Preparing to leave the hobby for love; should you say something?

[jojodancer15]

I believe honesty upfront in the relationship is the best policy. Some people can handle it, some people can't. At least you'd know were you stand with the other person. The only issue is, when to disclose the information?? You can't do it on the first date or can you??
If you don't share the info on the first date how far down the line do you wait before coming clean. AND is it too late by this time??? WTF - this shit is confusing...
I don't personally see how anyone can point the finger when 3 are coming back at you!! Date who you want and long live LOVE!!!

[Sistine Chapel]

Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

Having been through both experiences (having told the guy, and having not told the guy), I am now firmly in the "No" camp.

If it was a new relationship and I was no longer providing, I feel that what is in the past, is in the past, and that goes both ways. No need to necessarily disclose that information.

Perhaps a lot of men can deal with it, but in my experience, while many would like to think they can, many actually cannot.

So once it's told do you think it's the number of partners, 'depravity' of the activities or personal insecurities that causes the real hang-up? I digress but I would imagine if you escort and then start dating but fucking with a guy that hasn't at least been through a prior divorce or major drama filled break-up then you're setting yourself up for failure.

It's a tough call but in the end I think I'd rather know upfront.

[Sistine Chapel]

Originally Posted by jojodancer15

I believe honesty upfront in the relationship is the best policy. Some people can handle it, some people can't. At least you'd know were you stand with the other person. The only issue is, when to disclose the information?? You can't do it on the first date or can you??
If you don't share the info on the first date how far down the line do you wait before coming clean. AND is it too late by this time??? WTF - this shit is confusing...
I don't personally see how anyone can point the finger when 3 are coming back at you!! Date who you want and long live LOVE!!!

Never on the first date. They should give themselves time to feel the person out. Maybe after about the 3rd or 4th date that's still early enough to where the person won't run off to the TV Producers of the show called My Crazy Ex. lol

[Sistine Chapel]

Originally Posted by Gabriella Vega

Personally, I would tell and deal with the outcome. I'd rather he hear it from me early on than from someone else later down the road. This is a small world. You never know who knows whom. If he rejects me... I'll be hurt for a while. But that is better than living with a secret and being worried about him finding out. As for if he'll use it against me when upset with me (call me names, etc.). If it wasn't this, he would still find something else to throw back in my face. That is his character flaw that will manifest itself eventually anyway. So that is not a concern when making the decision to tell.

Very good approach.

[rmrstyle23]

I have dated a couple of providers one told me she had done it previously the other I knew full well before the fact as that is how I met her. As i said previously anything can work as long as there is honesty but i have found the biggest problem is they cant leave the fast money alone and since the only women to ever have access to my money like that was my ex wife needless to say those relationships didn't work out

[Sistine Chapel]

Originally Posted by rmrstyle23

I have dated a couple of providers one told me she had done it previously the other I knew full well before the fact as that is how I met her. As i said previously anything can work as long as there is honesty but i have found the biggest problem is they cant leave the fast money alone and since the only women to ever have access to my money like that was my ex wife needless to say those relationships didn't work out

Yeah you gotta have cheddar or else going back into the business is a real option for them. Unless of course you put them through college and they get a successful career started... but then again unless they're just nymphos and gotta have it. lol

[Victoria of Houston]

Originally Posted by BIGSEXY7852

After you have become deeply involved or even married and an asshole of an ex-client meets you in public and poses the question about services, how could you explain? That would devastate all parties. I as a guy could never get over or forgive the deception. A real man with true feelings could get over that if told up front. This potential problem could follow you forever. Everyone you meet could be a disaster. Just my thoughts.

At this point in my life, I am single, and plan on staying so for some time to come. Partly because of the hobby, and partly because I spent pretty much all of my 20s in a relationship.

That aside, there have been civvy gents I confided in, in the past about this part of my life, and the results have never been good.

Furthermore, the situation you describe is completely hypothetical. In 8+ years of providing off and on, I've ran into a client out in the "real world" maybe 2 or 3 times max.

Be that as it may, I understand what you, and anyone else is saying in terms of if you didn't tell and they found out somehow, etc.

For myself, I don't see myself getting into a relationship any time soon....however, perhaps if I happen to meet the "right man" at some point, he will be the kind of person I could tell and it would be ok.

I'm not too worried about it though, seeing as how that is not my desire at this stage in life.

