HOBBY MISTAKES - some are funny; some are not

[Tara Evans]

If I offer you alcohol to wipe off to clean yourself please dont ask me to make you a bourbon and coke.

[cubsoxbull]

[quote=Carly's Angels;584562]Gents, wash your ass, lmmfao!!!

I'm sure you ladies run into this more than us guys do, but either way
clean is an absolute necessity. Body wash is pretty cheap nowadays for both the guys and gals, and if you can't afford that you can still buy a bar of soap for under a buck.

[ithyphallicus]

LOL!!!

Originally Posted by Tara Evans

If I offer you alcohol to wipe off to clean yourself please dont ask me to make you a bourbon and coke.

[Braveheart]

Tara --- Toooooooooooooo funny!!! Did that really happen?

[lionheart]

Nice thread, braveheart! Although now I'm craving a bourbon and coke with Tara...and I have managed to forget everything else that's been talked about! Can we please start over?

[Tara Evans]

Originally Posted by Braveheart

Tara --- Toooooooooooooo funny!!! Did that really happen?

Yes the sad thing is that it did.

[Hayden Hightower]

1. Please dont come into the lobby of my condo and ask the lady working at the front desk for "Hayden Hightower". I give very clear instructions on what to do when you arrive at my incall, and unfortunately, it slipped my mind to notify the building personel of my hooker name. (Yes, this did happen....)

2. If you fit into the my client restrictions, pleasebook an appointment anyways. Nothing is more uncomfortable than turning someone away when they show up for their appointment, bc they did not care about my wishes on clients I refuse to see. (Yes, this has also happened...)

3. Hygeine: Please be clean, with fresh breath. I have fully stocked facilities to ensure you are 'date-ready'. If you are not, freshly showered, please take a few minutes to freshen up or shower. If you can't take the time and effort to smell clean, and BE CLEAN, don't expect a very GFE date......

[Braveheart]

Here's something very GOOD that a provider did.

If you're a little directionally handicapped like me, you can walk into a hotel lobby you've never visited before and not be sure which way to turn for the elevator or certain wing of the building. One provider talked me in the right direction on the phone, like "Go in the main doors and the front desk is to your left. On the opposite side is the corridor opposite the front desk. Walk to your right down that corridor."

If you're like me, stumbling around a lobby (even a little) is very awkward. You want to walk in and be confident and certainly not ask for a specific room number... Good job, mystery provider.

[TheGiftedOne]

I had a lady some years ago tell me, "Whew, I'm kinda tired. You're my last appointment of the day. I had 7 today!". Never good to divulge that much info.

[mtabsw]

+1

[UTR4Passion]

#1: Ladies, this is more likely to happen with shared accomodations, but it has happened twice to me. Please scan the anticipated encounter site and remove used wrappers and condoms. On the 1st event, I stepping on a used condom and that kinda spoiled the illusion part of the date. The 2nd time, I saw the condom on the floor just as she was entering the room with 2 glasses and a wonderful bottle of red wine. So, I casually dropped my napkin and when she reached down to pick it up for me, she could have easily wisked the napkin and condom away. But, instead she was so horrified that she gasped and gave away her opportunity to be discrete.

#2: If I ask to use your bathroom to freshen-up and I close the door, please don't re-open the door while I'm in there. If you want to join me in the shower, just say so and I will let you know if I need a couple of minutes of personal time, first.

#3: If I request a last minute appointment and you are out of supplies, I will be happy to stop and shop for you, Just let me know. However, if we have a set date please make sure you have supplies in inventory. Nothing kills the mood like opening the drawer and discovering an empty box! Maybe this goes back to #1, things that can and have happened when sharing a location.

#4: Do not wait for me to arrive and then announce your period has also just arrived and services are limited/cancelled. You should know your cycle and anticipate it, or maybe something is seriously wrong. Of course, you might have been expecting Tom Selleck or Brad Pitt or maybe I remind you of your brother or uncle!

#5: While we are in the heat of passion, that is not the time to tell me that my cologne reminds you of your father!!!

#6: We all have our preferences, if I arrive and you don't like me, let me know. I don't want a date that is lackluster because I'm not in your preferences range. Better yet, pre-screen me and try to insure that we will be compatible, I know I did.

This does not apply to ECCIE providers, but it did happen in a good part of town.
#7: I am pumping gasoline, close to Vista Ridge, and my son 12-year-old son is standing next to me. Two girls pull-in to the next pump, get out, walk over and offer both of us blow jobs for a tank of gas. WTF!!! Yes, I had some explaining to do to my son on our way home. And yes, they were real, I found there post on CL that night for a location off 35E.

And my least favorites . . .

#8: Don't ask me to drive you around to your other appointments!!! Yes, that happened before I discovered ASPD.

#9: A well known provider / lunatic. We have a date scheduled and sometime before that, several of your friends/family show-up to have a party. I text my arrival for the gate code and she gave it to me. I arrive at her incall / home and I'm greeted by about 10 people who know I have an appointment and direct me down the hall. Thankfully none of them knew me as I turned and walked away. What was she thinking?!!!

[Guest062124]

Originally Posted by UTR4Passion

#4: Do not wait for me to arrive and then announce your period has also just arrived and services are limited/cancelled. You should know your cycle and anticipate it, or maybe something is seriously wrong. Of course, you might have been expecting Tom Selleck or Brad Pitt or maybe I remind you of your brother or uncle!

That is not always true. Some of us are out of the safe range for taking BC pills that let us know the exact date our periods will arrive. I have been "fixed" since my last baby... and I never know an exact date or time. It has happened to me three times...with no warning right before an appointment. I usually let a gentleman know that I am on watch and may have to cancel. But don't assume that our bodies run the same cycle every month. Not all of us are that lucky.

[Jasser]

Originally Posted by reese foster

That is not always true. Some of us are out of the safe range for taking BC pills that let us know the exact date our periods will arrive. I have been "fixed" since my last baby... and I never know an exact date or time. It has happened to me three times...with no warning right before an appointment. I usually let a gentleman know that I am on watch and may have to cancel. But don't assume that our bodies run the same cycle every month. Not all of us are that lucky.

Meh, I like my meat rare anyway so no harm.

[Jules Jaguar]

#4: Do not wait for me to arrive and then announce your period has also just arrived and services are limited/cancelled. You should know your cycle and anticipate it, or maybe something is seriously wrong. Of course, you might have been expecting Tom Selleck or Brad Pitt or maybe I remind you of your brother or uncle!


ok i have a issue with this statement! hunny every lady does not have a regular cycle there are many things that can throw us off balance such as stress & birth control and many of us just dont have regular cycles to begin with!

[Jules Jaguar]

lol reese we were both typing at the same time