Sex with SO vs sex with a provider

[Angel Ryder]

I'm not a man, clearly, but I have a feeling it has a lot to go with your comfort level, as others have replied. You know your SO, she knows you. You are not thinking about a million things, like "is she enjoying herself?" or "Is my hygiene up to her standards?" or "am I big enough?" you are way more relaxed and you know that you can take your time with your SO, without feeling pressured to get off in a certain time frame specified.

Although with a provider, there is the IOP, it can still be difficult because everything can sometimes feel so...mechanical. Most of the time you are with a stranger, who is not familiar with the type of lover you are in the sack and so it may take a bit for your bodies to get in sync with each other so that there aren't so many awkward moments.

With a provider, you are looking for the best positions to get you off in a certain amount of time and depending on what you like in bed and how many activities you enjoy, you may not really get the chance to try all of them, or you may not have as much time as you would like for foreplay because the clock is running, so you are forced to give each position, or foreplay activities a cut-off time,

[OldGrump]

You are accustomed to the feeling and response of your SO. A provider is a new feeling and sensation that can accelerate the functions. If your SO pulled a new move on you or did something different, my guess is you would react more quickly.

[jimmylbob]

Sex with SO is waaaay more costly than sex with a provider! [palm slap to forehead]

[Kendall4U]

I think it's sad that so many of you aren't getting any at home....thank goodness for us ladies of the night, day, morning......
Hobby safely folks!

[Diznutz]

Do you maybe feel that you're doing something wrong.. Maybe having seconds thoughts as you're beginning your session with a provider... Most of us here are single or on here bc our SO doesn't satisfy us at home, but seems like you don't have that problem. I think after a couple of times that tingle in your belly goes away and if it hasn't by now you might not belong on this site! That's just my thought!

[redman1501]

The SO never does BJs anymore and if I'm lucky I get a position(1of3) and that's maybe once every month or three.

The rest of the time she's all like....

[Prolongus]

Originally Posted by OldGrump

You are accustomed to the feeling and response of your SO. A provider is a new feeling and sensation that can accelerate the functions. If your SO pulled a new move on you or did something different, my guess is you would react more quickly.

If she pulled a new move I would HAVE to ask where she found out about it...

[samantha thom]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Wait!!! SOs have sex?

?? Huh? That's weird! I've never had an SO who doesn't want to have sex with me.

[atf searcher]

This thread is probably more entertaining for the single guys than it is for the married guys. All it does is confirm why we are single and what we are not missing.

Isn't there an old saying - When the ring goes on the finger the cock stops going in the mouth.

Just curious , do any of your SO's give you DT/BBNQNS or greek?

I think there is another old saying - The best pussy is STRANGE pussy.

You providers don't act shocked you've got to admit you like seeing a strange cocks.

[sirliamscross]

Well, I guess my situation is weird. My SO is still as attractive to me as the day we met. Her libido has slowed slightly, but not drastically. I guess I just like to meet new girls and hey, who doesn't like BJ's?

Maybe it is all mental. Maybe I feel guilty. I actually hobby with permission from my SO, but I can't help but feel it's a combination of lack of familiarity and guilt that keeps me from really enjoying myself.

My SO is very supportive and encourages me to explore my sequel desires. I guess I just need to figure out what makes the big head as turned on as the little head.

[atf searcher]

That's interesting to me because that was going to be my next question. Any of your SO's know you do this, with or without their approval? Any of your SO's read eccie?

I can say that just about all the providers I have met in the hobby are much better fucks that the girls I met outside the hobby. And I didn't have any trouble getting dates.

[WacoGuy]

I guess I'm VERY lucky. My wife is 56 (married when teenagers). She's always really loved sex, but in the last six months has come unhinged in that department - opening up to a couple of other guys (with my blessing), taking me to strip clubs, getting dances herself, just enjoying FREEDOM. It delights me! She has also encouraged me to connect with other women (which I have yet to do).

[doug_dfw]

Originally Posted by sirliamscross

OK, maybe this has been covered, but...

When I'm with my SO, I'm rock hard in 10 seconds. And I can perform like a pro. 30 min, 45 min, no worries on finishing before she does. Its like that for 10+ years.

ON THE OTHER HAND... When I'm with a provider, it takes a minute or two to get going. And on the rare occasion where I did partake in FS (just a couple of times over 5+ yes hobbying) or even during a BJ - I'm ready to pop in like 1 or 2 min.

Anyone else experience this? Seems like it should be the other way around. The only time I get rock hard is when a provider does something that activates the dirty part of my mind. Its weird how much of this is a mental hobby vs just being a physical release.

Why are you hobbying? My guess: Anticipation euphoria. Then not that, think guilt. Or fear of consequence. Whatever- you will trip up and face the consequences if you are not covering all bases.

I speak from experiences s s .

[doug_dfw]

Originally Posted by Slim.

I'm not a man, clearly, but I have a feeling it has a lot to go with your comfort level, as others have replied. You know your SO, she knows you. You are not thinking about a million things, like "is she enjoying herself?" or "Is my hygiene up to her standards?" or "am I big enough?" you are way more relaxed and you know that you can take your time with your SO, without feeling pressured to get off in a certain time frame specified.

Although with a provider, there is the IOP, it can still be difficult because everything can sometimes feel so...mechanical. Most of the time you are with a stranger, who is not familiar with the type of lover you are in the sack and so it may take a bit for your bodies to get in sync with each other so that there aren't so many awkward moments.

With a provider, you are looking for the best positions to get you off in a certain amount of time and depending on what you like in bed and how many activities you enjoy, you may not really get the chance to try all of them, or you may not have as much time as you would like for foreplay because the clock is running, so you are forced to give each position, or foreplay activities a cut-off time,

Excellent Explanation You are right on the "time factor". It really does need the chemistry, more so for old farts. i' so lucky with my ATF. We just click.

[jimmylbob]

Originally Posted by Kendall4U

I think it's sad that so many of you aren't getting any at home....thank goodness for us ladies of the night, day, morning......
Hobby safely folks!

Awwww, thanks for that sentiment, Kendall! Hope to meet you someday! (maybe THN can introduce us! )