Guilt

[watchoutthegameisrigged]

Hun, if you decide to refuse to see married guys in the hobby, I hope you have a second job. You will need it.

[Solitaire]

The guilt should rest on those who perpetuate the lie of human monogamy.

Until society sheds this illusion, natural human behaviors will have to commence in secret. No need for guilt.

[sketchball82]

Meh. There is no good answer to this question. It's insanely complicated and completely a matter of your personal philosophy.

You're enabling someone to possibly hurt someone else. So despite the hippy-esque peanut gallery, you do have some shared responsibility toward risking extreme pain in someone else to make a few bucks.

But on the other hand, if not you, then your client would likely have just found someone else. He's the cheater, not you.

Should you feel guilty? Guilt is the wrong word. Perhaps sympathy for the wife that may get blindsided over her cheating husband one day?

On a more personal note, I used to be uber faithful. Then my first wife cheated on me with the UPS guy and ultimately left me for him.

I've been broken every since. I have sex at the strip club on a biweekly basis, have a sugar baby I fuck bareback at least twice a week, and still manage to see hookers (normally I bring my sugar baby!) a couple times a month. I don't feel guilty, even though it would crush my current SO if she found out. It's what I need to get into another relationship after my fucked up trust issues since my first marriage fell apart.

So on that level, you're helping me keep my relationship together, thereby indirectly making my fiancee happy because (as she'll tell you) she's the happiest she's ever been. So you should feel proud too! xD

Like I said in the first paragraph, it's complicated.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by sketchball82

Meh. There is no good answer to this question. It's insanely complicated and completely a matter of your personal philosophy.

You're enabling someone to possibly hurt someone else. So despite the hippy-esque peanut gallery, you do have some shared responsibility toward risking extreme pain in someone else to make a few bucks.

But on the other hand, if not you, then your client would likely have just found someone else. He's the cheater, not you.

Should you feel guilty? Guilt is the wrong word. Perhaps sympathy for the wife that may get blindsided over her cheating husband one day?

On a more personal note, I used to be uber faithful. Then my first wife cheated on me with the UPS guy and ultimately left me for him.

I've been broken every since. I have sex at the strip club on a biweekly basis, have a sugar baby I fuck bareback at least twice a week, and still manage to see hookers (normally I bring my sugar baby!) a couple times a month. I don't feel guilty, even though it would crush my current SO if she found out. It's what I need to get into another relationship after my fucked up trust issues since my first marriage fell apart.

So on that level, you're helping me keep my relationship together, thereby indirectly making my fiancee happy because (as she'll tell you) she's the happiest she's ever been. So you should feel proud too! xD

Like I said in the first paragraph, it's complicated.

Its not complicated at all. The fucktards are adults and made an adult decision to cheat on the SO.

[sketchball82]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Its not complicated at all. The fucktards are adults and made an adult decision to cheat on the SO.

The crass response your your all-so-elegant comment is: and so are the providers. They're adults that made the decision to spread their legs for someone who was highly likely married, enabling them to cheat on the SO.

The more eloquent and thought out response is that your comment sounds like someone that doesn't care if people take responsibility for their actions or not (i.e., what I called "hippy-esque" above).

It takes at least two to have sex, and I'm quite sure providers know that the occasional (or not so occasional) married man joins them in their room. There is a certain amount of responsibility in that. While they're not the one actually cheating, you don't think there is anything inherently wrong with enabling someone else to cheat?

This is like saying its not wrong to sell roofie's to sketchy people because you're not the one that actually put them in someone's drink and raped them: as far as you knew, the buyer liked to snort them to forget about a bad breakup.

As I said above, its not necessarily wrong: but it's not exactly "right" either. It's complicated.

[Charlotte Breeze]

Originally Posted by sketchball82

The crass response your your all-so-elegant comment is: and so are the providers. They're adults that made the decision to spread their legs for someone who was highly likely married, enabling them to cheat on the SO.

The more eloquent and thought out response is that your comment sounds like someone that doesn't care if people take responsibility for their actions or not (i.e., what I called "hippy-esque" above).

It takes at least two to have sex, and I'm quite sure providers know that the occasional (or not so occasional) married man joins them in their room. There is a certain amount of responsibility in that. While they're not the one actually cheating, you don't think there is anything inherently wrong with enabling someone else to cheat?

This is like saying its not wrong to sell roofie's to sketchy people because you're not the one that actually put them in someone's drink and raped them: as far as you knew, the buyer liked to snort them to forget about a bad breakup.

As I said above, its not necessarily wrong: but it's not exactly "right" either. It's complicated.

