Guess after all my years I finally made it big... got me a psycho note. :D

[pyramider]

Why is Ze allowed to post an ad in coed?

[Jules Jaguar]

I was excited when i finally got it a few months ago too! Finally we made it

[Tara Evans]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Why is Ze allowed to post an ad in coed?

LOl. Why is the sky blue

[DallasRain]

I got an email similar to that a month ago....here is what I sent back to them

[Glenn Quagmire]

That misquoted biblical nonsense made me think of one of my favorite cartoons...

[Guest092216]

Originally Posted by The Proper Stranger

So I was bored and curious exactly how full of shit this guy was, and went a Biblin'. The process was made a bit more difficult since he's apparently too lazy to cite verse along with chapter, but here goes:

Revelation 21 - He's got to be referring to Rev. 21:8. Of note, the list of those deserving burnination also includes all liars and the cowardly/fearful. Did the guy sign his real name there, or is he a chicken-shit that should be going to Hell himself according to the same verse he quotes? The liar thing will come up too. A B- start

Sodom & Gomorrah - Not even going to bother quoting, eh? Just as well, since the story's got nothing to do with anything we wouldn't also condemn here. Town got burned down for being full of the kind of folks who wanted to rape their (male) visitors. It's conceivably a condemnation of homosexuality, but not of prostitution, adultery, fornication, etc. A better argument could actually be made that the town got burned for not having any respect for hospitality of invited guests. Nifty picture though, I want one of those. C-

The Worms in Hell - Mark 9 contains a crap load more than that, and labeling the whole chapter as "The Worms in Hell" is pretty damn misleading (see all liars go to Hell from Rev 21:8). The part he's bound to be referring to (Mark 9:42-50) at best could be construed as "Hell sucks, so anything you have to do that might injure yourself to avoid it is a bargain." All about looking after your own self, not sending screeds to someone else you think is screwing up. Again, neat picture, I want one. Still C-

Died & Saw Hell - This one's even worse. There is no mention in Isaiah 66 of Hell, fire and brimstone, or anything even remotely related to dying and seeing Hell. The closest is a couple verses that basically say "God's gonna smite his enemies" as in kill them here on Earth. So I hope he's packing is fire retardant clothes, because that puts him in the liar category again. Interesting find there: "These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit..." His rant doesn't sound too humble to me either. D

Jude - Uh, nothing about fornicators in there. There's a callback to Sodom and Gomorrah, giving them as "an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire." But that's it. D-

Wicked Whore Jezebel - More pulling shit straight out of his ass. Jezebel was the wife of a king who got her husband to switch religions, abused her power to get some people killed, and for an ill gotten land deal. Nothing to do with fuckin' in there. The only association between whores and Jezebel was that she wore makeup, and at a much later and farther away point in history wearing makeup was associated with prostitution. It's like saying Sitting Bull is a gay icon because Native Americans smoked tobacco, and the English call cigarrettes "fags," only stupider. The picture also makes no sense in context. F

Hell From Beneath - Again, nothing Hell related. A quick read seems like it's just a poetic way of saying "everybody dies, even kings". And was he working on a geology report at the same time and pasted in the wrong pic? Did his middle school teacher get a screenshot of impaled burning angels from The Prophecy above a paragraph about magma convection?

Hidden in the Torah - I got nothin'. No clue what he's trying to get from this one. Is that a crossword puzzle in Hebrew?

1st Corinthians - 1st Corinthians what? There's 16 friggin' chapters. Fuck digging through all of that to find whatever single verse he snatched out of context and mangled into that "quote".

Hebrews 13:4 - Wait, is that an actual, honest to God, proper biblical citation? And on a verse that actually sort of says what he typed? And no bullshit quotation marks when it isn't actually a quotation? I think he might be able to pull a D- out of this paper after all. Oh, wait, shitty sentence construction. What he should've typed is "GOD WILL JUDGE, FORNICATORS!" if addressing the fornicators, or "GOD WILL JUDGE FORNICATORS!" if only saying that fornicators will be judged, but not intending to address the target as a fornicator. Back to an F As it stands, the sentences are separate, so what or who is being addressed or judged is unclear, and fornicators are apparently being advertised. I'll take 3.

Final Quote - Completely unsourced. He earned his F. I will rebut with my own quote:

"Don't be a dick!" - Jesus

Sounds like it was written by a hooker.

I have not received the email myself, but if I ever do I will reply with the story of Jesus washing the prostitute, Mary Magdalene's feet, as a reminder that a genuinely pious person devotes themselves to servitude and lifting people up.

(And then I would send him a picture of my pussy.)

[DallasRain]

quote---(And then I would send him a picture of my pussy.)

Woohooooo great response!!

[Guest092216]

I like yours better: "Of course I'm going to Hell. I own the place." No shit, it actually brought a tear to my eye.

[FunwithRandy]

What's a "fornicator" ?

[Chainsaw Anthropologist]

Originally Posted by FunwithRandy

What's a "fornicator" ?

.
A resident of Forney???

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Sounds like it was written by a hooker.

I have not received the email myself, but if I ever do I will reply with the story of Jesus washing the prostitute, Mary Magdalene's feet, as a reminder that a genuinely pious person devotes themselves to servitude and lifting people up.

(And then I would send him a picture of my pussy.)

If she even existed, Mary Magdalene was very likely not a prostitute.

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/histor...ene-119565482/

If you disregard the paring of the Gnostic gospels from the canon at the Council of Nicea, there is very strong evidence she was not.

[ozarka]

Originally Posted by Chainsaw Anthropologist

.
A resident of Forney???

Lol, funny!

[Hercules]

They always skip the juicy parts of the Bible. How many women did Abraham get to boink in order to conceive?

And some of my favorite Bible verses.

"So they pitched a tent (giggity) for Absalom on the roof, and he lay with his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel." II Samuel 16: 22.

PARTEEEEEEEE!

"I will accept no bull from your house" Psalms 50:9

[bojulay]

Originally Posted by FunwithRandy

What's a "fornicator" ?

It's someone that is for nicator/nicating as opposed to against.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by thathottnurse

(And then I would send him a picture of my pussy.)

All I ask for is a taint photo...