Originally Posted by Sistine Chapel

So once it's told do you think it's the number of partners, 'depravity' of the activities or personal insecurities that causes the real hang-up? I digress but I would imagine if you escort and then start dating but fucking with a guy that hasn't at least been through a prior divorce or major drama filled break-up then you're setting yourself up for failure.

It's a tough call but in the end I think I'd rather know upfront.

The main feedback I've gotten is the stereotypical issues of, "that's dirty". It seems to be the general societal consensus that society has on hobbying in general. And also, yes, they seemed to have an issue with just how many people I may have been with, etc.

Perhaps. As said, for me right now, I am not looking to get into any kind of relationship, so the issue is a moot one for me. Perhaps if that changes in the future, my opinion/mindset might change.

[Sistine Chapel]

Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

The main feedback I've gotten is the stereotypical issues of, "that's dirty". It seems to be the general societal consensus that society has on hobbying in general. And also, yes, they seemed to have an issue with just how many people I may have been with, etc.

Perhaps. As said, for me right now, I am not looking to get into any kind of relationship, so the issue is a moot one for me. Perhaps if that changes in the future, my opinion/mindset might change.

With your sexy ass you shouldn't have a problem finding someone to accept you when you're ready. :-) All relationships whether single or married are temporary anyway

[Victoria of Houston]

Originally Posted by Sistine Chapel

With your sexy ass you shouldn't have a problem finding someone to accept you when you're ready. :-) All relationships whether single or married are temporary anyway

Hah, thanks. But I am happy as I am. Not looking for a man, as of now....for a relationship anyways, lols. Just need some bodies on my table to rub.

[rmrstyle23]

Yes its kinda hard to get Gucci working a regular job and paying bills plus most of the time sadly these ladies aren't true hustlers they just looking for a good time money and not a build a empire money. And the stories these broads came up with it was like yes you got some good puss but do you have to be so troubled...

Originally Posted by Sistine Chapel

Yeah you gotta have cheddar or else going back into the business is a real option for them. Unless of course you put them through college and they get a successful career started... but then again unless they're just nymphos and gotta have it. lol

[GlobeSpotter]

Originally Posted by Rosaline Isabel

I've told my ex-boyfriend.....

You're only 18 and have an ex-boyfriend you'd refer to as ex-boyfriend and you'd even give a shit about what he thincks?

ps: do not reply with what age you started dating him.

[Gabriella Vega]

That is a very broad generalization that doesn't apply to all providers. Certainly not to me. Several of us who are more "mature" like myself are educated, and have had or continue to have real world careers. Job stability is not like it used to be in the real world. I am over sharing a bit, but this is not "good time money" for me. I am not destitute (and I am grateful for that because it allows me to be selective and low volume) but times have been better financially for me. I no longer receive stock options, bonuses and matching retirement funds and who knows how long social security will still be around. So some of us are definitely thinking and planning ahead.

Originally Posted by rmrstyle23

Yes its kinda hard to get Gucci working a regular job and paying bills plus most of the time sadly these ladies aren't true hustlers they just looking for a good time money and not a build a empire money. And the stories these broads came up with it was like yes you got some good puss but do you have to be so troubled...

[Wakeup]

For some dumbass reason, people think they can get into a relationship and change things...when they should be getting into a relationship where nothing HAS to change...no matter what MAY change...

I laugh at all the people who refuse to accept that reality...

[Guest020719]

Op... What's love got to do with it? Do with it?

Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

You're only 18 and have an ex-boyfriend you'd refer to as ex-boyfriend and you'd even give a shit about what he thincks?

ps: do not reply with what age you started dating him.

I hear ya man... younguns these days, so promiscuous.... I seen an advertisement in the Sears, Roebuck & Co. catalogue of women's swimsuits with the ANKLE showing!! CAN YOU BELIEVE?!!!

[rmrstyle23]

I made NO generalizations at all as its implied that I am speaking in reference to the providers I have dated or to those with the aforementioned mindset

Originally Posted by Gabriella Vega

That is a very broad generalization that doesn't apply to all providers. Certainly not to me. Several of us who are more "mature" like myself are educated, and have had or continue to have real world careers. Job stability is not like it used to be in the real world. I am over sharing a bit, but this is not "good time money" for me. I am not destitute (and I am grateful for that because it allows me to be selective and low volume) but times have been better financially for me. I no longer receive stock options, bonuses and matching retirement funds and who knows how long social security will still be around. So some of us are definitely thinking and planning ahead.