Struggling to get started

[KCQuestor]

Originally Posted by I_AM _______

If you are paying them and they are servicing your johnson, YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS , its a business arrangement... BUT I guess if you are foolish enough to believe that, and they get your money and let you believe it.. Yay for you and them!

Can you be friends with your hairdresser? With your bartender? With your lawyer or your accountant? I can. And I am friends with quite a few escorts.

I admit that it can get complicated being friends with a provider. I've had a friend-with-benefits once ask me "When I came by your house at 11:00 last night, why didn't you make a move on me? It was clearly a booty call." I had to explain to her that as long as we have a professional relationship, I'm never going to initiate a sexual encounter unless I am prepared to pay. She accepted that, and from then on whenever she wanted to have sex she made it very clear.

Also, whenever I go out as friends with my escort or dancer friends, it is assumed that I will pay for almost everything. That's not the case when I go out with my other friends.

I've taken escorts on trips many times as friends. Since I'm not paying her daily rate, I'm not expecting any sex. However it often ends up that we fall into bed together -- whether it's as a mutual enjoyment thing or her "thank you" for the trip, I can't say.

[I_AM _______]

all well and good KC but if I DONT want to be friends and make a relationship with every piece of poon I see im a nutcase? Thats what i commented on, and i stand by my statements.

[KCQuestor]

Well, I agree with your sentiment, but I think the poster before you (Fsn57) made the point better. A lot of guys don't want or need a personal relationship with a provider just to have a sexual encounter.

You said "anyone seeking a personal relationship with a provider is very dangerous at best" and I disagree with that.

[growler]

Gentlemen let's not judge someone until we walk a mile in their shoes....Jr, I understand what you 're trying to say perfectly. Yes while it can be quite complicated you can indeed have a rich & rewarding friendship with someone you also have an financial arrangement with. I_AM if you choose to never see the same lady twice that"s cool as well.

[Omahan]

Originally Posted by I_AM _______

If you are paying them and they are servicing your johnson, YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS , its a business arrangement... BUT I guess if you are foolish enough to believe that, and they get your money and let you believe it.. Yay for you and them!

Over the years I have been very good friends with a number of my customers. I don't know why you think a provider can't have friends among hers.

[Sens55]

I obviously agree with Q and O. I am friends with my attorney, I golf with my bartender. My barber and I are friends through various agencies. I'm in sales and many of my customers are also friends. I know their wives, their kids, been to their home, etc.

I never said we seek a relationship with every "piece of poon" and I don't believe they're there to "service my johnson". They're there to service ME. And that comes in many different ways and formats. I don't think every girl is going to be a friend. But you said "anyone seeking a relationship with a provider is very dangerous at best" and that we're psychos and stalkers. I pointed out that simply isn't true. But you also made a reference to getting a burger at McD's and marrying the grill person. If your choice in ladies matches your choice in dining cuisine, then I would agree with you.

But finding a quality lady whose company you enjoy, and enjoys yours is nothing extraordinary. And certainly not something that makes anyone a psycho. And your opinion of the ladies seems quite low. As Q pointed out, there can sometimes be difficulties in blurred lines. But I know many of these ladies have given me plenty of extra "things" in return. And not really in a sexual manner. Most of the time it comes in the form of extra time. I've had ladies spend a few hours with me for a one hour rate and if we're both having fun it's all good. I've had many go to dinner with me. I recall one extremely fun lingerie shopping adventure (and no, I wasn't suckered into buying anything), although I did get to help her put her make up on later...and that was quite fun

My point is, you are free to just pop and go and treat the ladies like a gas station attendant or the "grill person" at McD's. No one is saying you are wrong to do so (although I'd say you're missing out by doing it that way). But for you to say those that prefer to find providers they actually LIKE makes us "dangerous", or "stalkers" or "psychos" is completely out of line. It truly shows your ignorance of how these things CAN work. And since I see you don't have Premium Access, you can't see ROS on reviews, you obviously don't REALLY know what's going on in a lot of these other dates. Maybe you should do a few reviews, get the access and see the fullness of others experiences before you make such damning judgments on people that have been playing this game a LONG time.

[TiffanyKC]

As far as verification, there are other ways to do it without references. I have seen a few that I verify through their employer and I am sure there are plenty of providers out there that would be more than accommodating for you.

[beentheir]

i think the answer is to have a "bring a provider to work day" this way they can see you at work and realize what your life is about. They may also pick up new clientelle and we can all can connect on a deeper level.

[jan-w]

Originally Posted by TiffanyKC

As far as verification, there are other ways to do it without references. I have seen a few that I verify through their employer and I am sure there are plenty of providers out there that would be more than accommodating for you.

Thanks Tiffany for a sensible answer to a sometimes thorny problem.

Everybody has to start somewhere and most fall into the classic Catch 22 regarding references. I wish there was an easy standard way. Usually, it's just trial and error and perseverance.

[guest010313]

I always offer employment verification and also recommend P411 because they do the same thing but without the provider having the information.

[JRLawrence]

Originally Posted by Sens55

Completely unfounded and untrue. Depends on how you define a "relationship". But many of the girls on here are people I consider friends. People who's company I genuinely enjoy. I prefer to find people that I "click" with. Doesn't make me dangerous or a stalker.

