When hobby and civilian life accidentally meet

[Dandito]

Originally Posted by sancocho

+1 on that old ASPD review, TTH.

"Honey, this is Juicy Lucy. She's the one who showed me that thing you like so much."

Not sure if this is the one, but it's one of the funniest things I've read in a while.
I pulled this out of the time capsule.


http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=8243


Date: Mid August
Provider: Nope
Phone or Pager: Nope
Email Address: Can't give you that, either
URL / Website:http://
City: Chicago
State: Illinois
Area / Address: Twilight Zone
Appointment Type: Incall
Provider Category: Independent
Activities: Severe embarrasment, egg on face, tightening of all orifices, followed by dinner and tense conversation
Session Length Scheduled: 1hr
Fee: 3C's
Total Paid: Court Ordered
Was Tipping or Upselling an issue?
Was the Description you were given accurate? yes
Hair Color and Length: Black, and longer than before
Age: 45
Race: caucasian
Perfume/Fragrance: Fresh and all Natural
Smoking Status: Could Not Tell Either Way
Where did you hear about this provider? A friend who may never let me live this one down
Provider`s Body: Still very pretty.
What was the Provider's Attitude like? You have GOT to be kidding me.
Comments: Since I have no idea what might be the appropriate forum for this, I'll just put it here. If it gets moved, great. It probably deserves it's own category.

Some of ya'll might remember long ago when I had an interesting session with another Chicago lady, who probably had more Xanax in her than the local pharmacy. Couldn't make that one up, and I damn sure couldn't make this one up either. It really happened. I'll turn gay before I ever go through Chicago again.

See, a good old UTR friend of mine who travels quite a bit often gives me ideas for certain other cities. Knowing that I get to Chicago quite a bit, he mentioned a former flight attendant there who happens to provide. Very much on the QT, but beautiful he said. Sent me a pic and a phone number, with a strong recommendation. Even with the face blurred out, there was something oddly familiar about her. The body was great - but there was this strange twinge of familiary in the jawline. A real HDH, which intrigued me. And so I placed the call. The voice didn't ring a bell so much, even though something still seemed...well...curious. I chalked it up to one of those vibes we get about a woman who reminds us of someone we once knew. It was strangely pleasant, but with a sense of foreboding. But when the little head starts to talk...

So I get there, mull around pursuing business till the appointed hour, and head for the incall. Downstairs. Nice place. Upscale. Fantasy stuff. Great hotel. Upper floors. The view of the skyline will be great tonight. So, like an idiot, I turn the radar off, shutdown the early warning system, get on the elevator, and blithely head up - totally ignoring a bad feeling of deja vu. Bad move.

Off the elevator. The sign says the room is to the right. Walk down the hall. Find the room. Notice a do not disurb sign on the handle. SOP. Knock, with roses under my arm and wine in hand. Straighten up, shoulders back, suck in stomach. Smile. Blue pills have had an hour. Armed and ready. Raise eyebrow for effect. Door opens.

Twenty-four years it's been, but there was no mistaking who opened the door.

Helloooooooo, ex-wife.

No lie.

The Hindenberg didn't deflate as fast as I did. Both of us inhaled so fast we nearly sucked up the carpet. Nearly simultaneous "YOU?"
Stammering, Nervous laughter. Pee'd britches. Long pause. Really lonnnnnng pause. "Uh, hi." 'Nother realllllllllly long pause. Realization that the evening's plans ain't gonna happen. Concern that my soldier might in fact never salute again. Quick prayer for a heart attack to take me right there and then. Small talk. Verrry small. Followed by "Er, ya wanna go get something to eat?"

Dinner conversation? Sortof like this: "Did you do this when we were...?" Followed by "Did YOU do this when we were...?"

Check.

Friends, you can call duck or BS or whatever on this one if you wish - but as I live and breathe I have never in all creation ever, EVER had anything remotely like this happen in my existence. Turned out she turned to the hobby after a furlough awhile back, and never went back to flying. Planes, that is. Still gorgeous - but I'd been down this road before, and it cost a helluva lot more than $300. With dessert, this time it only cost about $80.

So far.

Walked her back up, wished her well, shook hands...and I slunk away like Carl Spackler after the priest missed the putt. Got back to my hotel. took two aspirin, three naproxen, one Ambien...hit a glass of Scotch...and called my friend. Who laughed his ass off. And bet me that I wouldn't repeat this strange tale in public. Believe me when I say that I debated posting this for almost a month. It took that long for the blood to return from whence it had drained.

And now, I have just recouped the cost of my dinner in hell.

Give you her name and contact info? No. I promised her I wouldn't. Not sure why she asked that, but I'm pretty sure I know why I agreed.

Blackmail, first. Than there's the fact that plenty of other jokers on here get to Chicago, too...and it's probably just plain better if you didn't know. I can tell you this though. By all accounts she's improved considerably in 24 years.
Or maybe it was me. Either way. If you knew, you might giggle at the wrong moment - at one or both of us.

