Respect a simple yet lost concept

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by Ansley

"There are few rules, it's wise to sit back and read for a while before you begin posting. Yes, we engage in that lost practice of using manners. We are polite and we try to seduce, not argue. We expect you to walk that thin line between being polite and not being boring."

Well said by the gentleman. Hear, hear!

[Ansley]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

Well said, hear, hear!

Fancy I liked the text also. Just to make it clear though, another person wrote those words.

[Ansley]

Ooops, we were typing at the same time.

[Fancyinheels]

LOL. Yes, I corrected myself. Kudos to him for saying it, and to you for taking it to heart by remembering it.

[Bebe Le Strange]

As most of us know, with the internet and chat boards/forums comes anonymity. With that anonymity things like respect, manners, and common sense generally go out the window. People feel brave on the internet to bully, and be rude because there is little if nothing that anyone can do except simply ignore.

I personally will give respect automatically, (I also give most people the benefit of the doubt) up until something is said or done to lose that respect. I think what Nina says with regard to the written word is true. You cannot hear a person's voice or the tone of it when they have written something, nor see body posture or facial expression. So much of what we take in when talking to someone face to face is more visual and sound than anything else. If someone says something in person, then writes the same thing they said in a chat forum, most likely some people will interpret it completely different in written format than they would if they were in front of the person listening to them making the same statement/questions.

I think some people have poor writing skills, poor grammar, English etc; and they have the most difficult times with communicating effectively on a internet chat board.

[Iaintliein]

Originally Posted by Bebe Le Strange

I think some people have poor writing skills, poor grammar, English etc; and they have the most difficult times with communicating effectively on a internet chat board.

And they should be (but often aren't) treated with graciousness by other posters. Respect the person, criticize the idea, ask for clarification if needed.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by I B Hankering

I must respectfully disagree. I think everyone is entitled to respect and consideration until they have demonstrated they are not entitled to such. Why is it, in our American society, that most everyone wants to be the impudent and disrespectful Vinnie Barbarino, the Fonz or Eddie Haskell when the real role models are the respectful and considerate Richie Cunningham and the Beaver?

Well how would you demonstrate a person is not entitled to respect if you don`t even know he does treat you with disrespect? Its not that simple. Its a character thing too. Some people are manipulative ,. arrogant, have a inflated sense of self and thing they are superiour to everyone. I have encountered plenty of them . I think best is these kind of people stick together and blow smoke up their butts and the other kinds of people stick with their crowd. Its how social systems work. Escorts stick to escorts. Wives stick to wives, and escort wives have both systems (and never the twain shall meet)

If being rude was that simple explained by just using nice words in arguments then why would many escorts have a hidden identity when they are escorts? Its exactly because they want to escape being treated rude by society. So intolerance and rude ness comes with the territorry of belonging in a social context as opposed to belong to a different social context. The contexts fight against each other. That is how wars happen. That is how people get power over others.

People are judgemental. I am. You are. We all are. The board here is full of judgements. We all do that all the time. So to say "oh if you make your judgements in nice words" its a better thing, i have to disagree. I think we all (me including) could profit from being more openminded and look at other peoples opinions and learn from them. This all too polite "we shall agree to disagree" is nice, but not leading somewhere. I want to know why we disagree, because i want to learn something. Thats how i do it. That is how i learn. Not because i studied in a fucking university . Ok that helps too in making referenced statements as opposed to general crap. But i think people have to discuss things to the extent of word splitting so they can actually see where others come from , why they act how they act. And such.

Simply being rude and snobbish does not help the cause. I am the kind of person i discuss matters until we are down to the last word. And when someone brings better and profound matters i don`t want to hear "we agree to disagree" . That is rude too and ignorant.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Bebe Le Strange

I think some people have poor writing skills, poor grammar, English etc; and they have the most difficult times with communicating effectively on a internet chat board.

Hey there sweetheart :-) you could say such things about me a little more polite ! You rude, you ! Now i have to go cry myself in my sleep ....
and that after i tried soooo hard.... to improve.....


