Problem With Sugar Baby

[hoblin]

Teach me your ways hbech!

[Mt75]

Originally Posted by Seeking ~P

Ain't nothing better than old pussy but some NEW pussy!

Have fun

Haha well I don't know. Having had the pleasure of sampling a wide range of ages, a lot can be said about the woman it's attached too

I like the SB route because it has more of a relationship aspect when you find the right one without the drama. I had one who we took trips, had quickies, lunches, and more. I remember how it took me a little over a month of 1-2x's a week to help her be able to handle 3-4 O's in a row per 1-2 hour sessions. She would go to bed complaining her pussy hurt, wake up the next morning ready to go again and an hour or two later need another 8 hours or so break. Finally got her where we could go 3-4x a day on a trip with no issues

We had fun and for her the experience was more than the money and she liked how I pulled out chairs, opened doors, listened to her, took an interest in her school / job and more. That and I made the sexual side more than me blowing my load in 4 minutes and being done. She loved the kissing on the neck and back and other aspects.

I've had girls who just wanted to fuck, girls who needed a little help, girls who had no clue what they wanted, UTR girls, and many i've wished good luck and never went past a coffee or lunch date.

I prefer a woman who can hold a conversation, keep the drama low, and enjoys having fun and doesn't see me as just a quick buck. Once you find that its gold.

I still have a few girls I've known over the years who text/email me and occasionally hook up for an afternoon of fun. None of them ask for money, I usually give a gift card, and 2 hours later they walk away smiling and looking like they just got off a long horse ride.

Just remember they are people, have feelings, and treat them right and you can get lucky and find the right one.

[hbech]

Hoblin, listen to Mt75, the guy has been doing it longer than I have and he clearly knows what he's talking about. Everything he has said is solid.

That being said, I can offer some advice and invite Mt75 and others to contribute.

1. Be prepared to spend money before you even find the right SB. Lots of websites out there that cater to this sort of thing, none of them are free. Just google them and you'll see. Trust me, you'll find one that fits, there are a lot of SBs out there looking. The big problem is a lot of those sites are positively littered with spambots and scammers. You'll also find a lot of providers and even more cam girls wanting your business. YMMV, but I've found sugardaddyforme a complete waste of time, nothing but scams and your inbox will fill up in a week with spam. Erosdating is hit and miss for me, but blatant spambots, like cut and paste PMs from dozens of women. I've had some luck on that site, nothing solid yet, but there are prospects.

2. Once you've found the right site, follow your head and not your cock. If you can do that, some common sense things will hit you. How many 22yos in need of an SD can afford professional photography? Scam. How many smoking hot 10s that could easily be a lingerie model need an SD? So hot that they turn heads and could literally walk into a club and get a dozen phone numbers? Not saying its impossible, but proceed with caution, probably a scam. If not a scam, you need serious, serious money so probably don't waste your time.

3. What should you look for? I've found a lot of single moms looking for SDs. Might sound like a bad idea at first but when you think about, they really need a lot of help providing for their kids. Sounds kinda creepy and predatory, but it's true. College students, especially grad students, are also a thing to look for. They need help financially and with school and probably a part time job, they don't have time for traditional dating.

4. If you find a candidate that doesn't have a car and needs you to drive her around, walk away. Far too much of a headache.

5. The idea of having a young SB, like between 18 and 21 sounds like perfect fantasy fulfillment, but it requires a lot of patience and work given their probable immaturity. If you can make it work, great, more power to you. There are intelligent, mature young girls out there, so by all means look.


To be continued....

[hbech]

6. Let's talk security and privacy. Before you venture into the SB/SD world and start looking, your privacy is probably the most important factor in my opinion. Single and don't care? You should! If you've had any experience in the dating world, you know it can get ugly. It can get uglier with Sugar Babies. Let's conduct an exercise to prove my point. Go to your Facebook page and check a few things. On the far right of the menu bar, there is a little padlock in front of three lines. Click it and then click on "Who can see my stuff?" Then under "What do other people see on my timeline?" click "View As." What you see next is what anyone with an internet connection can see about you. Now start clicking on the various areas of your FB profile - Photos, About, Timeline, etc. How much info can a pissed off Sugar Baby find out? It is utterly mind-boggling to me how people either don't know or don't care what the entire world can see. How do you think I found out why my previous SB left me? I didn't hire a private detective, I just looked at her FB page. If I was an irrational fool, I could show up at her daughter's softball game tomorrow and confront her, she listed all the details - location, time, and the name of the team. It was ridiculous. I cut her loose so no way in hell I would do that but it proves my point. She probably assumes that since we are not friends on FB, that I can't see her page. Nope, I have just as much access on her FB page as any of her FB friends.

I was mildly curious about her new boyfriend so I simply googled his name along with Beaumont, TX and took about two minutes to discover his wife divorced him because of porn addiction. He posted on some forum for fellow porn addicts and he signed the post with his full name. His full name! Doubting it was for sure the same guy? Just trust me, I'm not going to go into great detail and ramble on about how I figured it out, but an overwhelming amount of clues where there along with his full name. Again, if I was an irrational fool, which I'm not, I could literally knock on this guy's front door after a minimal amount of digging. If I could do it, a pissed off SB could do it to you.