The morale? Always listen to that little voice. Do not shut it out. It's probably an echo.
Would you recommend this Provider to others? NO

[pyramider]

Since no one seems to be posting taint how would I recognize anyone?

[outoftheblue]

Good story OD. But didnt the flight attendant and age really tip you off? Come to think of it, maybe you really wanted it to be her.

[Guest113018-1]

Last year I had an appointment with a well reviewed provider and during our initial get to know one another convo she happened to ask what I do for a living. As I was telling her what I did I kind of let it slip the name of the company where I work. Then she ask me if I new so and so and I said yes. She just giggled and said that he was her ex father-in-law. She made me promise never to mention it to him that we had ever met or how. So now every time I see him at work I think of her and that I should try to get back to see her so I can tell her how he is doing.

[Brass Balls]

I was having lunch with my boss at Chili's one day when I recognized our waitress as a provider I had seen before. It had been a few months but I knew it was her. I was thinking she knew too as she kept looking at me really funny. I finally went to the restroom and was able to find her to say "Hi". Not only did she remember me but we got together later after I got off work!

More recently I was with a provider that let it slip when and where she went to high school. My first thought was 42 years old my ass and then my second thought kicked in, son of a bitch! I went to high school with this lady! To be fair there was 800 people in my graduating class so I didn't remember her but later I did find her in my old yearbook. Along with a very young looking me.

[phildo]

Just for the weird factor, I saw Kendall4u's ad on occasion in BP, and here, and I know in my right mind she is too young and, from reviews, too tall, but she is a carbon copy, looks wise, of my first wife. The head and shoulders shots are uncanny. From the first time I saw her ad I felt a sense of familiarity and thought, "That would be a cool visit". Until it sunk in, which was pretty quick, that what I saw that had given me that old home feeling was, in fact, an old home feeling!

This is not a stalking post or anything weird, but they say we all have a doppleganger somewhere, and last I heard, like around 1995, Kendall's is an older, shorter, bi-polar woman in the Minneapolis area. Even weirder? Her maiden last name is even scarier. Whew...............

[Brass Balls]

I love the story about the ex-wife. I know that will never happen to me, my ex couldn't survive on one session a year.

[Guest113018-1]

hey phildo, just make an appointment with her and remove all doubts. besides, she is a good visit.

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by Dan4424

Not sure if this is the one, but it's one of the funniest things I've read in a while.
I pulled this out of the time capsule.


http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=8243

Dan, thanks a million. That is indeed The Saint's "review" of his ex-wife. I laughed so much I ended up in a coughing fit event though this is about the forth or fifth time I've read it. It's an inherently funny situation, but it's so fucking well written.

Twenty-four years it's been, but there was no mistaking who opened the door.

Helloooooooo, ex-wife.

No lie.

The Hindenberg didn't deflate as fast as I did. Both of us inhaled so fast we nearly sucked up the carpet. Nearly simultaneous "YOU?"

Stammering, Nervous laughter. Pee'd britches. Long pause. Really lonnnnnng pause. "Uh, hi." 'Nother realllllllllly long pause. Realization that the evening's plans ain't gonna happen. Concern that my soldier might in fact never salute again. Quick prayer for a heart attack to take me right there and then.

[Taylor Sims]

It happens and thank God we had fun and it is always a pleasure when I see him texting or calling. He is lucky I didnt work in his office or he would have had alot of late nites on the desk..........

[Phrodo]

Originally Posted by Brass Balls

I love the story about the ex-wife. I know that will never happen to me, my ex couldn't survive on one session a year.

Your ex was a slut compared to mine.

[barman84]

The now pin ups old whatever the hell it's called now. I walked in and this drop dead blonde was on the swing so me and a friend sit down in front of the stage to tip. She flips backwards we see each other and she drops my name and covers and runs. About 30 minutes pass and she comes back and sits down and ask if its awkward I said hell no remember when we got busted by the cops in high school I. The bed of my truck with a smile. Proud to say that was an even better night than I or probably she hoped for!

[Gentlemen Rendezvous]

I decided to contact her via her hobby email.
I told her essentially that I thought we might have worked together at X and I would like to schedule a time but wanted it to be her decision if she wanted to.

I will report back on the outcome.

[sumhornydude]

I saw the ad of the younger sister of a lady I know. I always thought she was hot, but she was off limits because she had some mild autism type disorder from what I was told. That kind of sucked. She seemed to drop off the radar here though which is good knowing that situation. Don't ask who it is, I won't say.

[Dandito]

Originally Posted by Gentlemen Rendezvous

I decided to contact her via her hobby email.
I told her essentially that I thought we might have worked together at X and I would like to schedule a time but wanted it to be her decision if she wanted to.

I will report back on the outcome.

Nice GR!
I think being honest about the connection is the right thing to do. Also keeping a little bit of mystery will make it fun! Hopefully she says yes! Let us know how it goes!