Is it the casinos fault that you gambled the house away?

"Hippyesque", "taking responsibility for yourself", tomato tomatoe....

[username462]

I agree. I've stepped out on my future x wife due to finding out she had an ongoing affair 7 years ago and kept the communication open up until I found out about it 6 months ago. I need the occasional closeness that only a woman can provide since I don't touch the future x wife anymore. Complicated is the best way to put it. All parties have SOME responsibility.

[MOCHAakaMOCHA]

Could not have been said better...awesome.

Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

I think of myself as a marital supplement. I take a variety of dietary supplements every day. These supplements aren't meant to sustain me, but they do act to fill in the nutritional gaps in my daily diet. Between the foods that I eat, and the supplements I take, I stay healthy. Similarly, a provider isn't intended to replace the marital relationship, but seeing a provider can help to fill in the gaps of what is missing - intimacy, sexual fulfillment, emotional needs etc, which can help to keep the overall relationship healthy. This is why I firmly believe that providers have saved far more marriages than have been destroyed.

[shortstroke35]

Looks to me like Brokenwings is the "wife" and is stirring up s**t just to get you guys to raving!! LOL!!! (of course there is the distinct probability that I am wrong!)

[sketchball82]

Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

Is it the casinos fault that you gambled the house away?

I never said it was the casino's fault. In the case of married men providing, the act of "cheating" lies solely with the cheater.

But that does not mean that the casino is a pure, fair, and just establishment either. You know, a casino could easily refuse to deal in house deeds, and when average joe that has been losing all day whips out the deed, they know what just happened. Yet they still do it because that's when they make the most. Ultimately, maximizing your own bottom line at the expense of extreme distress (or potential distress) to others is not wrong? It may not be cheating, but again, there is clearly a wrong here.

Again, it's complicated.

Also, for the record, I'm not arguing this position. I personally kind of think it's the john's fault and john's alone. I'm just saying there are two sides to this coin and everyone here on these forums is EXCEEDINGLY biased, including myself.

[DSK]

Doesn't really matter. I could be married to the most perfect and beautiful girl in the world, and love her completely. Then, I see another beautiful girl, and I want to fuck her, too. My bad.

[awl4knot]

Originally Posted by BrokenWings73

Does anyone else feel guilty when screwing a married man? A wife found out about what had happened, and she was torn up. I know we provide a service, but my conscience bothers me, especially when kids are involved.

Does anyone else get the sense that Brokenwings73 is not a provider but rather a civilian on some sort of recon mission? She registered as a member and not as a provider and started an odd thread about getting arrested because a john's wife was emailing cities where she was touring. She got some responses and now wants to close her account. Maybe what she really wanted to know was how to screw the provider who stepped out with her husband?

I've been doing this for quite some time and I never heard a single provider express any regret for seeing married men. It's part of the job description.

There have been other "betrayed" who have tried to chastise the board for their husbands' infidelities, so poor BrokenWings73 may be just the latest edition.

She is free to prove me wrong.

[BrokenWings73]

Originally Posted by shortstroke35

Looks to me like Brokenwings is the "wife" and is stirring up s**t just to get you guys to raving!! LOL!!! (of course there is the distinct probability that I am wrong!)

Oh, yeah, that is hilarious. Then I am just batshit crazy if you are right, huh? Lame... Just sayin'...

[BrokenWings73]

Originally Posted by awl4knot

Does anyone else get the sense that Brokenwings73 is not a provider but rather a civilian on some sort of recon mission? She registered as a member and not as a provider and started an odd thread about getting arrested because a john's wife was emailing cities where she was touring. She got some responses and now wants to close her account. Maybe what she really wanted to know was how to screw the provider who stepped out with her husband?

I've been doing this for quite some time and I never heard a single provider express any regret for seeing married men. It's part of the job description.

There have been other "betrayed" who have tried to chastise the board for their husbands' infidelities, so poor BrokenWings73 may be just the latest edition.

She is free to prove me wrong.

Don't need to. You are free to believe what you choose. But if that were the case, that would be a sad and pathetic waste of time. I happen to have a conscience. Maybe you don't, and that is not my business. If you don't want to give advice that is helpful, I wish you would choose to ignore me. Lord. I'm new and don't know all these rules yet. Give a girl a break, will ya?

[FBSMLUVR]

I've got some helpful advice for you sweetie. If you have a conscience...and seems to me a conscience that is really bothering you being a provider, then you need to get out of the business. Being new, if you think that this is the first and only time a client is going to get his ass busted for playing with providers, you're wrong, because it will happen again if you stick around long enough. J/S