Valentines day/warm and fuzzy stuff!

[Devynn von Tease]

Valentine's Day was super cool when I was in elementary school and you got to decorate a paper bag and send cheap paper valentines with Super Man on them to your classmates, and also have yet another excuse to eat massive amounts of candy other then Halloween. I loved the f*ck out of V-day back then. But, in general I think holidays were a lot more special to me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with dedicating a day to love. Exploiting the crap out of it is just what every holiday has become about. No one I know loves Christmas or even celebrates that holiday for the right reason. Doesn't surprise me that this one is regarded in the same way.

I also agree that if you love and care for someone they should feel special everyday without all the superfluous heart-shaped boxes of candy and cards. I will admit they are fun to get though.

[sixxbach]

guys the feelings we get from providers are an ILLUSION!!! They are being paid to like me, you, and the other fella. if i find someone that i am truly head over hells about, i am done with the hobby.

fuck no, i would rather spend time with someone i have feelings for than someone i am paying. that is crazy if u want to spend time with someone who would not touch you unless you paid them on an ideal time.

[Hottassamelia]

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

What do guys really think about Valentines day? Would you rather spend that day with your SO or a provider? If you are single, does it bother you? This brings me to my next question. Do you ever feel empty after having meaningless sex? Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex? How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

Britney,britney,britney..have you been drinking those energy drinks again?
What did I tell you about that?

[Guest061511-2]

No, I am just annoyingly inquisitive! I think Valentines day means more to girls, in general, than it does guys. I just wondered if the guys get sad if they are single on Valentines day. I feel a little sad I don't have an so to hold me and hug me! Then again, I like my single life! Yup...I have way too much time on my hands!

[GRIN OF SIN]

Alright, so I'm one who loves discussions about topics such as this, so I apologize if it's long winded, but if Britney is really as inquisitive as she says, she'll probably be the only one who reads all of this anyways.

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

What do guys really think about Valentines day?

Like many, I'm well aware that Valentines Day (like most holidays) has become another source of income for certain businesses, but I also enjoy traditions, no matter how trivial they may seem. I think it's healthy for people to participate in Holidays, if only on their own terms. I see nothing wrong with getting someone a card or maybe going a little further and picking up a thoughtful gift.

I'm aware that people have many reasons for disliking or avoiding the numerous Holidays in America, but I'm sure there's gotta be one that still means something, one way or another.

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Would you rather spend that day with your SO or a provider? If you are single, does it bother you?

Definitely with my SO. I won't get into details, as I've already explained my situation on ASPD, but I'd definitely rather spend it with my SO.

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

This brings me to my next question. Do you ever feel empty after having meaningless sex?

I've never had the "empty" feeling after meaningless sex, because I never had meaningless sex... at least not in the sense that I had sex simply because I was bored or used it to accomplish some kind of sinister plot lol. Most men are hotwired for sex and to spread their seed and I strongly believe that going without sex can mentally affect people in a negative way -- not accounting for Sex Addicts or other groups of this nature.

I've also been lucky, as I've yet to see a provider who's given me a negative vibe or feeling of, "thank god that's over... now beat it". If I had, maybe my response would be different, but as of now, I've always enjoyed the experience with no real trepidation or sense of dread, afterwords.

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex? How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

I definitely think it's possible to form a feeling of intimacy within the hobby. Although, I'm guessing most sessions are strictly business with a side of GFE... sometimes people just click. I'm not saying it's love, or anything like that, I'm just saying that a provider is bound to connect with a client on an intimate level at some point. It's probably happening right now lol.

As with anything that walks the line of business and pleasure, it can be tricky to balance. I know there have been occasions where both parties have wondered into the, "I think I have feelings for you" zone, because I've read posts about it. It's just one of those things that you can't say it's always good or bad, because it's more of a "go with your gut" type scenario... unless you've already decided ahead of time that it's never a good idea.... and more often than not, you'd be right to think that way, considering the posts I mentioned earlier.

I hope that satisfies your inquisitive nature.

[missi hart]

my problem with valentine's day is the same as with christmas---the mass commercialization. to me, that cheapens and erodes what each holiday should represent.

i'm single, but if i had a so or spouse, i would want to spend it with them. and rather than fighting the inevitable crowded restaurant, i would cook a nice meal at home as part of a nice romantic evening.

i agree with the sentiments of those that say that love and romance should be a year-round thing and not just emphasized on a manufactured holiday. i would practice and encourage frequent and random actions of love and romance.

[RALPHEY BOY]

I think V Day is a commercial sham, like Method said, you dont need to buy something to show your love or appreciation of some one, Not sure why a Dozen Roses is better than your Partner just saying ' I love You!'

I have not had a V Day date in 15 years , I do not miss it nor even think about it other than not going out to eat that evening..

[Hottassamelia]

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

No, I am just annoyingly inquisitive! I think Valentines day means more to girls, in general, than it does guys. I just wondered if the guys get sad if they are single on Valentines day. I feel a little sad I don't have an so to hold me and hug me! Then again, I like my single life! Yup...I have way too much time on my hands!

I know baby...I was just teasing..you know I love you.,
I will answer these when I have more time..
Hey wanna be my Valentine?
You can come over here and we can cuddle in front of my fireplace....??

[Guest061511-2]

Awe amelia....will you hug me? I agree that all the holidays have become,for lack of a better word, bullshit. All the materialism is an embaressment to our country. That's another topic. I ask a lot of questions, because this is the business I am in. I want to know as much as possible. Its nice to get other peoples perspective on things related to the hobby. I am happy to hear that to you guys say hobby sex isn't just meaningless. Refreshing. We are all human, not robots, so it is interesting to me what kind of feelings providers and hobbyists have after their encounters. 85 percent of the time I am fullfilled and happy after my encounters. I have been lucky to have clients treat me like a lady. There are those times like lately where I miss having an so to just go out to eat or do something fun or even lay around and watch movies. I guess valentines day sparked that, as I am sentimental. If I was a guy id rather spend my day with my lady. I think I will celebrate my independance on v day and go to a spa. Show sum luv to myself lol!