I was chatting with a potential SB today and the fact that my profile had just enough but not too much intrigued her and she reached out. She told me that she can smell BS a mile away. I asked what she meant and she stated that guys will make themselves out to be big shots, like they are a Senior Manager that practically runs their company. She takes one look at their LinkedIn profile and the guy is just a little helper at the bottom of the totem pole.

Am I scaring the shit out of you? Don't let any of this scare you away from looking for an SB, the overwhelming majority of SBs know how the system works and have no desire to screw things up for themselves. Just be smart and use some caution.

7. Lie your fucking ass off. I'm serious. That is the next factor of privacy and security. Maybe not so much lying as non-dislcosure. Just like #6 above, you don't want to just hand out information that will bring an SB to your front door or to your job. Do you work as a branch manager at Bank of America? For the love of Raptor Jesus don't tell an SB "I'm the Branch Manager at the Bank of America over on College Street," and be surprised when she shows up at the same time your wife/girlfriend stops in on your lunch break. Your given profession is one of the most common subjects when you're getting to know someone. "I work in Finance," is what you say. She wants more details, you change the subject, "My job is boring, let's talk about you." One high school in your town? You tell her your kids are in high school, think she couldn't figure out how to find you if she really tried? (Especially if she can see pics of them on FB.) A sugar baby doesn't necessarily have to be pissed to ruin your life, she could be in love with you and have some delusion that you feel the same way, she could also just be neglected and miss you.

[hbech]

Guess who wants to meet today? My last SB!

This should be interesting, can't wait to hear her story.

[hbech]

Got a PM asking for an update on my soap opera. And here I was thinking nobody was interested.

She shows up and I can tell she's hoping I was cool with everything and I would just let it blow over. I'm not one for anger and screaming but of course I wasn't letting it go. I pride myself on being calm and rational, I hate getting emotional, it clouds everything and gets in the way.

"Didn't think I'd ever see you again. Thought maybe you'd found a job and moved to another state or something. Then I was worried something bad happened to you. What happened?"

She was nervous that I broached the subject. She apologized and was all sweet to me. All she would offer was "I had some really bad medical stuff going on (she did, this was something I knew to be fact) and I was in a really bad place, I just didn't want to deal with anything or talk to anyone."

I can buy that. Bad shits happens and we can be swallowed by our own darkness. But what I couldn't buy was the inability of picking up a phone and spending all of a few seconds typing out just one text "I'm going thru some shit right now and I need a few weeks." Like I mentioned before (did I?), I had surgery earlier this year and my recovery was six weeks. I simply made her aware of what was going on and she was totally cool and gave me my space. No reason I wouldn't return that same courtesy to her.

I expressed all of this to her and again she kept apologizing and being sweet.

I'm still thinking of what to do.

Thoughts?

[EastTexasGrown]

Thanks for the update hbech! I do not have the time or balls to pursue this SD/SB life. So I am enjoying it from afar through the stories I keep reading on here. I am not going to give you my thoughts due to my lack of experience. Instead, I will step aside and eagerly await the thoughts of your fellow SDs. Thanks again for the update.

[Mt75]

Originally Posted by hbech

Got a PM asking for an update on my soap opera. And here I was thinking nobody was interested.

She shows up and I can tell she's hoping I was cool with everything and I would just let it blow over. I'm not one for anger and screaming but of course I wasn't letting it go. I pride myself on being calm and rational, I hate getting emotional, it clouds everything and gets in the way.

"Didn't think I'd ever see you again. Thought maybe you'd found a job and moved to another state or something. Then I was worried something bad happened to you. What happened?"

She was nervous that I broached the subject. She apologized and was all sweet to me. All she would offer was "I had some really bad medical stuff going on (she did, this was something I knew to be fact) and I was in a really bad place, I just didn't want to deal with anything or talk to anyone."

I can buy that. Bad shits happens and we can be swallowed by our own darkness. But what I couldn't buy was the inability of picking up a phone and spending all of a few seconds typing out just one text "I'm going thru some shit right now and I need a few weeks." Like I mentioned before (did I?), I had surgery earlier this year and my recovery was six weeks. I simply made her aware of what was going on and she was totally cool and gave me my space. No reason I wouldn't return that same courtesy to her.

I expressed all of this to her and again she kept apologizing and being sweet.

I'm still thinking of what to do.

Thoughts?

Well if you enjoy being with her and can handle the drama that is your call.

Honestly I'm betting it will come up again at some point down the road. Seen stuff like that way to many times over the years. Yes stuff does happens, some of it is legit, but if you have noticed a pattern, and that pattern is repeating, well then it most likely will happen again.

Depending on the girl and how long we have been together determines the amount of drama I will deal with. I am not looking for a lot of drama because I can get that almost anywhere else.

[BigBodyBeautiful50]

It onestly looks like you already decided bud.

