I posted this on a few other boards. I got some great responses, just as I have on this board. There are 2 responses on one board that kinda "struck me". One was from a provider on TER who responded to my post.
QUOTE:
Pleasureforyou... I absolutely HATE to be fingered! Most ladies I know hate it too.
Posted by NotAWifeAnymore,
5/20/2010 8:14:40 AM
"Your post is nice. I can see you're trying to give some good (and MUCH NEEDED) advice. Unfortunately, the only thing you will succeed in doing is to get more and more gents fingering! PLEASE DON'T DO IT! Most guys do nothing but hurt women when they do it.
I hate to be fingered because it hurts like hell. It always leaves me sore too. I try my best to direct and offer more lube etc. But, it has never worked. When asking for a reference, if a lady tells me the guy fingers her too much, I will not see him." END OF QUOTE
I was amazed that she would even ask not to give out any information that could actually help someone, or be informative. Also struck by the fact that she would not set boundaries for herself with the men she sees.. so I did post a response back to her. But this other post was by this hobbyist who responded to her, and his post struck me as well. Out of all the posts I have to say I liked his the best.
QUOTE:
Advocacy of IGNORANCE?!!!
Posted by johngaltnh
,
5/20/2010 9:39:11 AM [johngaltnh has
4 reviews]
(slightly facetious but amused tone)
"Most women come equipped by nature with an amazingly versatile orifice just underneath their nose. It can be used for kissing, sucking, blowing, eating, breathing and even ... TALKING. (*grin*)
I know, with men often booking providers to *get away from* the endless yapping that shrewish women often erect as a barrier to sex; it is understood that providers are supposed to be agreeable.
And, of course, the male ego can indeed be a fragile thing. So I can sort of understand not speaking up in some respects.
(*Stern and admonishing tone*)
But ... pardon my French ... What the Fuck?!
Unless you are going out of your way to find nasty human beings as clients; the overwhelming preponderance of them have NO DESIRE TO HURT YOU.
In fact, if they KNEW they were hurting you, they would be horrified and change what they were doing instantly.
Moreover, romance novels notwithstanding, great male lovers are generally made rather than born; and even men with a very solid general knowledge of female sexuality can fall WAY short in applying that knowledge to a given woman.
So -- here you are, allowing men to cause you physical pain through IGNORANCE. Those men would be horrified to know they had done that, you know. Through your SILENCE and failure to admit PAIN you have essentially TRICKED MEN INTO HURTING YOU.
If I knew I was one of those men, I would be livid.
I agree, you should remove "touch pussy" from your profile and make sure guys know better than to touch you there.
You do NOT "try your best" to direct. Your *best* would be to say: "Stop, that hurts. Here! Let me masturbate for you and show you how I like to be touched." Then grab the lube and show him. Then, lube him up, hold his hand and direct until he has the hang of it. Then, sit back and enjoy something that actually feels decent and doesn't hurt. THAT would be your best.
(* lecturing tone *)
Finally, I am absolutely INCREDULOUS that you would be a proponent of enforcing IGNORANCE among hobbyists.
Safety through ignorance? I think not!
By keeping men ignorant, you only guarantee that MORE women have unpleasant experiences.
Fuck that noise.
Let knowledge flow!
In practice, BTW, I seldom finger providers; but that doesn't mean I never will.
Wouldn't it be better for that provider if I knew what the hell I was doing and DIDN"T hurt her?" END OF QUOTE
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I am enjoying reading all the post replies and am learning much from the people who are responding. Keep on with the discussion we have much to learn from each other.. and I also enjoy the amusing posts just as much!
Guilty Pleasures