What's your weirdest/funniest/wildest experience in the hobby?

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by ric

Funny story TMFT. Are they located on R @ G ?

Yup ... they would always say... "...You SPECIAL customer..."

[Toreador_one]

Had my share of "out of the ordinary" experiences. (most if not all shared before in one or another of the boards)

In the category of "Oh fuck, not the way I wanted to go" (scariest no doubt)
At a strip bar in a Central American country, 6-7 years ago . Sitting with a very sweet companion who had found the right comfortable spot on my lap. We are not far from the dance stage, thug walks in the place, walks to a dude on the other side of the stage, pulls out a handgun, throws the dude on the stage, places the handgun on the side of his head, starts cussing at him. My sweet and quick thinking companion, tells me "ven conmigo"("come with me") and drags me in the ladies room. No windows, no exit, we are fucked, she looked scared shitless, you can imagine how I was feeling...... luckily thug left without firing a shot, needless to say I was out of there in a hurry never to return.

In the category of "You gotta be kidding!!!! now what?" ( A daring one)
Sunday night at a location in Mexico a couple of years ago, strip bars are closed, can't find the sleezy paper with the adult ads. Plan C, get a cabby and ask. (wanted a chica to bring back to my hotel room), Cabby says he thinks he knows where to go. Goes to a residential area, turn downs a street, at the end of the street all kind of flashing lights, Oh well I thought, cabby goes on, as we got close, it was obvious a big LE opeartion was going on, I see a display of federales forming a perimeter around a house. cabby continues and stops at the house next door!!!!!, honks, a dude comes out, cabby tells him what I am looking for, she tells me the rates, I look across the street and there are two federales guns on stand by wondering what is going on. A minute later, three chicas in LINGERIE, walk out and model for me under the carport, I look at the federales and they are watching the show, what to do!!!!, fuck it, selected a chica, she went in got on her street clothes and got her purse and out we were out to the hotel. On the way there she asked why was I sweating, duh!!

In the category of.. what are the Odds!!! (a funny one)
At my hotel room during another visit to Mexico, I believe last year. This time I dot a copy of the sleezy paper, called an agency to order in. Agent asked me how I would like the girl to look like. Ok, sure, short, slim, big tits. Fine she will be there in 30 minutes. 30 minutes go by and nothing, I head down to the lobby, is a small hotel very little traffic on the lobby. after a while, a taxi pulls over, a nice looking chica steps out, no baggage no companion, short, slim and a nice set of tits, mmm my order has been delivered!!, I walked up to her and asked, are you here for room 215? yes she says, great!!!, we walked up to the room, she asks for the donation. hand it over to her, she says I am short, I told her what the donation was that I was told over the phone, she insists I am short, she calls the agent. As she is talking talking to the agent, my hotel room phone rings, desk clerk tells me that señorita Vanessa is here to see me. what? they sent two chicas? I asked the girl in my room, what room did you come visit? she tells me room 315!!!! (I am in 215, this is a mere 3 floor hotel!!). OOPS!!!, we had a laugh, walked down to the lobby to meet Vanessa, another short chica, not as slim but with bigger tits!!!

Another "What are the Odds" story

Last year, visiting LA, California, 4 star hotel. I walk down to the lobby then I see a blonde, short white dress (the clubbing type but this is very early in the evening) walkimg in unaccompanied, she just seemed out of place, my spidy sense tells me "has to be an escort", she walks by and I noticed some distinctive tattos (Shooting stars) on her shoulder and back. She gets on an elevator and is gone. hmmmm. The Sherlock "John" Holmes in me takes over, lets go investigate, get back in my room get on my laptop, I get on LA's BP escort ads and under the search area enter the area of LA I was staying at. Bingo!!!! 2 minutes tops I find her ad Shooting stars and all (but could not find any reviews.) I did call her after a while, told her where I was staying. Really? she said, I was just there. No shit!!! she had other plans and could get to me later that night.. I passed.

Have others to share... maybe later

[ric]

Originally Posted by ThatManFromTexas

Yup ... they would always say... "...You SPECIAL customer..."

HaHa, I knew it. Recognized it from your description.

[1Curiousguy]

Originally Posted by enderwiggin

Ender's Funniest Hobbying Experience

For those sans-premium, the gist of the story is that not only was she bat-shit crazy, OTR, and fresh off a tit biopsy, but she also left her "feminine napkin" in my tub. Direct quote: "I only give blowjobs on Venus."

