it because family were too far way. I was detached beyond belief when I first started doing this...it really is cringeworthy thinking about it. What absolutely used to infuriate me though were the captain save a ho types. I didnt want rescuing, I wanted to understand me not be saved from me. I freely admit I was entirely selfish back then (5 years ago) and am surprised I had any repeat clients but I did. On the upside, providing put me through Grad school. That was the foundation surprisingly of my learning to trust others again..including myself. Whilst that was postive, relying on providing as my major source of income was not. It limits your choices and that limits your freedom to grow as a person.

I think I realized that a new foundation had been built for me to grow from when I had a date with a client and I REALLY enjoyed his company. There is no question that this occured from the interactions in my personal life. I just arrived at a point where I thought, "Screw it, I'm going to let myself enjoy him without being guarded and if he lets me down he lets me down..life WILL go on." That was probably about 4 years ago and I have zero regrets about making that leap into the unknown. It was exhilerating and scary and god knows what else but I just sensed I was ready to deal with the consequences even if it went wrong. It actually did go wrong lol....he wanted too much and he got angry when I calmly ans gently said no. I was disappointed but that's all. I didn't fall apart or shatter into a thousand pieces and that was real turning point in my life. I don't think I could have done that had I limited my "healing" to this world or the civvie world. Fo me, the two worked in tandem to get me to a better place. Providing was an instrumental part of getting me back on my feet again but on it's own it would not have worked. Around this time, I switched my name to Camille as a reflection of my own personal change and the rest as they say is history.


These days I'm much more aware of what I enjoy in a man and what I don't. I'm not afraid to say no to a a request even if the man is polite and ticks all the right boxes on paper. My approach is that if I wouldn't go on a civvie blind date with then I won't go on a paid blind date with you...and I am fully aware that this benefits us both. I don't bullshit anyone when we do go on a date but nor do I try to prove myself. I accept (fully) that we are not for everyone and the law of averages suggests that not everyone will enjoy my company. I don't take it personally because I've grown into a person I like. I can live with my choices because I'm prepared to own them. I've learned alot about myself being a provider but I couldn't have done that without the men obviously. Did I come here to learn? Nope, I think I came here to hide and lick my wounds. What I unexpectedly found was some sort of sanctuary where I was pretty much left alone to evolve on my own terms at my own speed. I didnt have to answer to anyone because the magic of this biz if someone rubs you the wrong way you don't have to see them again. Had you asked me why I started this when I first did I could not have given you an answer. It was an entirely instinctual move, not a logical one. Instincts are hard to explain but I trust mine alot, they tend to be more in tune with me at times than my brain

Rambling aside, I think our needs change. Why we started is not necessarily why we stay. It's all relative. I suppose I'm the sterotypical textbook tragedy of who enters this biz but I defy idiots like Diane Sawyer about why I stay here. I stay because I am still evolving...BUT at a much higher, healthier and happier level. I sense (there go those instincts again!) that my evolution in the demi world will fade in the next 12 months. Perhaps because I've done incall, outcall, high rates, lower rates, agency, indy, static and now travel. Regardless of what you do, if you're not evolving it's time to think about change. Hey...if this was TMI I apologize but I'm sort of over the past so it's no biggie to me these days

C xx

[Nicolette Morgandy]

Originally Posted by LynetteMarie

In reading a few of the websites by both male and female companions, a commonality stood out and struck me (in just a few, BUT.....)

I may make some enemies/cause ill feelings by mentioning this, but I am staying true to my heart and being real here. I don't "do" fake.

When someone says s/he lives a life based on pleasing him/herself, does that raise red flags for you or is that perfectly acceptable?

As a potential client, does a comment like this make you more or less likely to schedule an engagement with the companion?

As a fellow companion who may not share the "it's all about me" mentality, what emotions does this sort of comment trigger in you, if any?

Curiously,
Lynette

Very good topic, Lynette.

When I first started out with websites, I made several mistakes. Who knows, maybe I'm still making some as we speak!

But, I realized that in order to target a better demography of clientele, then I'd have to get inside the mind of a prospective client and cater to that client's need (benefits of my service!) aka *what I can do for him/her*, so I tailored my website to the needs of a potential suitor who'd like to grace me with his/her presence.

Yes, I agree that there are quite a few companions whose website content is strikingly "all-about-me", making themselves look/sound as if they're God's gift to mankind; oh well, if it works for them who am I to knock it? That's probably one of their best selling points.

Did you know that there are in fact a lot of men and women who have a masochistic streak, and that they gravitate toward someone who triggers that desire in them?

I guess to each his/her own.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

There are people who don't believe in a higher power (whether it be Jesus, Mohamed, Buddah, etc) so that can easily fall out of the equation. Some people are just selfish thinking of nothing but themselves. It seems your question, poised in this form, has a fairly simple answer.

