To lie … or not to lie … that is the question …

[Terminator69]

Not lie is the answer to your question, good luck in your search, I am sure you will have no problems finding a good guy, and I need to make time to go see you before you decide to retire.

[dearhunter]

Originally Posted by hartboyz20

I ALWAYS KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE BETTER AT EVERYTHING, EXCEPT KILLING DEER!!!!!!

Hell no, he didn't just say that............did he?

[boardman]

Originally Posted by dearhunter

Hell no, he didn't just say that............did he?

It's on!!!!!!!!!

[Ramman]

Brook this question is a great one. I think you have to ask yourself if you could handle you boyfriend being with other ladies and dating you at the same time. I think if you found someone in the lifestyle you have a good chance of making it work. BUt, I agree with most here that if you start with a lie it will not work.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by ibechill

Better to retire, then date. I would think most guys would be highly turned off knowing you were a provider.

So true. It is a difficult issue to have on the table while trying to build a relationship, and I feel like lying about it would be unacceptable. He would be an extraordinary individual to be able to accept you and what you do without any negativity. Me thinks its best to either just enjoy the men in the hobby, or retire and then pursue a lasting relationship. You'll be saving yourself a lot of grief.

[CivilBarrister]

I agree, you probably have to retire first.

Many guys SAY they can handle dating a provider - very few really can deal with it after a while.

[nktatc]

The lying part will just not work nor non-disclosure either being upfront is the most your career will either be accepted or not.
If it is accepted the relationship will need special attention and probably some ground rules.

Can you find someone? I would think yes but kid gloves are needed.

[LeftySmith]

You could always try dating a male provider...

Or maybe a porn star?

[ThatManFromTexas]

Dang... giving you advice was easier when all we had to discuss was ... how bad you really wanted a subway ...

1. Before telling him anything...find out a little about him... "Wow, so how long have you been in Vice....?"

2. Exactly what constitutes "Dating". My son tells me people his age don't really "date" until after they have "hooked up" with someone a few times and decide they really like them. Do you "hookup" ... or do you charge him? If you don't charge people you date, what happens if hobbiest (a lot are single) asks you out?

3. So now he's your BF, covered or no? Uncovered and telling him later you are in the business but you are "careful" may not sit well with him (actually, you may want to get legal advice regarding that one).

4. Where do you find people to date that are what you are looking for but (1) Do not read BackPage or (2) Do not cruise the internet?

5. If you date someone and he knows what you do, along with all the other insecurities that go with dating, don't you have to wonder if he's doing it for the free ride.

Just go find some wrinkled old guy with major bucks, marry him, give him the best sex of his life literally... take your new inheritance , retire and date till your hearts content.

[Sisyphus]

Well....not much to add to what's already been said except to put an exclamation mark on a couple of things:

1. If you dating in furtherance of a serious relationship... don't lie. Not fair to you or to him.

2. You don't have to tell each other EVERYTHING up front. You've got some time to figure out if the person you just started dating is ultimately someone who is worthy of bearing your soul to.

The trick is what do you do in the meantime. My suggestion would be to say as little about work as possible. Focus on other aspects of getting to know each other & compatibility. Don't jump off a bridge until you have to do so.

Bon chance!!!

[BananaRepublican]

Unfortunately, no matter how open and honest we are within our little community, it's still a double standard out there. Even though guys will bar hop, maybe even hobby, they want their civilian girls to be as close to virgins as possible. Most men are insanely jealous. Most first dates are mainly meet and greet, have dinner and a drink. Lot's of conversation. By the second, or surely the 3rd date, you should have a feeling if there is chemistry there. At this point, I would suggest would be the time to bring the subject up. "By the way, let me tell you a little something else about me." If he's going to run away, you want to know sooner rather than later so as not to waste time on going further. If he doesn't accept you at this point, he's not going to be more accepting later, only be bringing up pictures and numbers in his mind. And, you surely don't want him finding out on his own. Or find out you lied to him. You'll have to use your own best judgment on when and how to tell him, but I recommend honesty. I've had this experience in my own life, talking about my past, and have gained good friends because I was open and honest with them. Like everything else in life, the fewer lies you tell, the easier it is to remember your stories.
Billy
The Wildflower Group

[CaptainQ]

I say lie! Then deny!

(ok, not really, that never works)

You got a lot of good advice here, I don't think I could add anything worthwhile except a little humor. But can't top that man from from Texas, he must be a professional comedian or something.

[CivilBarrister]

Originally Posted by ThatManFromTexas

Dang... giving you advice was easier when all we had to discuss was ... how bad you really wanted a subway ...

Just go find some wrinkled old guy with major bucks, marry him, give him the best sex of his life literally... take your new inheritance, retire and date till your hearts content.

And if he is REALLY old and fat and out of shape, you could probably inherit before the honeymoon is over.....

[dearhunter]

Just don't be telling the Fucking prophet that you can be killing bambi better.............them's fighting words...........I'm just saying.

But, on a lighter note...........he (new boyfriend....not bambi) is going to know something is up the first time you give him a bj (that is better than anything he has ever had).

bambi would be so happy getting his first bj, he wouldn't give a shit...................hmmmmm. ......maybe the boyfriend, too..........never mind.

[Brooke Wilde]

Damn you guys (and gals) are smart. I just got out of class and would of never guessed all the awesome posts that I would come home to find.

I now have a 6pm apt I need to get ready for, but I will chime back in later.

Thanks to everyone for your advise :-)