Enough is enough.

[LayneLaughlin]

I'm of the opinion that blacklisting is reserved for extreme circumstances. When this unsafe practice was tried on me, I told them all no. They didn't freak out on me about it, nor was I raped. The situation did not escalate or become violent, I never felt I was in grave danger. A cover was used and the rest of the appointment went fine. No, I won't see them again, but is it fair to blacklist someone for this? They could've tried it with me but maybe they wouldn't dare with the next provider they see. I'm quite sure that I'm not the only provider this has happened to. Do they all run to the blacklist every time it happens? No. This isn't a freak occurrence. Its been happening more than usual lately to me personally. Instead of pointing fingers and blowing it up, I am simply bringing it to the attention of the gentlemen on the board. Because believe it or not, some of your cohorts are trying this on a regular basis. I wouldn't expect any of them to speak up on here about it though.

[windowsidiot]

Sorry I jumped on you MP2. I did not mean it personally but I believe the posting was necessary. I travel through Kansas and there is a very young provider who is deteriorating and covered with bruises. Many concerned posters who want to help but she refuses. I have never seen her but I was in female defense mode.
Layne, Thank you for writing. It took some courage and may have some readers thinking about their actions. If not then taser or the 2 brick approach.

[Guest090116-1]

Yo, windowsidiot, no offense taken, really. I might not always make a clear posting and such can add to anyone's confusion, including my own.

As to whether this kind of behavior needs to be blacklisted or not.........I'd say yes.
If this is a pattern with someone then the ladies need to make it known to others.

And that goes on both ends. I won't see a provider that is known for that just as a provider
should not see a client that is known for that.

Okay, nap time.........

[Ms.Lady Y]

The blacklist is not for extreme cases only. If you look at it there are ncns, setting up appts and canceling last minute. It is there for us to report anything that may effect another lady and to let others know so they can make their own choice on whether they want to see the guy.
The blacklist is part of my screening and I no I would want to know if a guy is trying to do bbf's so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Just my 2cents

[LNK]

Originally Posted by Ms.Lady Y

The blacklist is not for extreme cases only. If you look at it there are ncns, setting up appts and canceling last minute. It is there for us to report anything that may effect another lady and to let others know so they can make their own choice on whether they want to see the guy.
The blacklist is part of my screening and I no I would want to know if a guy is trying to do bbf's so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Just my 2cents

This was going to be my question, that is, are there not black lists, as well as shades of grey lists?

I would think this is information that definitely should be shared amongst the ladies.

[CS123]

Originally Posted by LayneLaughlin

When someone is in control/above you and tries this forcefully, that is the scariest thing a woman can experience in my opinion.

Originally Posted by LayneLaughlin

When this unsafe practice was tried on me, I told them all no. They didn't freak out on me about it, nor was I raped. The situation did not escalate or become violent, I never felt I was in grave danger. A cover was used and the rest of the appointment went fine.

I certainly drew a different conclusion from the first post than was further explained in this later post. I read "in control/above you", "forcefully" and "scariest thing a woman can experience" more along the lines of someone that felt they were in danger.

Not sure how their behavior changes unless they are blacklisted and the next provider can determine if she wants to take the chance they have learned their lesson. However it isn't my call to make just my $.02 worth.

[JonGator]

Originally Posted by LayneLaughlin

I'm of the opinion that blacklisting is reserved for extreme circumstances. When this unsafe practice was tried on me, I told them all no. They didn't freak out on me about it, nor was I raped. The situation did not escalate or become violent, I never felt I was in grave danger. A cover was used and the rest of the appointment went fine. No, I won't see them again, but is it fair to blacklist someone for this? They could've tried it with me but maybe they wouldn't dare with the next provider they see. I'm quite sure that I'm not the only provider this has happened to. Do they all run to the blacklist every time it happens? No. This isn't a freak occurrence. Its been happening more than usual lately to me personally. Instead of pointing fingers and blowing it up, I am simply bringing it to the attention of the gentlemen on the board. Because believe it or not, some of your cohorts are trying this on a regular basis. I wouldn't expect any of them to speak up on here about it though.

