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Guest053011 · 02-02-2010, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notdeadyet

Is it any wonder that men are confused about women?

It's worth figuring out the rubix cube to rock a woman's world

Camille · 02-02-2010, 06:55 PM

In response to what Lauren and Thais said...

A few years ago, I addressed the issue that Lauren laid out (lack of carnality). My BF at the time said that he had once grabbed a girlfriends hair and she had really freaked out. I could understand his reticence. That said, I was still a bit hurt. I said to him, "I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me". I didnt feel that was quite enough for him so I alos said that if he incidentally hurt me, he could trust that I would say so immediately. He admitted a long time afterwards that this was what he needed (although he hadnt known at the time)....reassurance. Women are often preoccupied reassuring men these days that if they DO hurt them they will take action. Times have changed.

C

Guest053011 · 02-02-2010, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thais

I believe that's BDSM/kinky sex 101, isn't it?

Indeed it is. Somehow this doesn't register in my head as BDSM though the correlation of submission is obvious. Since I'm rambling: BDSM strikes me as being the theatre of life. It's very ritual oriented, it's decadent and ornate.

This is just raw life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thais

I suppose you need to make sure your mouth is not occupied for this to work...

Giggidy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camille

He admitted a long time afterwards that this was what he needed (although he hadnt known at the time)....reassurance. Women are often preoccupied reassuring men these days that if they DO hurt them they will take action. Times have changed.

C

Brilliant

Nicolette Morgandy · 02-02-2010, 07:08 PM

A little grabbing/pulling of the hair and slapping of the ass has never hurt anyone. *POW*

There are times when all one need is a good old-fashion pounding in ALL different types of sexual position, sweat oozing out of the pores, the intoxicating scent of sex as we bask in the afterglow of it all.

Thais · 02-02-2010, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Indeed it is. Somehow this doesn't register in my head as BDSM though the correlation of submission is obvious. Since I'm rambling: BDSM strikes me as being the theatre of life. It's very ritual oriented, it's decadent and ornate.

This is just raw life.

I think this concept of trust and control has been explained really well by the BDSM crowd, so I always felt it's easy to refer to them.

But you are right about the difference. Experiments with the typical BDSM and all its accessories generally leave me indifferent. It's that raw primal intensity of ravishing that truly does it for me.

You made me realize that I probably should stop bringing BDSM into conversations because it confuses people and muddles the expectations.

Guest053011 · 02-02-2010, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thais

You made me realize that I probably should stop bringing BDSM into conversations because it confuses people and muddles the expectations.

Actually I think it's a great comparison. You're right, the BDSM world has refined the concept of boundaries and consent. For those educated, it gives them a framework to put things into perspective.

Katy Alexander · 02-02-2010, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Of course context is everything. I have no idea what the woman back in 1940 had to live with everyday. If I were living in fear of violence, that wouldn't be a moment of submissive ecstasy, it would be degrading fear. Context is everything.

Meandering pointless post complete

Interesting point,I have been submissive ever since I can remember, but for me at least I find nothing attractive about out of control violence, or physical rape .I love to be dominated, but in order for that to happen he needs to be able to control me. A person who is truly violent has proven they have no control over themselves, and anyone who can not even control his own impulses will never be strong enough to dominate me.

I grew up in a home where violent outbursts were pretty common, so I have spent most of my adult life attempting to avoid those types of situations.For me a truly dominate man is the complete opposite of a violent one because he has the strength , and intelligence to not only understand his own emotions, but to handle mine as well.Both types may hurt ,or sexually use me in similar ways but one is doing it because he is week, and the other because he is mentally strong, and was chosen by me for that reason .For me at least that is the biggest difference between being treated like garbage, or being handed ecstasy, and eventually a calm peaceful mind.

WTF · 02-03-2010, 08:36 AM

...If you found out he was a OB_GYN from Canada?

Marcus Aurelius · 02-03-2010, 09:27 AM

When I was a wee lad of 18 I had a sexual romp with a cutie from work. Right after she asked me how it was. I said. "Good Baby. How was it for you?"
She said "OK, but you could have been rougher." I thought, WHATTTT?

And I was married for soooo long that I found out from guys at work that women liked to have their azz smacked and other things. So I experimented on the wife. A lot. Cool.

WTF · 02-03-2010, 09:57 AM

"Who's yo Daddy, baby?"... "Oh You Marcus''

Chevalier · 02-03-2010, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Context is everything.

And context includes not only whether in general you might enjoy the concept of the man taking what he wants, but also: (a) what exactly he wants; and (b) who he is. At least, I assume that you might welcome it from Frank but not from Joe, or might welcome certain activities but not others. Even if we stop immediately when she says no, we may fear her reaction. Will it be "no harm, no foul" or will she be offended and angry and fearful? There's some risk there.

Some guys may sense that and have good instincts, but others (including me) are horrible at "reading" women. So we wind up sacrificing the 20% (?) of the time she would enjoy submitting to that in order to avoid the uncomfortable situation from the other 80%. Maybe the solution is training guys in how to understand women better, although that may be a futile exercise.

John Bull · 02-03-2010, 10:28 AM

Almost certainly this type behavior would have to be with someone very close because to misread and attempt with a casual friend or occasional date would bring rape charges in many cases even though the lady didn't protest during the act (s). At the very least, you'd risk losing a friend.

Marcus Aurelius · 02-03-2010, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Bull

Almost certainly this type behavior would have to be with someone very close because to misread and attempt with a casual friend or occasional date would bring rape charges in many cases even though the lady didn't protest during the act (s). At the very least, you'd risk losing a friend.

Well said sir. It would take some time.

WTF · 02-03-2010, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Bull

Almost certainly this type behavior would have to be with someone very close because to misread and attempt with a casual friend or occasional date would bring rape charges in many cases even though the lady didn't protest during the act (s). At the very least, you'd risk losing a friend.

Well stated....I had written this*** last night. I do not think in this day and age that it is worth the risk.

***If it is someone you lust after it probably does not work...it sure as hell does not work if they only lust for you but if you lust each other it can work but even then only periodically.

That is not something I would be comfy doing on a first date....not even a tenth. I have dated a while before that trust was built and only with one person, ever. Not even sure it rose to that level.

Marcus Aurelius · 02-03-2010, 11:06 AM

No no. Not just lust.