(just kidding.... i was just joking.....) :-)

[Bebe Le Strange]

Originally Posted by Iaintliein

And they should be (but often aren't) treated with graciousness by other posters. Respect the person, criticize the idea, ask for clarification if needed.

I agree. I hate seeing someone with poor written communication skills being treated with hostility or impudence.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Ansley

"There are few rules, it's wise to sit back and read for a while before you begin posting. Yes, we engage in that lost practice of using manners. We are polite and we try to seduce, not argue. We expect you to walk that thin line between being polite and not being boring."

I like that quote.

[Guest011914-1]

I completely agree and some people need lessons on being civil and respectful. Than again sometimes I have to take in account the source and realize maybe they just don't know any better and want to boost themselves by putting others down or attacking them. I beleive karma will even things out in the long run.

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

We could at least be civil in expressing opposing opinions. I don't understand why we must have so many snide remarks. Perhaps the only way some posters have of sharpening their wits on a regular basis is by cutting someone down here?

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Bebe Le Strange

As most of us know, with the internet and chat boards/forums comes anonymity. With that anonymity things like respect, manners, and common sense generally go out the window. People feel brave on the internet to bully, and be rude because there is little if nothing that anyone can do except simply ignore.

I think people fell the need to bully also when not in internet boards. And also when not anonymous. I think we have to differ here further. I don`t think anonymity explains it. If that would explain it we all would not have heated discussions and be rude in the first place because - even though anonymous - we are hurt by statements. I`d say for me this does not help because i feel hurt nevertheless. And Nina Sastri , although not my real name is also a brand and not completely anonymous in that sense. I think blaming the internet is not the whole explanation. There is more behind it, becuase people are also rude when not anonymous.

[WTF]

The hardest thing to do is respect people we dislike. I very rarely see it anywhere including here in this forum. I could argue that it is disrespectful to think that this forum is any different than any other forum. Yet people make that claim all the time. I think that disrepectful to other forums.

I do not think one generation is any more disrespectful than the prior, only our preception has changed. We are now the old fucs. We think our way correct. We disrespect young folks for thinking like that IMHO.

I was talking with a lady a week or so ago and we were discussing a thread. One where I had said that religious people go to a doctor when sick and people that are not so religious probably go to church when they find out they only have a few days to live. Her first reaction was that the nonreligious were hypocritical. Not that her POV was hypocritical too but just the other.

Respect is when you can actually put yourself in anothers shoes. Not many people can do it but plenty sure think they do.

[I B Hankering]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Well how would you demonstrate a person is not entitled to respect if you don`t even know he does treat you with disrespect? Its not that simple.

It is that simple. I assume every stranger I meet deserves respect. In most cases, I will not interact with them long enough to know better. Yet that is unimportant, because we will part company, and, in most cases, we will never again meet. In the short run, I am satisfied with the knowledge that I have done everything within my power to promote social harmony. Hopefully, in the long run, my behavior will have positive consequences, but I’ll never know.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Simply being rude and snobbish does not help the cause.

My point exactly. We agree.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

We could at least be civil in expressing opposing opinions. I don't understand why we must have so many snide remarks. Perhaps the only way some posters have of sharpening their wits on a regular basis is by cutting someone down here?

Was not your third sentence a snide one? Again, we have no trouble justifying snide remarks to things/folks we dislike. Everyone does it. Some are to vain to admit it and that is where the trouble begins. IMHO Thicker skin is the answer. I can choose to be insulted or not. What I see as a major problem is how easily some on here are insulted. They do not want respect, they want total submission to their POV

Originally Posted by Ansley

I hope the gentleman who wrote these words won't mind if I post them here. This was written about 5 years ago, couldn't they apply to this forum too?

"There are few rules, it's wise to sit back and read for a while before you begin posting. Yes, we engage in that lost practice of using manners. We are polite and we try to seduce, not argue. We expect you to walk that thin line between being polite and not being boring."

I don't mind