I'm assuming he's an enlisted puke. If he were an officer, the command would pay much closer attention to her needs and complaints. Also, going to the CO/CO's staff is often not the best approach as there are conflicting interests involved. Many times, the military will protect military within the unit.
Most bases have family support centers that assist family members who are deployed. Usually, they will be able to point her in the right direction since the support center is usually immune from the command influence of her husbands actual unit. Also, talking to the chaplains is a good idea.
The problem with the military is this. About 25-30 years ago in the 80s, Congress stuck their noses into the way domestic disputes were handled in the military, There were a lot of sob stories from women about how military men just dumped women and left them destitute. Congress passed a lot of laws that then became very unfair to the military member. I can see why this guy would be willing to take her down with him. Basically as laws are now, the military member takes a huge hit in any divorce, so there is a lot of bitterness. Now, there is a movement to swing things back into a more fair situation, but the pendulum is just now starting to swing back. However, given the current president and Demo-rats in the Senate, there probably won't be any movement for several years. Simply put, this guy is taking the scorched earth policy, and he doesn't care if he gets burned in the process. When someone goes down this route, he's going to "win", and there is not much she can do other than face the poor credit score. As crappy as it may sound, she may want to per-emptively file for bankruptcy. At least that would start the clock on when she could recover her credit rating.
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