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Old 11-24-2009, 08:28 AM   #16
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Hey TxTsh, almost choked on my coffee laughing at that one; too funny!
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Old 11-24-2009, 09:14 AM   #17
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1. bad Smells (her breath, body, underarms, hair, feet, coochie)

Wow, I cannot believe that this would even be an issue. Common frickin sense!!

2. her cell phone ringing, or constantly ringing and she won't turn it off after it's known she left it on, or her taking a non-emergency call anytime during our appt.

I have forgotten to turn off my phone, but my gents can attest that if it starts to ring, I will shut it down immediately (unless of course, there are other more, shall we say, PRESSING matters at hand)

3. gets up to go do something in the bathroom during any activity or asking if she can have a quick cigarette break (yes both have happened)

Cigarette break? The average visit is only 1 hour. A person can't wait that long?!?

4. seeing me during her time of month, and not telling me and booking me, and letting me discover that on my own. yes, i've seen a string hanging-out before from a well-known provider and won't say who.

Thats just disturbing. Falls under the "right to know" category in my book.

5. any evidence around that another man has been there, makes me feel icky

Yeah, I try to eliminate evidence. Both for the comfort of my guests and just in case a hotel employee decides that there is a "maintenance issue" when I leave my room

6. visible trash can in a corner full of wipes and condom wrappers

Just... ew

7. her laughing about anything during sex

Now be fair. I have a big sense of humor and sometimes funny things just happen!! Now, there is a time and a place for everything---

8. her expecting me to go-down on her after fucking but she won't do the same

Fair is fair!!

9. mis-matched panty and bra colors (a personal pet peeve that turns me off)

What about no panties or bra??

10. pets lingering around in the bedroom while we're getting busy. can't cats keep themselves busy somewhere else?

Ah, another great reason to not live at your incall if you can avoid it.

11. animals whinning, crying, barking while we're trying to get busy

See above.

12. passionless, robotic, i'm not into this, sex with a provider

Yeah, whats the point

13. providers that insist the lights must be turned out and the room almost pitch black. what does she not want me to see, and if it's that bad, then my mind is thinking about that and not what we should be doing. ends-up killing the mood for me. fyi - i'm a lights fully on kind of guy. the more i see, the more i get turned-on

Now, I'm a dim lights person. I don't want it dark, but I do try to create ambiance. This is the kind of thing that you really should speak up about. Most providers will accomodate if you just let them know.

14. providers that say "so what you wanna do", can't we discover that together without me giving directions. i compare this to someone asking what you want for x-mas. i'd rather it be a surprise. hint, if a girl beomes a little proactive, gets me worked-up and into her, then i'm up for anything.

Yeah, this isn't about building a cabinet. There really aren't any instructions.

15. providers that lack imagination, lay there like a dead fish, and don't take charge a little bit (related to above). i prefer an appt in which it's 50-50 with regards to us both taking turns initiating activities. less is ok, but don't just lay there waiting for me to bark-out orders.

I don't just lay there, but unless I'm with a man that really prefers me to take charge, I generally let them lead. Its all about giving him what HE wants first.

16. providers that immediately ask that we both strip down. come on, can't we rub on each other first, get each other hot, enjoy undressing each other, and make it a GFE type of thing.

Taking clothes off of each other can be the most fun part sometimes.

17. providers that don't maintain eye contact. those that look at the wall, ceiling, or keep their eyes closed too much, really turn me off.

I have beautiful eyes and I know how to use them. I can't imagine not looking at a gent.

18. providers that start immediately getting dressed after I nut, especially if we've still got time on the clock!

Lol, my gents can confirm that I generally hide behind the door as they leave, because I'm still naked or semi-naked!!

19. her taking calls or checking voice mail, before I've left, or immediately after i nut, and my time still isn't up!

That phone stays off until the door closes behind you. Thats just common courtesy!! Come on!!

20. not asking if I'm allergic to cats, and her incall being at her home, full of cats everywhere, and cat hair all over her bed where my face is going to be close to it!

To be fair, this also falls under the heading of personal responsibility. If you know you are allergic to cats, then you should make sure there are no cats where you are going. Some ladies aren't going to consider it, because many gents will ask ahead of time if there are cats, dogs, smokers in the vicinity.

21. her being sick, or getting over a cold, constantly coughing, sneezing, or runny nose, and I'm suppose to get GFE and do LK/DFK with that?

Ew!!

22. meeting me at the door in just a towel or bathrobe. maybe its a personal thing, but i'd rather it be lingerie or street clothes with lingerie underneath.

I'm a street clothes kind of girl. You never know when a person may not be able to find you and you'll have to go meet him in a public common area. No sense in "looking the part" if you catch my drift.

23. her bed being unmade and giving the feeling that "she just f**ked someone in it 5 min before I got here". yes, I know she probably did, but I don't want to be thinking about it.

Ew!

24. several visible "donation envelopes" laying around and/or in the trash. again, do i really want to think about how many guys she's seen that day?

