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Guest120615-3 · 12-04-2011, 05:26 AM

Irish- so sorry to hear about your betrayal. There's nothing more hurtful, especially when there are so few people to trust in this hobby. Maybe you just trusted the wrong person.

It's only human to want to share certain experiences with someone. As humans though, mistakes are made. Only you know if the violation of trust warrants you to severe that relationship.

Privacy and discretion should always be extended to those we come in contact with here. I know a lot of secrets of different providers and promise to take them to the grave.

Guest011914-1 · 12-04-2011, 05:29 AM

I am a firm believer in people making mistakes and the next move will tell all and we will see but I am glad that I am not wrong in feeling brtrayed...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

Now now Daph people do make mistakes....

pyramider · 12-04-2011, 05:36 AM

Men gossip just as much as women.

Guest011914-1 · 12-04-2011, 05:38 AM

agreed and I know the boundaries and glad you are one to thinks like me...I wish I knew how to do the multi quote....

Quote:

Originally Posted by mwebber

Irish- so sorry to hear about your betrayal. There's nothing more hurtful, especially when there are so few people to trust in this hobby. Maybe you just trusted the wrong person.

It's only human to want to share certain experiences with someone. As humans though, mistakes are made. Only you know if the violation of trust warrants you to severe that relationship.

Privacy and discretion should always be extended to those we come in contact with here. I know a lot of secrets of different providers and promise to take them to the grave.

Outdoorsman · 12-04-2011, 07:00 AM

Trust is the one element of a strong relationship lacking when a hobbyiest and provider get together, at least in my experience.

I know more secrets about providers than I care to know. really because if I did not know the secrets, I can never reveal them can I?

I have had close and special relationships with providers, special friendships if you will. As in all my relationships I make mistakes and so did they, at times I was insenstive to thier need to work, I have insensitive to thier feelings of being a sex toy and not treated as a REAL person, but as close friends we worked out these dileemas and moved on. The ladies have been insenstive to me as well, and at times they expected me to just shrug it off. I do not do that, if I am treated poorly I explain my thoughts and feelings. It has been expected because she was beautiful and other men did not care if she did these things to them, that I should accept it too. I am not other men, I do not accept rudeness or ill treatment, just me. The ladies have improved their treatment to me, the ones that really care for me anyway and the ones that do not it is over, simple.

A person telling me they are sorry is not enough for me. i accept their apologies and forgive but I must see a change in action as well. If she says she is sorry and keeps doing the same thing, she was never really sorry to begin with.

feelings are never wrong IMHO. If you eel betrayed that is how you feel, deal with it. my suggestion is to confront directly, honestly, and listen.

I do have serious issues with trust in this biz, I have never had a provider frined or otherwise to my home due to my reluctance to give full trust to a friend that is a provider, just me.

Ed Highlight · 12-04-2011, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

Trust is the one element of a strong relationship lacking when a hobbyiest and provider get together, at least in my experience.......

We trust each other with our health, safety, financial well-being, livlihood, reputation, marriages, etc., etc. I'd say we trust each other an awful lot and something that should be recognized for how important it really is when we put ourselves out there!!

One element that is lacking? Now way...Seems like it is the element that is ever-present and needs to be top priority!!

Pink Floyd · 12-04-2011, 08:45 AM

All the wisdom of the ages is contained in the original Godfather. "Never tell anyone outside the Family what you are thinking again."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5m4jpUyb-g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpztP...eature=related

Guest011914-1 · 12-04-2011, 08:57 AM

I admire you for your honesty however I agree with Ed basic trust is a needed and on the RARE times a special friendship does develop trust is even more important. you are correct with a true friendship things can be worked out and when I tried he dismissed me so as I said before maybe if he reads this he like yourself will realize his mistake and will make contact and we can more forward if not I have learned another life lesson...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

Trust is the one element of a strong relationship lacking when a hobbyiest and provider get together, at least in my experience.

I know more secrets about providers than I care to know. really because if I did not know the secrets, I can never reveal them can I?

I have had close and special relationships with providers, special friendships if you will. As in all my relationships I make mistakes and so did they, at times I was insenstive to thier need to work, I have insensitive to thier feelings of being a sex toy and not treated as a REAL person, but as close friends we worked out these dileemas and moved on. The ladies have been insenstive to me as well, and at times they expected me to just shrug it off. I do not do that, if I am treated poorly I explain my thoughts and feelings. It has been expected because she was beautiful and other men did not care if she did these things to them, that I should accept it too. I am not other men, I do not accept rudeness or ill treatment, just me. The ladies have improved their treatment to me, the ones that really care for me anyway and the ones that do not it is over, simple.

