I have had this in the past... when I first started having sex actually. I was a late bloomer, started in college. All those years of masturbation had trained myself to a certain pattern, feeling and tempo etc that was nowhere close to a pussy and fucking. I had to be extremely excited to nut for a few years. I resolved it by stopping masturbating for a year, also by using a moisturizer on my dick to get it more sensitive again and then going through a re-training on my triggers while fucking. It took even longer to get myself to be able to cum via blowjob.
I still occasionally get it when I get overly stimulated. In particular in a hot tub or shower or after prolonged fucking or blowjob, the tip and end of my dick just don't respond. At that point the gal needs to focus on the lower end of the shaft and underside to get me to cum. I know this, so can steer her in that direction...
I also will get like that when I am stressed or just tired.
My advice is not to freak out about it, but to settle down, focus on the sensations and learn what brings you to the orgasm, then steer them towards that. Clear your head and focus on your dick and what is being done to it and learn to let yourself go mentally. I can't describe it better than that, but its like a sexual trance... when I am in that, I don't hear, see or think about anything other than my dick and where it is at that point.
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