How does it feel to impregnant a woman?

[awl4knot]

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

I

But with the response of oden, does it make you feel that you could go and impregnate say ... a small village? Does the sense of fathering a child make you feel like you have more personal power from within?

Does knocking up your wife boost your ego or sense of manhood? Not for this guy. It was a desired event and it made everyone very happy and created a sense of urgency in finishing the remodeling of the house, etc, but really, it was an emotionally restrained, though positive, event.

You have to remember that at the age when most men father children, sex is so easy and sperm so abundant, that it's hard to think that any part of the procreative process is overly remarkable. At this stage of my life I am much more appreciative of the wonders of sex and find great satisfaction in truly minor triumphs.

Maybe in some cultures (remember Sonny in "The Godfather") siring children is necessary to prove one's virility, but I would think that the decline in family size suggests that sort of thinking is no longer prevalent.

BTW, I think that women receive more of boost for their self-esteem by delivering a healthy child since it is ultimate proof of their sexuality. I see the young, hot mothers in my town and they are positively brimming with sexual assurance and confidence, at least until the second kid arrives, and then it becomes a real struggle.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

No.

Word.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

For most? I’d say it is varying degrees of “Oh, Shit!”
Factors that would vary the degree of “Oh, Shit!”?…

Married or unmarried?
If not married, love the gal or just sport’n?
Guy’s age at conception?
Guy’s financial stability and wherewithal?
Trying to have a kid or just getting laid?

Even if you’re married, committed to your wife, in your 20’s or 30’s, have a good income and have been trying to have kids…if the fact that you are now going to have one doesn’t sober you up a bit, then you just don’t understand the commitment.

Take some of those perfect facts out…and mix in a bit more “real life”…and the “Oh, Shit!” factor increases exponentially.

Agree. Too many variables.

But one observation. You know we all have those external events in life that make us internalize that life is changing. For me one of those was when I was around 25 and it occurred to me that I was really an adult: my friends that were expecting were going from (privately) saying "Oops!" to "We're so happy, we've been trying for nearly a year."

Originally Posted by awl4knot

Maybe in some cultures (remember Sonny in "The Godfather") siring children is necessary to prove one's virility, but I would think that the decline in family size suggests that sort of thinking is no longer prevalent.

.

I attribute it to sex education, better birth control, legal abortions and the realization that kids are just damn expensive....

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by WTF

It's like a bowl of extra hot chili on cold wintery day.....you dream about throwing it down but dread it coming out.

[RunSilent RunDeep]

Interesting question. I really had to think about it. Which may be why that fellow changed the subject. I probably wouldn't be able to give a good answer in a face-to-face conversation. Of course, we guys often have to stop and think a while in order to find out how we feel about something that's not a typical "guy thing" (like beer, baseball, or you ladies ).

On reflection, each time that I learned that I "had impregnated a woman," (1) I was married to her and (2) we intended to have another baby. So as it happens there were no "shit"s or "oops"s in my cases.

Each time, it felt like I was being given an awesome and welcome set of responsibilities: first to her, to take care of her during the pregnancy; and then eventually also to the baby. Maybe like when you get your drivers license -- now you get to drive a car, but now you also assume the responsibilities that come with driving a car. There's a particular kind of "awesome" that goes with that. A solemn kind, perhaps.

The only strong feelings I had were (1) when we first deliberately stopped using birth control (each time), and (2) when our first baby was born.

Stopping the use of birth control was awesome. "I might make her pregnant" -- awesome.

Since we usually used condoms (before my v-ectomy), the bareback feeling was certainly stimulating of course. But the added uncertainty of the outcome -- that something might "happen" beyond simply "we'll have a good time" -- changed it from playing a friendly game of poker to playing poker for serious money. (No pun intended.) It ramped my excitement way up, the first time or two that we did it after we started trying.

Sometimes I use my memory of that feeling as a fantasy during birth-controlled sex, to "up" the feeling of intensity.

