Part of the problem is the ladies that "upsell" fetishes. I can see a review with the usual and know what to take, but if I want something extra then I have to ask so I know how much extra to take so I don't look like a cheapo who tried to get greek for only an extra 2 Jacksons.
Of course I also don't message women saying "hay bbu u wnt sum fck 160 4 our???" I try to keep it "discreet" and ambiguous enough, of course you can only be so surreptitious on a site like this where it's pretty much known what you want and are talking about.
I haven't had anyone tell me anything bad about the way I inquire about rates and services, must be doing something right.