Dating an escort?

[frizzo]

To answer the above, no I would not expect her to quit the biz. And no, I'm not seeking an open relationship in that I'd be faithful and outside of work, so would she. And as to this being my first post, well I came to this site via a search engine because I was seeking info on this topic. I'm not a "hobbyist" but seeking a LTR with a provider. I know it's odd, but there you go.

[Chevalier]

Originally Posted by frizzo

This would be for love.

Nothing wrong with that, and nothing wrong (in my opinion) with dating a lady who happens to be an escort. You're right, they need love and companionship too.

But if it's for love, why are you specifically targeting an escort to date? I normally think of "love" in terms of a reaction to a lady's personality and character, rather than her profession. To me, your inquiry sounds as strange as "I am seeking a LTR, possibly even marriage, with [an accountant/a realtor/an optician/etc]." (posted in a different kind of forum than ECCIE, of course) Why restrict yourself to a particular profession? Isn't the particular lady, rather than her profession, what's most important where love is concerned?

Yeah, I'm familiar with the old quote (by a mother): "it's as easy to fall in love with a rich man as with a poor man." And I suppose some people might specifically decide they wanted a LTR with an escort because of a perception that escorts are much better at or more interested in sex. But: (1) I'm not sure that perception is accurate (outside the business relationships); (2) escorts get plenty of sex at work and may be more interested in emotional interaction/support from their boyfriends rather than fucking; and (3) as strange as it may seem to some, there is much more to a LTR than sex. Focusing only on escorts for a romantic relationship seems as odd as excluding escorts from consideration for such relationships.

But, if that's what you want, good luck.

[frizzo]

Yes, much of what you say is indeed correct. I'm not expecting her to be sex maniac at home, and in fact expect even less sex than normal since no one likes to bring their work home with them. Sure, I'd be happy enough with any lady who made me happy. I guess your optometrist analogy is a good one - if the man in question had some special connection to optometry he might indeed restrict himself to optometrists.

[seductivesarah]

i love you frizzo yes we need love too and if you are ok and supportive of what she does then that is great and the relationship should go well one thing i have had problems with is guys seem ok with my job at first but when their emotions get involved they want me to quit and i am not going to do that

[frizzo]

I'd NEVER expect her to quit. I have seriously dated a provider before so I know this isn't an issue for me. Thanks for the sweet words!

[Tetas]

Originally Posted by frizzo

if the man in question had some special connection to optometry he might indeed restrict himself to optometrists.

I know I'm just going off MY life experiences here, but what was the "special connection" that makes you want another one so bad?

I married a nurse, cold-hearted, unfeeling bitch, I won't even date one now.
I dated an engineer, critical, manipulative, over-analyzing chick, won't date another.

Now, before the ladies lynch me, I know that not every woman is alike, even when they have the same job, they are all unique snowflakes...which is kinda my point...knowing that all women are individuals, what was it about her JOB that makes you want to marry a provider?

[frizzo]

For one thing - HONESTY! If your woman can come home and tell her man all about the 12 guys she slept with that day, then you know you can trust her. What possible secrets could/would she keep? And to be honest, it does kind of turn me on. But I'm also very good at and enjoy the "boyfriend" type of things (cooking, flowers, cuddling, etc) and providers APPRECIATE them in a way that other women do not. There are many reasons why. It is just what I know will make me happy.

[Tetas]

I'll buy that.
Seriously, good luck to you.
Most of us have no idea what we really want, you do so I truly hope you find it.

[lisa.lisa0302]

Nope, would not do it....no thanks.

Too much work and hidden disclaimers around.

However good luck with your decisions.

[smiley]

Frizzo, I appreciate that you are investigating this. One thought I had is that escorting is a very fleeting profession. There are dozens of girls announcing their entry into and retirement from the business on this board everyday. There are over 5,000 girls on P411, and just 105 of them advertise that they are over 40. If a big part of your attraction to a girl is the fact that she's an escort, how will you cope when she inevitably decides to do something else? A decision that becomes exponentially more likely when she is in the financial and emotional security of a LTR.

[guest010313]

(2) escorts get plenty of sex at work and may be more interested in emotional interaction/support from their boyfriends rather than fucking;

Oy on this one. I have been seeing someone that lives in another part of the state. We met up here, and the next time he came back to hang out guess what he wanted to do? Sit in the hotel room and fuck. There was a VERY serious discussion of why this is not acceptable during my free time lol. (Yes, by all means lets, but can we DO something first?)

[Jackie S]

Frizzo, have you ever been married?

The reason I ask is there is a big difference in being legally married to someone and simply 'being together'. You can walk away from "being together", not so easy when the State says you are married.

I was fortunate that I had a great Woman as my Wife, and Lover, for almost 30 years. There was love, commitment, and taking literally the phrase., "till death do us part". Now, as time has past, I choose to have a "relationship" with a Lady who is a Provider, but it is not the same thing. Yes, I like Her a lot, and I enjoy being with Her. For lack of a better word, she is my ATF. But I have no illusions what so ever about our "relationship". Being a Provider is what she does for a living.

Perhaps you should find a Provider that you really like, and simply see her on a regular basis for a while, and see what happens. Form a relationship with Her, and take it as far as she will allow, or to be more realistic, as far as your pocketbook will allow. Then, see if her saying, "you have to go, I have another client in a couple of hours", makes you feel uneasy, then you have found out a lot about how you really feel about such things without making a huge committment that a true marriage entails.

Sarah makes a good point. A guy might fall in love with a Provider, and at first say, "I am ok with what you do", but then later down the road decide that he no longer feels comfortable with what she does for a living, and demand that she quit. It would be much better to find all of this out before you say "I do".

Good Lord, making a marriage work is a difficult endevour. Do not take it lightly.

[awl4knot]

Frizzo,

Since you seem to reject the really sage advice being offered to you, let me tell you the practical problem you have. There is no way you can meet providers outside of the business unless you meet them first in a professional capacity. There aren't bars and restaurants where off duty providers congregate. They don't have a union hall where you can find them playing pool and cards. They are just ordinary people and if you happen to meet one, then it is just serendipity or happenstance.

So if your quest is to hook up emotionally with a provider, it seems like you first need to hook up with them physically, and that will cost you.

But do us a favor. Will you report back on a quarterly basis about your progress? It will be interesting.

[BellaIsabella]

Hi Frizz, My husband is a man that I met while I was an escort (I'mretired now, it was a little more complicated then just having him as a client, we had met prior and then he hired me.

He actually didn't sleep him until we went out on our first date. ( it a long story read my blog for the whole thing LOL)

I also had "lovers"who were former clients

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by BellaIsabella

Hi Frizz, My husband is a man that I met while I was an escort (I'mretired now, it was a little more complicated then just having him as a client, we had met prior and then he hired me.

He actually didn't sleep him until we went out on our first date. ( it a long story read my blog for the whole thing LOL)

I also had "lovers"who were former clients

same here.
so i suggest if you want an escort as lover you book some and see if more develops. :-) sometimes you might get lucky!