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icansmile · 01-17-2015, 04:55 AM

You never know. Mulch always gets ME hot. Maybe you'll get a call.

L.A. · 01-17-2015, 05:07 AM

If you felt good about what you did when you were finished then it was time and money well spent.

aubie79 · 01-17-2015, 05:27 AM

Sounds like you did something nice for someone and no boundaries were crossed. So feel good about what you did.

Although if the relationship is as unique as you describe I'm not sure why you felt compelled to tell us about it.

Luke Skywalker · 01-17-2015, 07:21 AM

Sir Lance, as altruistic of the thing you did, it was improper in my opinion.

Never, ever go to a providers home unannounced. No matter how friends you are with her. It is wrong in so many levels, an invasion on her privacy, she might have been busy and a client just leaving might have confused you for a pimp... Imagine if it was the wacko that brings a concealed gun.

You're smarter than that. Stop thinking with your dick.

Edit: I missed reading your last paragraph. I take my comment back. Make sure you serve Don Perignion two stars during the wedding. It is my favorite, I will need it for the toast.

EZ. · 01-17-2015, 07:31 AM

I think you have lost your fuc*'n mind.

Sir Lancehernot · 01-17-2015, 07:39 AM

Luke, you either did not read what I wrote or chose to ignore it. She had told me that it was okay to drop the gift card off at her house when she was not going to be home, and she specified a time period for me to do that. I would not have done so otherwise, for the reasons you mention, among others.

threepeckeredbillygoat, I see the same two sides that you do. I think the same break is occurring here as in the "friends" thread. All I can tell you is that I think I have a pretty good idea of where the line is, and I've apparently stayed on the correct side of it, for I have yet to be rebuked, admonished or put in my place.

icansmile, what does the thought of having your carpets cleaned do for you?

L.A., thanks.

nicholas linnear · 01-17-2015, 08:29 AM

Hey I have been there....I've given a sofa and washing machine to one provider and moved them in ( she gave me a couple of thai cooking classes while her little boy romped and he's a cute little mofo, moved another girl from one place to another....hell I even married one once...just all shit we can laugh about when we're old and pooping in our pants

Luke Skywalker · 01-17-2015, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Luke, you either did not read what I wrote or chose to ignore it. She had told me that it was okay to drop the gift card off at her house when she was not going to be home, and she specified a time period for me to do that. I would not have done so otherwise, for the reasons you mention, among others.

Sir lance... you missed my edit. Please read it again, i want to make sure you pick the right bubly....

SofaKingFun · 01-17-2015, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

No comments about the qualifier, "sometimes."

So I sent an email on Tuesday to one of my regulars, asking if I could see her Wednesday or Thursday. She had previously said she would be unavailable on Friday. No response.

So, with my hobby money burning a hole in my pocket, I dropped by her house today (I knew she was going to be away until a certain time) and 1) left a gift card for one of her kids' birthday, 2) left a welcome mat at her front door (she didn't have one, and I figured I'd buy one to leave the card under, 3) left her some flowers, and 4) spread five bags of mulch in her shrub beds to help keep the weeds down after spraying them with Round-Up.

Then I went back to my office, shut the door, and pretended I'd spent my hobby money more wisely.

Like I said, sometimes ....

Eject! Eject!! Eject!!!

If you don't pull the ripcord, STAT, this is going to be one of those, 'sometimes'.

Don't get me wrong. Friendships are great, and I hope this one is a long, lasting, and mutually rewarding one.....however....I have this uncanny ability to see the obvious. It's a gift...other times a curse. But this whole thing just has a feel to it that, truthfully, doesn't end very well....something about touching the flame...or coming in too hot...I don't know. But it's definitely something. ..

Again, I hope that I'm wrong.

But in case I'm not, just remember that you can use your seat cushion as a flotation device as you reflect once again, on the, "sometimes", thing

Regards,
SKF

.

bored@home · 01-17-2015, 11:13 AM

I got home and seen a mat then noticed my shrubs had mulch. I thought "Lucy's got some splainin to-do" but then I checked and thankfully no gift card or flowers so all is right with the world again (queue the long ricky laugh).

If she appreciates it and you feel good about it who cares? Just don't let it become a hand crafted table type thread

cinderbella · 01-17-2015, 11:14 AM

I don't think he is crazy at all. Sometimes the business of intimate relationships creates a bond that is intense, similar to having a close friend who you feel strong enough to express your emotions with.

I was in a class eons ago for single moms, like a welfare to work self esteem workshop where we got real down and personal. It was the most bonding course I ever took and we really got to know each other during the weeks. One of the women I sat next to I couldn't stand but I was forced to really get to know her.

I ended up having a weird sibling sort of relationship with her, and one day I couldn't reach her on her phone. I went a little crazy and started to worry, and ended up leaving her all sorts of messages. She showed up at class the next day and I was the laughing stock of the group for interfering with her personal life.

I understand in my own crazy, messed up way how he feels. And yes, I have had clients show up at my door unannounced wondering why I wasn't answering my phone. I always greet them with a hug and alot of appreciation for caring. AND YES, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CARING AND STALKING! STALKERS ARE GREETED WITH THREATS OF VIOLENCE. I haven't had to deal with a stalker in a long, long time!

cinnamonshark · 01-17-2015, 11:22 AM

Man, that was a very sweet and thoughtful thing you did...if she was your girlfriend!

Guest020720 · 01-17-2015, 12:20 PM

I'm with sofaking here.

I have been down the road of getting too involved in a client/provider relationship twice now.

The first one ended up in a marriage. The second one, I was the other, and it ended up in heartbreak, big time. Horrible self-destruction mode to myself and those around me. He turned out fine from what I can tell. Perfect life, perfect job, perfect wife...all not affected from what it seems. But that is another story.

Anyways, those kind actions of friendship mean much more to someone in a client/provider relationship than you probably realize they do. Especially when it involves doing something for their kiddos.

Again, I'm telling you this from the provider side of experience.

Keep doing what you are doing if you want to either land in the lap of a full blown relationship with her, or in terrible heartache.

It's bound to happen.

And yes, it was a very kind thing to do.

sparrow1122 · 01-17-2015, 12:33 PM

Sir L,
Sweet and nice gesture. No boundaries crossed.

I would pump the brakes though.....see INTAngies post above.

EZ. · 01-17-2015, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cinnamonshark

Man, that was a very sweet and thoughtful thing you did...if she was your girlfriend!

She is his girl as long as he keeps seeing her and forking out the cash.

This is a business transaction. It leaves me about as emotional as when I leave my tax attorney. Hell, he saves me money.

tntangie,

"Keep doing what you are doing if you want to either land in the lap of a full blown relationship with her, or in terrible heartache." While you are at it, give him the odds on that?

Early in my ASPD days, I made a similar gesture and she thought I was stalking her. I had never planned on seeing her again ...at a social just being nice.