I have premium access and even when I logged in after the link came up I got nothing of the story. Just the form filled in and the pics. Has this been edited?

[enderwiggin]

Originally Posted by 1Curiousguy

I have premium access and even when I logged in after the link came up I got nothing of the story. Just the form filled in and the pics. Has this been edited?

It comes up fine for me.

[1Curiousguy]

I finally just went to the Maryland Forum and lo and behold yours is the ONLY review. It was fine there, but the link wouldn't work properly.

But you're right, it is a really funny story. Hope you scrubbed that leg really well after she left.

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by ric

HaHa, I knew it. Recognized it from your description.

Wait... does that mean I'm not really "Special Customer"...

[boardman]

Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

Do emails from prospective clients count? There are times when I want to respond to some requests "Sure!" but I doubt most of them are serious, I think they're just jerking off while they type it knowing they've sent an email that will be read by someone out there. It is similar to a flasher. There is the guy that sends long emails about watching me get fucked by an effeminate hispanic male, then there is the man that wants me to cut his wife's hair and then there is the guy that just wants to get on the phone with a girl and say "release" at you once you're on the phone.

I thought you liked my emails.
There goes that fantasy......now I need another reason to jerk off.

[boardman]

Nuevo Laredo years ago. I was sitting in the bar across from Papagayo's with a sweet little thing in my lap drinking beer with my buddies and trying to negotiate over the loud music. All of a sudden the music stops the lights come on and Federales are all over the place, all carrying M-16s or sub machine guns. My chica says "be quiet, don't look at them." They parade around the place for about 10 minutes then stop at our table and one of them just stands there over me. I finally decided I had better look at him or he wasn't going to leave. When I did he showed me a sinister little grin that just about made me piss my pants. Then he turned around and walked off. All the rest had left he was just fucking with me. The lights went back down and the music came back on like nothing happened. I was a nervous fucking wreck till we got back across the border.

[Toreador_one]

Originally Posted by boardman

Nuevo Laredo years ago. I was sitting in the bar across from Papagayo's with a sweet little thing in my lap drinking beer with my buddies and trying to negotiate over the loud music. All of a sudden the music stops the lights come on and Federales are all over the place, all carrying M-16s or sub machine guns. My chica says "be quiet, don't look at them." They parade around the place for about 10 minutes then stop at our table and one of them just stands there over me. I finally decided I had better look at him or he wasn't going to leave. When I did he showed me a sinister little grin that just about made me piss my pants. Then he turned around and walked off. All the rest had left he was just fucking with me. The lights went back down and the music came back on like nothing happened. I was a nervous fucking wreck till we got back across the border.

Yeah, that reminds me of a similiar situation, I am standing at social event talking to my ATF when on comes the lights and a number of vice walks in the room, wait!!! wrong event, the one I was thinking about was once again in Mexico, I was sitting at a strip bar at getting a lapdance from this latina with big tittys full of milk, (she had just had a baby a couple of months back), I was enjoying some sweet tasting milk when on come the lights, music stop and in come the HEALTH department squad, they came cheking for the chicas' health cards ( yes can you believe it), it was nearly closing times and knew the chica was not going to come back to finish the dance so I left. on the way out I saw they had taken 3-4 chicas into a wagon I guess for no or expired cards

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by Toreador_one

Had my share of "out of the ordinary" experiences. (most if not all shared before in one or another of the boards)

In the category of "Oh fuck, not the way I wanted to go" (scariest no doubt)
At a strip bar in a Central American country, 6-7 years ago . Sitting with a very sweet companion who had found the right comfortable spot on my lap. We are not far from the dance stage, thug walks in the place, walks to a dude on the other side of the stage, pulls out a handgun, throws the dude on the stage, places the handgun on the side of his head, starts cussing at him. My sweet and quick thinking companion, tells me "ven conmigo"("come with me") and drags me in the ladies room. No windows, no exit, we are fucked, she looked scared shitless, you can imagine how I was feeling...... luckily thug left without firing a shot, needless to say I was out of there in a hurry never to return.