Well everyone,

I got some of you thinking about this. Look at it from the girls point of view: she doesn't know you. Even if meeting her is a sure thing, unless the guy is a total insult. I have been married three times. The first two wives died, and the present one is sick and I will stay with her until she dies too. I have needs, but shouldn't everyone be nice to each other during our visits. I just don't understand guys who want to stalk a woman, or beat up a woman. Likewise, I don't understand a guy who wants to be punished by a woman. It is just doesn't make any sense.

I do see the girls view: any guy who hurts a girl just because she is in the hobby and he thinks he can get away with it should be _____. (Whatever, I won't go there; but you know what I mean.) I know that being hurt by a guy is a real concern for some of these girls, just like being robbed or beat up by a pimp should be a concern for all of these guys. Listen up, just talking together for a few minutes first will give one an inner feeling about what type of person you are meeting. Look beyond the beauty (or not beauty) to get some indication of who this person is. Taking a little time to know the person is not a marriage proposal. All of us should attempt to make our visits a pleasant encounter. If not, what is the point. Anything else is beyond normal. It is the strange encounters, not the sex, that makes the hobby illegal (that's a sick bird - so we should say unlawful).

Maybe I am just lucky, I really like women. But, my commitments have been to my three wives, and I still love them all, or the memory of them, and the children and grandchildren they have brought me.

It has been nice that some of the ladies like to talk to me during or after a visit. Many of these women are very smart; it is a shame that some guys are so shallow that they don't ever give a woman the chance to show how smart they really are. It is a concept that I have taught my daughters. They are smart and they don't have to hide it. I do hide the hobby from my daughters and granddaughters, I don't think is any of their business how I handle difficult items. A good woman is always a joy to be with.

Enough for now.

JR

[ScubaBad]

JR, I couldn't agree more with you. I have also become friends with a few of the providers I have known and I am appalled at some of the things that men have done to them during sessions. It really makes me sick and put a whole new light on how terrifying (physically and mentally) a first time can be for them.

[JRLawrence]

Originally Posted by ScubaBad

JR, I couldn't agree more with you. I have also become friends with a few of the providers I have known and I am appalled at some of the things that men have done to them during sessions. It really makes me sick and put a whole new light on how terrifying (physically and mentally) a first time can be for them.

Yes,
It absolutely terrifying. I always take a few minutes to talk with a girl the first time I meet someone new. I like to make the experience pleasant for the woman. I still consider some of the providers to be friends after many years; one woman who used to work for Plaza before Master Dennis told me some real horror stories that made me sick. She was really scared, but she needed the money. After my first wife died of breast cancer, I saw this lady every week for about 10 months before she got completely out of the business. Some of these guys who visit ladies could not get a date with a regular woman on a bet; they are so strange that it is totally and completely unacceptable.

Great external physical beauty is not a requirement - but it is nice - for a great encounter: but we all know that. We also know that it it a nice experience when we are made to feel special, if only for the moment. Wouldn't you guys think that the girls would also like to feel that they are special, if only for the moment. One of the girls I visit has told me that she likes to see me because I make her feel special, the experience is nice and something she needs too, and the money is nice because it helps with expenses. She is smart and well educated, but doesn't make much money. Now get this: she doesn't make much money because women don't make as much money as men.

Women take time out to be mothers, and because they haven't built up their job skills will never be paid the same as the men who have continually built their job skills. This is a lesson I taught my daughters from the time they started walking; they can compete with men, but they have to prepare themselves. I insisted that they take all of the science and math courses, before the fun courses that tend to be feminine. Without the science and math they would have eliminated themselves from most of the well paying jobs. They would have also limited their choice of men by not being well educated.

It is a worthy goal when a woman becomes a wife and mother because that is what she wants. Without that female attitude, mankind would perish. But society punishes many women because they are not men. (Is this an oxymoron?) They will never be equal because equal is a mathematical term that means exactly the same. A better term to use would be that women and men are equivalent. They are not exactly the same (I appreciate the difference), but they are valued in the same way. It takes 1 weight of hydrogen, combined with 8 weights of oxygen to produce 1 molecule of water (equivalent weights). This does not make the hydrogen less important than the oxygen, both are just as important to producing the necessary molecule of water 2H+O, with the weights of 1+1+16 = 18. (No!, I do not mean two girls for every guy! I mean two positive electrical charges, one on each hydrogen, are needed to combine with two negative electrical charges on one oxygen.)

For those of us who have no problem finding a date with a regular woman, the whole point of the hobby is safety and discretion. Note this observance, if most of the regular women offered the guys discretion there would be less need for the hobby. I have seen mean and dishonest people in my life: I don't want them in my life.

Enough for now, I have to get back to work.

JR

[Andrea Davis]

I AM,

I think you might be forgetting that providers are people too. I can tell when a guy could care less about me and who I am. Those are usually men that try to break my rules and have some sort of problems with women in general. If I visit with a client and it starts out that way, I will end the date right then and there. Their is no need to let someone treat me like a piece of meat. A majority of my clients are my closest friends. We talk and share and give each other relationship advice. Its a great bond that we have. I don't think I should waste my time on someone who could care less, or even think less about me.

xoxo Andrea

[Sens55]

Well, Andrea, it's obvious then, through your desire to have friendships instead of just sex that you are danger, a stalk and a psycho!