A person telling me they are sorry is not enough for me. i accept their apologies and forgive but I must see a change in action as well. If she says she is sorry and keeps doing the same thing, she was never really sorry to begin with.

feelings are never wrong IMHO. If you eel betrayed that is how you feel, deal with it. my suggestion is to confront directly, honestly, and listen.

I do have serious issues with trust in this biz, I have never had a provider frined or otherwise to my home due to my reluctance to give full trust to a friend that is a provider, just me.

Naomi4u · 12-04-2011, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

Now now Daph people do make mistakes....

Not those kind of mistakes. No one deserves a second chance after THAT kind of mistake.

charlestudor2005 · 12-04-2011, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

Now now Daph people do make mistakes....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Vixen

I am a firm believer in people making mistakes and the next move will tell all and we will see but I am glad that I am not wrong in feeling brtrayed...

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZarahAdams

Not those kind of mistakes. No one deserves a second chance after THAT kind of mistake.

@EA - a "mistake" is when you forget to dot your i or cross your t. This was not a mistake: it was an intentional breach of a promise. It violated a trust relationship.

@Irish - cut him loose. No one is worth that kind of pain.

@Zarah - I contend this is NOT a mistake, but something much worse. But you're right: no one deserves a second chance after that.

And, since I don't know how the OKs on P411 work, I don't know if this is possible: but, if you can, go back and withdraw your OKs. Just a suggestion to help protect future ladies from this kind of conduct.

Eccie Addict · 12-04-2011, 09:24 AM

Remember that one day when you all would like a second chance....

Not saying what he did was right because it isn't.... Irish you have every reason to be mad and every reason to cut him loose and I wouldn't blame you if you did.

It's an interesting thing here in this lifestyle.... trust.... If a person will lie, cheat, break the trust of the one they supposedly love the most in this world do you really believe they won't break your trust. Not that there aren't any trustworthy people here because there are its just something to really consider when developing friendships here.

London Rayne · 12-04-2011, 10:17 AM

Some men need to learn when to stfu! It goes beyond the hobby honey, so be thankful he did not try to out you in real life. Toss this one aside and quick.

I find it funny when a guy does this, he is supposed to be given another chance and when a provider does it, she's a liability. It goes both ways. Keep your fkin mouth shut if you want her to do the same!

Outdoorsman · 12-04-2011, 10:49 AM

I disagree that there is large amount of trust, providers so not know my name, who I am or much at all unless I allow it. Do I know ur name? There is a reason cuz there is a low level of trust. Does she really like me or looking for repeat biz? Is he really an airline pilot or is he bsing me? Is he really single? The only trust existent is the small amount of info from refs. The reason this website exists is to exchange info cuz we do not trust each other, IMHO.

Ed Highlight · 12-04-2011, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

I disagree that there is large amount of trust, providers so not know my name, who I am or much at all unless I allow it. Do I know ur name? There is a reason cuz there is a low level of trust. Does she really like me or looking for repeat biz? Is he really an airline pilot or is he bsing me? Is he really single? The only trust existent is the small amount of info from refs. The reason this website exists is to exchange info cuz we do not trust each other, IMHO.

ODMan, it appears that you and I hobby on a slightly different level. I am very insecure about who I see and need to develop a fairly substantial, trusting relationship before I indulge. I am not a spontaneously or serial sampler and prefer to be loyal to a very select few with whom I have cultivated a safe, secure and hopefully lasting relationship. Sort of semi-monogamous!?! With most of the women I see, I have/know/share a great deal of personal information (as do they) and we really have to trust each other in order to keep it in the safety zone.

I look at it this way, we exchange information so we can trust each other!!

Guest011914-1 · 12-04-2011, 12:35 PM

damn i wish i could figure out how to multi quote.
CT...this person is not on P411 but even he was I wouldn't reverse an OK for something like this...
Outdoor..there has to be trust when you meet a provider...we don't know who you are however like London stated if we repeat anything we are a liabity...this is about a special friendship that has grown over time and the level of trust i ceased and it was fun being about to post comments back and forth and no one else was suppose to know...The way I do what I do is I add a personal touch it isn't just about the money the gentlemen I communicate and see it based on how we connect.
Thank you for everyone's comments and support..i am hoping he reads this and realizes what he has done..
Like I said before the privacy and protecting those I see is of utmost importance to me. I know men talk and that I understand. I apologize I am rambling....