Just looking for someone to give you the thumbs up so to speak.

I beleive we all deserve the opportunity to make things right, but you also have to protect yourself just in case whomever is playing the same game.

Its obvious you like the girl, enjoyed her company and the fun, so sasddle up, but just make sure all the straps are tight and the everything has been well cleaned and oiled. lol

Good luck and keep us updated

[bistraight69]

Be happy for the time you spent with your SB, a good learning experience.

[hbech]

Appreciate the feedback.

This is honestly the first bump we have had in two years. Everything was running along smoothly until this happened.

And I did some more digging (again, shockingly easy to do) and my assumptions about the new boyfriend were a little misconstrued. You might be thinking this is based on what she told me, it was not, I found out via different means.

I did lay out some rock solid ground rules. If we agree to meet and she stands me up without bothering to contact me, that's it for me, I'm done. Don't bother contacting me days or weeks after the stand-up thinking you can make things right because you can't. Like I said, this was the first time she had ever pulled anything close to drama.

Time will tell. She has her second chance and she knows she is on thin ice and can be replaced. I showed her the pics of the new SB candidates and told her about a lunch I had with one last week. We of course laughed and joked while I did it but the point was made and we both knew it.

Shall I continue imparting my knowledge with #7 on the list?

[BigBodyBeautiful50]

Impart away Dali lama Sugar Daddy. lol

[hbech]

Okay, we've covered the basics. Now we're on an actual SB/SD site.

8. Don't be a perv. Seriously, just don't. It's gross. Don't make one of your private photos a dick pic. You might be proud of what you think is your massive cock, but women are not going to share that pride with you until much, much later down the road.

9. Your profile should say just enough, but not too much. Mystery will draw potential SBs to find out more about you. How do you create mystery? That's up to you, be creative.

10. If you want to fill your profile with bullshit, make sure it can't be fact checked. I covered this briefly in #6. When women chat with you, you'll both probably lean heavily on your profiles for subject matter. Want to say you're on a SWAT team? Make damn sure you can hold a conversation that doesn't make you look like an idiot. I wouldn't encourage outright lies that you know practically nothing about. Maybe your uncle was on a SWAT team and you spent your childhood listening to his kickass stories. Run with stuff like that.

11. Never start out conversations with "Hey sexy!" or "Hi there, baby." You might not run into huge issues doing that, but starting out conversations with demeaning platitudes is not a good idea in my opinion. Give it time and be patient, after some cautious flirting, calling each other cute names will come naturally.

12. Never, and I mean that empathically, never discuss your idea of an arrangement until she makes the inquiry. She is the one that needs to be comfortable with you. She needs to not feel like a provider because that is what she fears most. She wants to be treated like a person and not an object. She wants to feel safe. Make her feel safe. It might take a week of occasional chatting before she even broaches the subject. Give her that time.

13. Don't be a perv. But, wait, you already said that! I know I did. It bears repeating. Don't. Be. A. Perv. "Send me pics of your pussy." Perv! "Let's get together so I can audition your dick sucking skills." Perv! "Ever stuck one of your toes up a dude's ass?" Perv! Let her be the one to start the dirty talk. And when she does, ease into it.

14. Don't be a stalker. If the chatting stops, its okay to reach out a couple of times. "Late night? We can talk later." "Haven't heard from you in a bit, I like chatting with you." After two tries separated by at least 24 hours, move on. Anything more, she will be afraid of you and block your stalker ass.

15. Beware of spam bots. They can be a little tricky and fool the best of us. They work in two stages, fishing and catching. Fishing is pretty easy to spot. The spam bot will respond to your initial inquiry with an email address and something like "I know it can be expensive chatting here, so let's email." Immediately reply with something like "That's okay, we can chat here." Then ask something specific "You mention Notre Dame on your profile, ever been to a game?" If your question is not answered but instead a slight variation of the first response encouraging you to move over to email, you've got yourself a spam bot! Catching is when you've been fooled by the spam bot and moved over to email. You'll get an oddly specific email (pre-scripted of course) and if you respond, it is flagged and a human being steps in to continue the scam. At some point money will be required to visit a website, watch a cam show, you get the idea. How do I know? I was fooled by a spam bot and didn't catch on until some crazy horseshit about "Open an account on this website and we can talk more." Yeah, no, sorry. Nice try.

To be continued.....

[Esttexguy]

Where and how do you find a SB???

[n0way0ut]

If you have full access here (you review, or pay for membership), there's a sugar daddy/sugar baby forum. FULL of great info, tips, experiences from guys who's been playing that game a long time. I dabbled in it almost a year ago, for just a few months. I had excellent luck on "seeking arrangment" (one of a bunch of websites for this - most of the others I believe to be bullshit). Even on the websites, you have to have some verbal skills and know how to play it, or they'll play you. I'm no expert, by any means - but I did have some GREAT experiences - and I'm not rich. You can find women in any range you like. Of course if you have unlimited funds, it's easier, but I don't, and again, I had a very good time.