In the category of "You gotta be kidding!!!! now what?" ( A daring one)
Sunday night at a location in Mexico a couple of years ago, strip bars are closed, can't find the sleezy paper with the adult ads. Plan C, get a cabby and ask. (wanted a chica to bring back to my hotel room), Cabby says he thinks he knows where to go. Goes to a residential area, turn downs a street, at the end of the street all kind of flashing lights, Oh well I thought, cabby goes on, as we got close, it was obvious a big LE opeartion was going on, I see a display of federales forming a perimeter around a house. cabby continues and stops at the house next door!!!!!, honks, a dude comes out, cabby tells him what I am looking for, she tells me the rates, I look across the street and there are two federales guns on stand by wondering what is going on. A minute later, three chicas in LINGERIE, walk out and model for me under the carport, I look at the federales and they are watching the show, what to do!!!!, fuck it, selected a chica, she went in got on her street clothes and got her purse and out we were out to the hotel. On the way there she asked why was I sweating, duh!!

In the category of.. what are the Odds!!! (a funny one)
At my hotel room during another visit to Mexico, I believe last year. This time I dot a copy of the sleezy paper, called an agency to order in. Agent asked me how I would like the girl to look like. Ok, sure, short, slim, big tits. Fine she will be there in 30 minutes. 30 minutes go by and nothing, I head down to the lobby, is a small hotel very little traffic on the lobby. after a while, a taxi pulls over, a nice looking chica steps out, no baggage no companion, short, slim and a nice set of tits, mmm my order has been delivered!!, I walked up to her and asked, are you here for room 215? yes she says, great!!!, we walked up to the room, she asks for the donation. hand it over to her, she says I am short, I told her what the donation was that I was told over the phone, she insists I am short, she calls the agent. As she is talking talking to the agent, my hotel room phone rings, desk clerk tells me that señorita Vanessa is here to see me. what? they sent two chicas? I asked the girl in my room, what room did you come visit? she tells me room 315!!!! (I am in 215, this is a mere 3 floor hotel!!). OOPS!!!, we had a laugh, walked down to the lobby to meet Vanessa, another short chica, not as slim but with bigger tits!!!

Another "What are the Odds" story

Last year, visiting LA, California, 4 star hotel. I walk down to the lobby then I see a blonde, short white dress (the clubbing type but this is very early in the evening) walkimg in unaccompanied, she just seemed out of place, my spidy sense tells me "has to be an escort", she walks by and I noticed some distinctive tattos (Shooting stars) on her shoulder and back. She gets on an elevator and is gone. hmmmm. The Sherlock "John" Holmes in me takes over, lets go investigate, get back in my room get on my laptop, I get on LA's BP escort ads and under the search area enter the area of LA I was staying at. Bingo!!!! 2 minutes tops I find her ad Shooting stars and all (but could not find any reviews.) I did call her after a while, told her where I was staying. Really? she said, I was just there. No shit!!! she had other plans and could get to me later that night.. I passed.

Have others to share... maybe later

Originally Posted by Toreador_one

Yeah, that reminds me of a similiar situation, I am standing at social event talking to my ATF when on comes the lights and a number of vice walks in the room, wait!!! wrong event, the one I was thinking about was once again in Mexico, I was sitting at a strip bar at getting a lapdance from this latina with big tittys full of milk, (she had just had a baby a couple of months back), I was enjoying some sweet tasting milk when on come the lights, music stop and in come the HEALTH department squad, they came cheking for the chicas' health cards ( yes can you believe it), it was nearly closing times and knew the chica was not going to come back to finish the dance so I left. on the way out I saw they had taken 3-4 chicas into a wagon I guess for no or expired cards

You have some interesting stories... no offense... but... I don't think hanging out with you would be good for my cardiac condition...

[Toreador_one]

Originally Posted by ThatManFromTexas

You have some interesting stories... no offense... but... I don't think hanging out with you would be good for my cardiac condition...

So I take it you do not want to hang around with me at the cantina off I-10 and Federal do you? (is that place still open? anyone? it is almost time for my yearly visit!!)

[boardman]

Originally Posted by Toreador_one

So I take it you do not want to hang around with me at the cantina off I-10 and Federal do you? (is that place still open? anyone? it is almost time for my yearly visit!!)

I'm sure it has burned at least twice since your last visit.

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by Toreador_one

So I take it you do not want to hang around with me at the cantina off I-10 and Federal do you? (is that place still open? anyone? it is almost time for my yearly visit!!)

[tikkler33]

Where's Lee5 when we need him?