Impregnated

[Love Your Zoo]

Well said Nikki.

[lasvegas]

i am confused about all this "get a good lawyer" talk? lol its pretty cut and dry... if it is yours... plan on 23-28% of your income leaving you. as it should!!! but from the hints you dropped, sounds like you can afford it.

[Ms. Milani]

I'm sorry perhaps this is pregnancy hormones but I'm still stuck on the part where she doesn't mind giving up her child to a man she's only known 2 months and a client at that. Way to pick a winner. I'm not big on abortion so I'm going to suggest adoption. She obviously doesn't care about what will happen to her child.

[Likinikki]

LV, with all due respect to you, he mentioned lots of other concerns he has...in connection with the *IF* he is the father. All I'm saying is...most of us aren't really qualified to give him legal advice. You forget...he's a married man...at least for now. Nothing wrong with protecting your interest...while doing the right thing.

[Texas Playboy]

Wow, a sobering thread which illustrates the dangers of taking this hobby beyond safe limits. Especially with immature providers.

Character is revealed by your behavior when no one is watching. If you really think you can skip out on her and not get caught, then I can assure you that you'll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder for a) private investigators, b) process servers, c) small children shrieking "Daddy!", or d) a guy named Guido with a Glock 9. (You won't see Guido coming ...)

Sorry pal, but if you are a man, you will do the right thing. Take her to the Doc and get the DNA test done pre-natal (it only requires her to give some blood and you to submit to a cheek swab). If you are the father, then you must have the abortion / adoption / 18 years of child support conversation with the mother. If she is a soul-less HO who merely wants the child support check (so she can buy drugs or whatever), then you are shit-out-of-luck and you deserve the financial and marital hosing that is coming your way.

If you are a decent man, you should frankly care about the woman even if you aren't the father. Pray that your test reveals that you aren't the father, and then BE HER FRIEND and help her even when you are not legally required to do so. Consider it just paying forward to the lady the gift that you just received from God.

I don't mean to sound sanctimonious about it (I probably do). But geez, no wonder our society is in such a shitty situation.

[Marcus78]

The lesson here is that $1 for a condom, and some reduced satisfaction, will save you tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of $$$, and possibly a relationship with your SO. It is so easy to say ex post, and will hopefully help those thinking of BB ex ante in the future!

With the obvious out of the way, you owe everything to that kid. If it is your child, he/she is an innocent victim in this whole mess who never asked for her father and mother to make a stupid decision which could seriously destroy the rest of his/her life. I couldn't walk away 1. Because of moral/societal obligations and 2. She could still possibly find you. You would be amazed at how much you can learn about someone from a very limited set of information. It will only get worse if you run, that much I guarantee you! Besides, would you really want to go through life not knowing your own child?

As for caring about the mother if you're not the father, I wouldn't feel any obligation to support her, but I can understand those that would. Lastly, the most final option (abortion) would not be on the table for me. Regardless of how much of an inconvenience and a life-changing event this would be for me, I could never bring myself to agree to the death of any unborn child, especially not my own! However, the laws of this nation afford the two of you that right, so it's something you will both have to discuss.

I hope you're not the father, and everything works out/goes away as a result, but it sounds like there's a strong chance you are the dad, so start planning now. Eight months will come around much quicker than you think, I guarantee it, and you better have some plan of action in mind when it does.

[Mature Companion]

You took the words right out of my mouth. I held back in my previous post. As I waned to be a bit more direct than I was.

But you were spot on!

Originally Posted by atxdream

My honest unsolicited opinion... You obviously don't care about anyone but yourself.
1) you put your wife at risk by having unprotected sex with someone else
2) you are willing to let her take the fall when you are half responsible for the situation. But ONLY If you think she doesn't have enough info to pin it on u
3) you are willing to leave child to grow up with only half the financial support he or she deserves.
4) the fact that this is not the 1st time you've been in a position where someone can accuse you of getting them pregnant speaks volumes about the risk you are desperate enough to take.

I dont care if I get pointed for this post. Your post lays out point by point why you aren't even close to a decent human being. Only for the child's sake, my advice is to get the DNA test and write her a monthly check but have NO part of raising that child. One of u is enough in this world.

[Mature Companion]

With all due respect.
He was a married man when he dropped his drawers and chose to have unprotected sex. Seemed he didn't give a fuck about his interests then. Only about fucking.
And he's not so keen on doing the right thing now, as he indicated about turning and running AWAY from the issue(IF it is his) ALL because he *thinks* she doesn't know who he is, therefore she won't be able to find him.

That's not a man in my eyes. But a coward!

He played the game raw and now he has to pay the price for it. (for a good long 18 years if it's his).

And FYI, if he didn't want any type of advice/legal advice. Then he shouldn't of brought to the hobby communities attention.

Originally Posted by Likinikki

LV, with all due respect to you, he mentioned lots of other concerns he has...in connection with the *IF* he is the father. All I'm saying is...most of us aren't really qualified to give him legal advice. You forget...he's a married man...at least for now. Nothing wrong with protecting your interest...while doing the right thing.

[sanantonioman37]

I won't give you a lecture because its past that point.
I agree, if its yours man up.
Adoption is a possibility.

[Likinikki]

I don't think I ever said...I agree with what he may/may not do. What I SAID was...WM...that he has a responsibility to protect HIS INTEREST...meaning HIS FAMILY. I will say this...this is a very screwed up situation...it doesn't take a rocket scientist to discern that!

And, before all of us go running to JUDGE what's going on...re-read what he said...and, don't be like the bible thumpers who only read parts of the bible that fit their agenda and try to convict you...WITHOUT READING THE ENTIRE CONTEXT!