[Guest120311-2]

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Do you think it's possible in the hobby to have that good feeling of intimacy, not just sex? How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings? Just wondering how everyone deals with this?

Originally Posted by GRIN OF SIN

I definitely think it's possible to form a feeling of intimacy within the hobby. Although, I'm guessing most sessions are strictly business with a side of GFE... sometimes people just click. I'm not saying it's love, or anything like that, I'm just saying that a provider is bound to connect with a client on an intimate level at some point. It's probably happening right now lol.

As with anything that walks the line of business and pleasure, it can be tricky to balance. I know there have been occasions where both parties have wondered into the, "I think I have feelings for you" zone, because I've read posts about it. It's just one of those things that you can't say it's always good or bad, because it's more of a "go with your gut" type scenario.

I agree with Grin on this and will take it one step further.
I do connect with clients on an intimate level sometimes when things just click between us. It is not an illusion as a member previously posted but true feelings we all have and some choose to enjoy when possible.

While I do believe both parties need to know themselves and their limits before going in to deep it's a providers responsibility to manage this potential mind field if she and her partner choses to play in it. Intimacy isn't a bad thing in hobby land if kept within the proper parameters. Neither is just good sex!
Tess

[JC_1984]

Valentines day for me is special because it's my birthday. When I was younger I always liked going out and celbrating it, then when I turned 21 it was great again because I got free shots. I don't like sharing Feb. 14th. I feel like I shouldn't have to do anything on that day for my SO. Would Jesus give presents on his birthday or just expect gifts from people? Sorry i'm a lil tipsy right now.

[Spacemtn]

Very interesting thread, Britney. The hard part about participating in this thread for myself (and probably some others) is that it reveals some personal info (marital status, etc.) that is beyond what I might be willng to discuss in a "public" forum.

Valentine's day is a purely commercial creation, but it is a nice one if one is in the begining stages of a serious romantic interlude. Let's face it, as humans, we are suckers for the sappy stuff and we have all participated or fallen victim to sap o phobia!!!

I think the intimacy questions deserve their own thread. They exist without regards of the upcomming "holiday"!! (BTW, that is not a criticism, I just think that an intimacy thread might go on long after Valentine's has passed).

[Guest061511-2]

Originally Posted by Spacemtn

Very interesting thread, Britney. The hard part about participating in this thread for myself (and probably some others) is that it reveals some personal info (marital status, etc.) that is beyond what I might be willng to discuss in a "public" forum.

Valentine's day is a purely commercial creation, but it is a nice one if one is in the begining stages of a serious romantic interlude. Let's face it, as humans, we are suckers for the sappy stuff and we have all participated or fallen victim to sap o phobia!!!

I think the intimacy questions deserve their own thread. They exist without regards of the upcomming "holiday"!! (BTW, that is not a criticism, I just think that an intimacy thread might go on long after Valentine's has passed).

I agree Spacemtn. By all means start it if you like! I am feeling rather shallow today. Nothing thought provoking comes to my mind right now! The only thoughts I am having are about the sushi I am about to slam!

[LadiesFan]

Originally Posted by sixxbach

guys the feelings we get from providers are an ILLUSION!!! They are being paid to like me, you, and the other fella. if i find someone that i am truly head over hells about, i am done with the hobby.

fuck no, i would rather spend time with someone i have feelings for than someone i am paying. that is crazy if u want to spend time with someone who would not touch you unless you paid them on an ideal time.

It's like we were seperated at birth !!!!!
If I were married or dating, I would never consider hobbying.
I don't do GFE when I hobby, guess I am saving the intimacy (or illusion thereof in the case of hobby-land) for "real-life".

Oh, and Valentines Day is a sham to get men to spend money.

LF

[Guest101211-2]

What is Valentines Day to me?

Just another way for corporate America to profit off the weakness of men!

The terns "GF" or "SO" is another way of saying a legalized form of prostitution.

What is man's weakness? Pussy!

Through the centuries and even today, man buys gifts not to show his love for his SO; not because he is feeling guilty from a recent argument; not to just keep the peace at home; not because it's a holiday. But because it will get him pussy and dam good pussy too!

I am not saying men do not have feelings nor care for their SO, they do. What I am saying is man has been able to use this technique to their advantage when they needed to. Now big business comes along and makes it a dam holdiay and ruining mans plan. Now the man has to buy "said gift" on "said" day or face consequences!

Got to go! Runnung off to buy that perfect "F'n" gift!

Who would I rather spend time with on VD! (SO or Provider?)

Which ever one is cheaper! Lol

Seriously though, most guys would say their SOs. I tend to think it would be the gal they felt the closest to! If you were in a bad relationship you may feel closer and have more fun with a Provider. So I guess it depends on the hobbyist"s situation.

Do you think it is possible to have that good feeling of intimacy and not just sex?

Yes, most definitely! I have seen girls that I have "clicked" with. Some of the sessions have been very initimate, or else they faked it well, and some sessions were not so initmate. We are all adults, you need to know your limitations and enjoy the moment.

How do you get both without stepping over the line into developing feelings?

If I knew the answer to this question I would be the "Dr. Phil of the hobby world" let me know if you get the answer to this one! I believe most people would say this should never happen!

However, we are dealing with real live emotions. Things will happen! I have crossed the line before unintentionally and learned some valuable lessons from it. Will I again? I can't answer that? But I am at least allot wiser this time.