Quote:
Originally Posted by countrycurious
We have a very open minded sexual relationship and i find it erotic to talk to her about it.
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One thing I would be careful about is making sure you don't fetishize her work. Because, as the insightful gentlemen before have said, it is work. Like all work, there are good days (very, very good days
) and there are bad days (nightmares, believe me). She's been a sex object before and as much fun as that can be (trust me, it can be pretty damn fantastic), it's not healthy in long term relationships, especially not ones as intimate as marriage.
I believe it may be good to do a lot of personal introspection on how you think of her past work (is the idea of her work basically jerk off material? Or do you feel your relationship is incomplete without knowing this piece of her past?) and how important it is for you to know about every detail of it. I mean, if she were an accountant, how much would you honestly care about every single client she ever had? If you do feel you need to know this piece of her past and you know it's uncomfortable for her to talk to you about it, I would advise three things; firstly, take a long, hard (
) look at your own past and see what skeletons you've got rattling around there that you would feel uncomfortable revealing to your future wife. Baring souls when both parties have something deeply personal to share leaves neither party feeling that they're at a disadvantage or have been left metaphorically naked. Secondly, don't push the issue but make sure she knows it's something you want to have talked out before you tie the knot. And finally, don't have these conversations in bed or in sexual situations, have them in a more neutral setting like over breakfast or coffee or while you're taking a relaxing walk. Her past has to come out on her terms or there will be serious and long lasting repercussions.
Just my very long winded two cents. Hope you guys have a long and fantastic marriage!