I think it is awesome how the gents on this board are being supportive in this thread. I would imagine that Layne, as well as the other girls on this board, are wise enough to share appropriate information with one another and handle each individual situation to the degree that is warranted. I also think it was classy and tactful how Layne addressed her views concerning the issue and her follow up postings . I hope this thread will help deter certain "gentlemen" from pursuing these activity further.

Safe hobbying everyone!!!!

[Phunster]

This is horrible, Layne. The way you ladies screen, I would hope that it would be a quick 411 out to the hobby if someone acted this way. Blacklist the bastards.

[John Bull]

There is nothing harmful or unethical about asking for bbfs. Anyone can ask! It's up to the lady to determine if that is the way she wants to go.
The harm would come if she was forced and that is rape anyway.
Of course, if you girls want to make a federal case out of it, that's your business.

[Guest022718]

Originally Posted by John Bull

There is nothing harmful or unethical about asking for bbfs. Anyone can ask! It's up to the lady to determine if that is the way she wants to go.
The harm would come if she was forced and that is rape anyway.
Of course, if you girls want to make a federal case out of it, that's your business.

You are, of course, correct. We have complete freedom to do and say as we wish, understanding that there are consequences to EVERYTHING we do.

If I am waiting to board the plane at Eppley, and the pilot walks by and asks me If I have any weed, whites, or wine on me, I'm not gonna yell at him or call him bad names. But I'm NOT gonna be willing to go anywhere with him, either. I will quietly leave, probably informing many of my fellow passengers as I go by.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Excuse me but since I am a professional pilot I demand you do more than that. Report him to the nearest authority. Lives will be saved once you do.

[mbinlincoln]

Originally Posted by CS123

I certainly drew a different conclusion from the first post than was further explained in this later post. I read "in control/above you", "forcefully" and "scariest thing a woman can experience" more along the lines of someone that felt they were in danger.

Not sure how their behavior changes unless they are blacklisted and the next provider can determine if she wants to take the chance they have learned their lesson. However it isn't my call to make just my $.02 worth.

+1. I read this exactly the same way you did, hence my question. Shades of grey indeed. Much more than 50.

[cowboy_john]

I believe some of you missed the forest for all the trees. For those of us who know her, we appreciate Layne is a very classy woman, whose greatest fault is her politeness and courtesy to everyone.

My message is to her with an express intent everyone else read it.

The cavalier attitude (voiced by some of our less bright participants) men can simply request BBFS and be turned down, being no crime no foul, misses the target by several decades of a mile. Unless you are in a monogamous relationship with someone who has a series of good test results (including all the hep strains), do not ever even discuss (much less tolerate someone bringing-up) such absolute nonsense.

I am old enough to remember when we had only several hepatitis strains, immune deficiency diseases were not identified, and they used a roto-rotor device to cure a STD in men (not that I had one). So BBFS is taboo in my world, as are people who practice it.

Those who count understand what you are saying Layne. Hang in there. You absolutely did the right thing discussing it here, and handling the situations as you did.

[Redwolf]

Share their names with other girls contacting you for references or post them on the ladies only forum.

If providers who had seen these guys before you would have let you know what these guys were up to, you could have declined to see them or seen them but made it very clear up front that you don't ever consider BBFS.

Consider contacting back the girls whom they used for references and letting them know what happened. They might stop give references for these guys, or not.

I can only think that seeking BBFS in P4P is being careless or having a death wish.

[sexuser]

No class and total disrepect for anyone who intentionally would choose not to honor a provider's request to any hobbyist to refrain from certain actions or behaviors. And to consistently continue to try and do so after politely being asked not to, is simply inexcusable. This type of person not only has total disregard for others safety and personal privacy, but they also lack any shred of human decency and self respect. Totally BAD TASTE!!

Although I have never met her, my hat goes off to Layne for bringing this issue to the attention to the board. As a healthcare professional, personal safety is key for the caregiver as well as the person being cared for. And that applies in any context.

Thank You