''By preferring the support of domestic to that of foreign industry, he intends only his own security; and by directing that industry in such a manner as its produce may be of the greatest value, he intends only his own gain, and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention. Nor is it always the worse for the society that it was not part of it. By pursuing his own interest he frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good. It is an affectation, indeed, not very common among merchants, and very few words need be employed in dissuading them from it''

[discreetgent]

Invisible hand of the market as a higher power? Interesting question. I suppose it could be construed that the invisible hand of the market is just a collective judgment of all the participants in the market and thus not really a higher power.

[Nicolette Morgandy]

Originally Posted by LynetteMarie

Hmmmm, seems my point is being missed here.

I'm not referncing the pleasure behind closed doors.

I'm referencing WHY a companion chooses to do this...his/her TRUE intentions.

I, too, am pleased if I please my partner. That's not what I'm referring to.

I'm questioning what is one, as a provider, really all about? WHO is the provider living for? What is inspiring the provider to provide? Is it really ALL about him/herself as the "hedonistic values" portray in websites?

I love freedom in every sense of the word. Therefore, I'm here by choice; to add what I can to a special person's life for a moment, season, or maybe lifetime.


p.s. Admin, I'm enjoying these emoticons. Irie!

[Guest031710]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Well I can answer this only with my own reasons:

I'm a philander and I'm addicted to sensation. This is much less complicated then having 5 lovers who take up all my time, and then still have to go to work. I don't know when I'd find time to sleep or eat. And the men aren't jealous of each other, and don't' try to intentionally mess up an evening with someone else or become demanding in ways that are unfair and abusive.

I'm also a submissive - and this goes beyond enjoying pain and control. I have a driving need to do things for people. It somehow calms a deep inner part of my psyche. I like to serve a good master. People see me with my SO's and they always say "Lucky man, to have a woman that would go so far out of her way", but the truth is, I'm doing things for him because it pleases me. This intense submissive side is suffocating to someone who is a full time partner, and glorious for someone who is only spending a week with me. This dilutes my energy so no one feels overwhelmed.

I'm here because I like having multiple lovers, need to please others and adore casual sex. I'm living for me, and I'm providing for me.

I think providing for me, makes me a better provider because I absolutely ADORE being here. I can't see how anyone would be disappointed by a provider that's thrilled to be there.

I think I love you!

These smilies are FUN


I'm really not sure why I'm still around. Ive all but quit seeing new people.
Everyone starts for their own reasons, providers and clients alike.
Yes, sometimes someone's words can turn me off, websites or posting styles. I don't like things to be all about me, but I don't really enjoy men who want it to be all about them. Staying home and doing it yourself could be a much cheaper way of making yourself happy.

[Guest020510]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

There are people who don't believe in a higher power (whether it be Jesus, Mohamed, Buddah, etc) so that can easily fall out of the equation. Some people are just selfish thinking of nothing but themselves. It seems your question, poised in this form, has a fairly simple answer.

Then consider it akin to Einstein's "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile". One needn't be religious or even philo-sophist inclined to understand that phrase; my life is led by style, law, and manners, and that phrase is very true, to my experience.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by Nineveh

Then consider it akin to Einstein's "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile". One needn't be religious or even philo-sophist inclined to understand that phrase; my life is led by style, law, and manners, and that phrase is very true, to my experience.

Fair enough but there are going to be people out there who don't agree with that phrase either.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Invisible hand of the market as a higher power? Interesting question. I suppose it could be construed that the invisible hand of the market is just a collective judgment of all the participants in the market and thus not really a higher power.

or the "collective judgment" IS the higher power.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Fair enough but there are going to be people out there who don't agree with that phrase either.

Yup!

[WTF]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Fair enough but there are going to be people out there who don't agree with that phrase either.

What would seem fair is to accept that there are selfish and selfless people that are one and the same depending on what situtation they are in. These same people may or not believe in a higher power. The one's that do believe in God/Goddesses are no more selfish or selfless than the ones that don't.

I do feel it worthy to note that the damn sociopaths give both camps a bad name. Maybe that is what we are really talking about.

A further note and one that may apply to our lil forum is that I've found the narcissist while annoying will do good, not for the sake of doing good but for the praise. At the end of the day , nothing wrong with that for the person(s) they do good for. They are horrible at long term one on one relationships. Not enough glory in that!

That all folks, sorry for boring ya with WTF's philosophy/religion 101.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by pjorourke

or the "collective judgment" IS the higher power.

Don't be getting all deep on us

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by WTF

Don't be getting all deep on us

Sorry, it slips out every now and then.