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Originally Posted by Lucky40
This leads me to pose this question “what is the difference between provider/SO in terms of fulfilling your sexual needs? And for providers “what is the difference between client/SO?
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As far as the occasional visitor and the new gents or one time dates, it's not much different then a one night stand or the early phases of a dating relationship.
I find the differences between SO and patron are obvious in long term arrangements.
My gentlemen callers are more eager. They go to such great lengths, without my asking or expecting anything, to create these fun ad sometimes extravagant experiences. Everytime we get together it's a celebration of what we share.
They're more adventurous. There isn't the same investment or tie to the future or personal lives, there's less a fear of offending me. They're happy to try new things, invent new experiences. I've been seeing two gents for years and they still manage to think up new sexual experiences while with SO's that stops after the Honeymoon phase and may occur once every few years.
Sad to say - the way they look at me. In their eyes of my Donna I always feel beautiful, there's a glitter, a sparkle, that isn't always there with an SO. Mostly because I don't see him every day. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My Donna might be distracted by work and personal life problems while we're together but they don't overshadow me. I'm there because he wants a distraction from those things. It doesn't usually work that way in an SO relationship. His troubles will overshadow me, and I can't blame him for that. Often when he's going through a hard time, the best thing I can do is leave him alone, give him sapce, talk when I'm spoken to (I mean that in a nice way not a mean controlling fashion).
The things I can share with them - I've been in a long term relationship where he knows that there's no chance of me retiring. I am very private and guarded about my experiences as a companion, especially the good moments. He doesn't request this, but he himself is monogamous, and it can't be easy on him. So I do my best to be considerate of his emotions. However, this is a really big part of my life. It's created a little isolation chamber around me, of things I can't talk about, experiences I can't share, emotions I have to figure out alone, thoughts I need to put a muzzle on. However, with my Donna I can talk about my life, without any consern (obviously not details that should be kept private, but general stories and experiences). Its so nice not to have to shove this huge part of my life into a closet.
When I've spend as long as a week or two with a Donna, there is also an awareness there that doesn't exist in day to day life with a live-in SO. A constant concern for my comfort, doting but not to the point of suffocation, just a sweet desire for me to be happy in little ways. With an SO we're not going to do that - not a bad thing, but you grow into daily life and don't notice every detail. I don't notice that he's missed lunch and might be hugry, he doesn't notice that I'm fidgety and might need a plesant distraction for a bit. Everyday demands take over your line of sight.
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Originally Posted by Ansley
What a great post. I agreed with all of what you shared except for the line above. Please know that I am not trying to speak for other women, just myself. I feel like my dates are very GFE. I feel lucky that I have clicked with about 85% of the men that I have seen. I will admit though, Ansley can't give the same experience that I would give a SO. With a SO there is love, trust and not to many boundaries. When I have those three things it really does take sex to a whole different level.  |
Agreed and that's why I like to use the word "Donna". There's a huge difference between a client and a Donna. Donna = Patron of a Geisha. Geisha have only one Donna at a time, and they play a major role in her life. I usually have 1 or two at a time that see me frequently over years. Once I was balancing three which made meeting new people almost too exhausting a proposition lol
Donna are regular part of my life, even when we aren't in the same room or country. After sharing years together, good times and bad, we do achieve heights that are generally left for personal life, including trust. Admittedly, it's not terribly common, but it does happen.
Awesome post:
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Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
Then you have to think about the provider, who should be versatile enough to sense your needs from communications. But let's talk about mismatches in personalities. Let's take our guy who may be a bit shy and forming a connection is key to enjoying his time with a provider. If he books "Miss SuperPSE" it's possible he may not take from the encounter what he expects. Or if "Mr. Jaded-about-women" meets "Miss Sensitive GFE", who wants to get to know each other when all he wants to know is how far can she get his thing down her throat, he may think she's a little slow to the punch about his needs.
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I think often in long term live in relationships (7+ years), as you hurt each other over the years (accidentally and intentionally), as family, friends, careers complicate things, as you both change internally over the decades you've shared together, both parties put up walls in the name of self preservation. Incompatibilities that didn't bother you before drive you crazy 10 years later. New incompatibilities rise as you both grow and evolve. Somehow you become best friends and parents more then lovers.
For some people, lack of commitment and expectation provides a soaring freedom that's impossible in the civ world. Even the fact that we don't share the same core friends, don't spend time with each other's families makes a huge difference.