And watching our first baby's head pop out -- wow.

The doc had asked me to help brace one of her legs, so I was maybe a foot away and at the side. My first impression was that I was seeing a fist. ("A fist? There? Where did that come from?" I asked myself.) Then I realized that the "creases" between the "fingers" weren't horizontal: they were vertical.

Then my brain resolved the "vertical creases" into two eyes squeezed tightly shut (one "above" the other) and a mouth also squeezed tightly shut. This was a face, seen sideways.

And the world reeled, like it did in the Millennium Falcon's first jump to hyperspace in the first-released Star Wars movie.

The doc thought I had fainted (like many new dads do). I hadn't. I was weeping. As I often do when I'm overwhelmed by that which transcends nature-as-I-have-known-it.

RSRD

[TexTushHog]

News was rather expected as we had been trying for a while. I don't know that I thought much of it one way or another other than we had succeeded in attaining a goal. I don't think it made me feel any different about my virility, although it did, I suppose, drive home to a degree the impending responsibility that we were about to take on. But frankly, I'd pretty well process that or we wouldn't have been trying.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by RunSilent RunDeep

And watching our first baby's head pop out -- wow.

The doc had asked me to help brace one of her legs, so I was maybe a foot away and at the side. My first impression was that I was seeing a fist. ("A fist? There? Where did that come from?" I asked myself.) Then I realized that the "creases" between the "fingers" weren't horizontal: they were vertical.

Then my brain resolved the "vertical creases" into two eyes squeezed tightly shut (one "above" the other) and a mouth also squeezed tightly shut. This was a face, seen sideways.

And the world reeled, like it did in the Millennium Falcon's first jump to hyperspace in the first-released Star Wars movie.

The doc thought I had fainted (like many new dads do). I hadn't. I was weeping. As I often do when I'm overwhelmed by that which transcends nature-as-I-have-known-it.

RSRD

Yeah, imagine how that feels..
I was between worlds lol

[soxfan]

its very impowering

[Mr. Smith111]

The first time was planned and I was very happy about it. Lots of planning ,wondering and worry.
The second time was not planned and I was angry, felt betrayed, and stayed that way for a while. Then accepted the idea,and wound up happy about it.
The biggest factor in it all is the totall responsibility you feel. Lots of questions pop into your head about what kind of father you will be.Will you have the answers.Will you be able to handle all that comes with it.
It made me feel more vulnerable than powerful. But overall it's the best thing you can do.

[Spaulding Smails]

the thought of spreading my seed and directly contributing to the evolution of mankind was deeply satisfying!

[Ansley]

Originally Posted by Spaulding Smails

the thought of spreading my seed and directly contributing to the evolution of mankind was deeply satisfying!

Lucky us.

[oden]

New look I see. May I be the first to complement you?

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

I like it too.

[Carrie Hillcrest]

I think this is one of the most interesting topics I've seen on this board. Ever. The variety of responses is fascinating to me. Even moreso because we rarely hear the male point of view.

Actually even with women, you only get one side: the fairy tale "I was the happiest I've ever been" etc. That's a wonderful and envious emotion, but our culture seems to have the idea that not falling in love with motherhood immediately and without doubt or misgivings means there's something wrong with the woman.

I've never been a parent. I have no idea how I'll react if/when I find myself 'spectin'.

[Ansley]

Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest

That's a wonderful and envious emotion, but our culture seems to have the idea that not falling in love with motherhood immediately and without doubt or misgivings means there's something wrong with the woman.

Wow you just brought up something that used to haunt me. I was one of those women that didn't fall in love with motherhood. For many years I felt guilty that I didn't have all those maternal feelings. I thought I was the only woman that felt that way. One day just by chance I met a woman that had the same feelings that I did. It was as if a load of bricks had been lifted off of my shoulders. She was just as relieved to have met me too. She and I shared a couple of other conversations then we fell out of each others life. That happened way back in 1995. I still remember it like it happened last week.