Yes. It seems that many ladies take the time to get rid of "other" evidence, but forget this. That envelope is just as telling as that condom wrapper!!

25. visible gifts on display that other guys brought her that day (i.e. a vase full of roses, liquor bottle with a bow on it, etc)

Really?!? Flowers I can see if its an apartment style incall. But other gifts should be put away.

26. dirty feet, especially if the bottoms of the feet are black.

Ew. But sometimes hard to avoid if you are going barefoot in a hotel. Their floors aren't always the cleanest.

27. tissue fuzz balls left on her coochie from her cleaning it, and even worse, my only way to discover them was on my tongue, because she insisted the room be dimmed or dark.

Retch!! This is why I must have plenty of time between people. I am a bather. I don't do baby wipes.

28. her going to pee before we get started, and you hear the flush, but you don't hear any sink water afterwards to wash her hands, and she's out the door 2 seconds after the flush. my first thought is "damn, if she didn't wash her hands, did she even clean the pee from her coochie, and if she doesn't clean-up good after peeing, does she clean-up at all inbetween customers"?

EW EW EW!!! I'm a med student and this just grosses me out!

29. provider with hickey marks on her neck. i don't wanna be kissing on a girl, while marks from where another dude "staked his claim" are starring at me.

Putting a hickey mark on my neck is a good way to get thrown out of my incall head first. Discretion is KEY. What is discreet about a giant sucker mark on my (or your) skin?!?

All of these have happened during appts and many are why I won't go back to certain providers. Are there any others some of you guy have encountered?


Wow, I'm sorry you've had to deal with ALL of these at some point or another. Some of it is really just common sense/courtesy/cleanliness in my book. Hope your future quests are better!!!
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Old 11-24-2009, 09:56 AM   #18
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Ouch---I have a headache!
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Old 11-24-2009, 11:05 AM   #19
Charlie Smart
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wow...you got the whole gambit pretty much covered!

as I mentioned before how about adding a gal having a very large snake under her bed!!!!
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Old 11-24-2009, 11:09 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jericho99 View Post
Ouch---I have a headache!

<evil grin> Want me to rub it and make it allllll better
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:51 PM   #21
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Default I didn't see these listed...

30. Track marks

31. Chicks with dicks



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Old 11-24-2009, 01:08 PM   #22
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Talking 32. Zackily

32. Zackily: When the provider's breath smells exactly like her ass.
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Old 11-24-2009, 01:51 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpi3000 View Post

30. Track marks

31. Chicks with dicks

Well I've encountered all the other ones I listed but thankfully neither of these! I think if I ran into # 31 I'd throw-in-the-towel and just give-up on hobbying
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:56 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpi3000 View Post
30. Track marks

31. Chicks with dicks



CPI, If this is your new ad, it needs to go in the proper forum
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Old 11-25-2009, 12:46 PM   #25
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Not a big thing, but if you smoke either bathe after or just go with the smoker smell don't spray perfume or whatever on you it really doesn't cover the smell up and tastes gross when I kiss my way down from your neck.
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Old 11-25-2009, 05:32 PM   #26
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Default Turnoffs

The provider working her cell phone before your session is complete.
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Old 11-30-2009, 02:48 PM   #27
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I have to go back to the SIZE QUEEN thing. Is there any providers out there that are really that stupid to memtion that? You talk about a job killing comment, could you just imagine what the reaction would be if a review came out about a provider that said,

" I wish you had a huge dick like the last 4 guys I saw today" or even better,

" All my regulars are hung like mules,but come in any way and try to have a good time, and by the way please wright a good review of me and please come back and see me again."


Please tell me that there are not any providers out there that are that stupid to mention this to a client.


And I have to agree with bestman200600, leave the cell phone off.
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Old 02-25-2010, 05:59 AM   #28
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What about when a silly provider mentions her "boyfriend" or "significant other" during the session. It's like, TMI! For a client, I would imagine it sort of ruins the fantasy. Being in the hobby, I would never have the desire have a boyfriend and subject him to my side gig, but several of my clients tell me that some girls they have seen discuss their boyfriends during the session. A total Homer Simpson "Doh!".
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Old 02-25-2010, 06:08 AM   #29
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Damn someone, BA, sure sounds high maintenance . . .

You forgot one . . . Kid knocking on door.
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Old 02-25-2010, 09:17 AM   #30
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When the provider tells you ."I just got over my period yesterday and it might not be too clean down there " as you are ready for DATY ......and she moves your head .....then says .."I dont like fingers inside of me either" ......so I proceeded on .....ready to grasp a breast and nibble,lick and suck a little ..she says ..."oh dont ,they are really sensative"..and so that ended any fun I was I going to have ......and had a very hard time with an erection from then on ...she was not my favorite provider ...to say the least ......but then again maybe it was me and she didnt care for me ...but didnt want to let the money go ......oh well life goes on .....maybe she will invite me back sometime .LOL I did find another that is simply fabulous ....
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