She hasn't asked for money and I haven't promised to give her anything. In Texas, for a child support claim a DNA test is necessary, so I have about 8 more months to figure out what to do. I am very tempted to just walk away from the whole thing, I don't think she could find me if I never saw her again. The only other thing she might know is my car's license plate. BUT....

As I said, I am about 90% sure it is mine. I hate to walk away from the possibility that it is my child. A DNA test is the only way to know 100%, but then she can sue for child support once we knew for sure. Is there an anonymous way to conduct a DNA test? I am also concerned about child support and birth certificate data. I would adopt the child in a second if it was mine, but SO may not like that idea. SO would definitely find out about child support, but would she know if my name appeared on a birth certificate?...

The way I look at it...this is a man *thinking out loud,* and is being HONEST about ALL of HIS FEELINGS. Do I think he deserves what he gets...maybe. Do I think he made some serious WRONG CHOICES..hell ya!

How many of us make bad choices...everyday? And, it takes two to play...I don't understand the concept of it's always the man's fault. Yes, he screwed up...MAJORLY...on his responsiblity to his family...but, she's a woman and a provider to boot...pretty sure she knows how babies are made...how is she the victim? The only true victims *IF* he is the father...are his family and the baby.

And FYI, if he didn't want any type of advice/legal advice. Then he shouldn't of brought to the hobby communities attention.

He did want advice...but, when did you go to Law School?

[lasvegas]

hey nikki... i hear what your saying... the unfortunate truth is... his interest (if the baby is his) is now the new borns interest... as well as his existing family it will become their interest as well...which is sad situation...as wm concurred , he didnt take that into consideration ? if it turns out to be his child... feel really bad for a kid to be brought into a situation where someone is going to look out for his own interest rather then a good family situation. sucks.

[Likinikki]

LV...no babe, you didn't get it either...AND, NO...he didn't take any of that into consideration...OBVIOUSLY! I mean...how is beating a dead horse going to change anything? Malaya...you got that right!! Any woman who is willing to give up her child to someone she's only known...for only two months...deserves exactly what she gets too! Both parties are dumber than a box of rocks...but, it is what it is!

LV, He never said...that's what he was GOING TO DO...he stated he was TEMPTED. Listen, how many of you men...if you were in his shoes...would be HONEST enough to say you wouldn't be(at least) tempted to do exactly what he THOUGHT? I know many men that wouldn't even consider running out...but, I'd bet at least 49.333% would have had the thought. Now, that would be an interesting poll. (lol) And, that's all he said. Go back and READ what I highlighted.

Human nature leads us to only SEE what we want to SEE and READ what we want to READ into most situations...because most people are reactionary. I appreciate that you understood that I wasn't being argumentative to what you posted...but, rather taking the *devil's advocate* position.

I also want to point out...as most of you here realize...that I'm all for supporting women. Sometimes, we (women) have to stop and take a long hard look at how far we've come. We can't have our cake and eat it too...in these types of situations. Either we're strong, independent women...or, need to depend on every situation we can take ADVANTAGE of, and kick our fore-sisters to the curb! You can't have it both ways.

Since when is a woman (in this scenario) the lost cause? If she's a provider...pretty sure she COULD MAKE more money than he does...if she worked full-time as a provider. I was a single parent to three kids...worked my ass off to a civillan job, making between 45-54K a year...had one ex-husband who skipped out on child support, and the other I got exactly 400/mth. So, please don't tell me that as a provider...that she's going to hurt for support for her child. Besides, he has already said *HE WOULD SUPPORT HIS CHILD...IF HE IS THE FATHER.* So, don't you think...we've missed a point or two here?

One more point...for those who OOOH and AHHHH...about having indiscriminate sex without *protection,* how many times have you met someone at a bar or somewhere, took them home and had unprotected sex...or, how many have SOs (providers too) and have had unprotected sex...or how many have had *exclusive* types of situations...or, just plain hypocritical? Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Jed Clampett]

I am curious to hear the ladies opinions on what they would do if they were the OP's wife or SO. Would you divorce him right away, or try to work things out until the DNA test is performed? Would you raise the child if the mother does not want him? What should the SO do? I am just curious as to what the ladies of eccie think his SO should do, if anything.

[Harro69]

Well.... he can call Jerry Springer to get them to pay for the tests...

This sucks if she is gonna have the kid I hope she is ready to take care of it. I am pro life
guy but also support choice.

The OP thinking about maybe trying to hide from her, I don't think that's the right move.

Dude got into a mess. I am new here but not new to the hobby and still have never gone
without a condom. It took me a while to find the right brand & model but I found one
that works for me. Also guys don't realize getting cum around the bush, legs, butt or stomach
can still allow sperma to travel. They can live a few days if they don't dry up.

[BoomShakaLaka]

Originally Posted by atxdream

My honest unsolicited opinion... You obviously don't care about anyone but yourself.
1) you put your wife at risk by having unprotected sex with someone else
2) you are willing to let her take the fall when you are half responsible for the situation. But ONLY If you think she doesn't have enough info to pin it on u
3) you are willing to leave child to grow up with only half the financial support he or she deserves.
4) the fact that this is not the 1st time you've been in a position where someone can accuse you of getting them pregnant speaks volumes about the risk you are desperate enough to take.

I dont care if I get pointed for this post. Your post lays out point by point why you aren't even close to a decent human being. Only for the child's sake, my advice is to get the DNA test and write her a monthly check but have NO part of raising that child. One of u is enough in this world.